Soooo, October 1st, huh?
Well, that didn’t happen. And what’s worse is that I’ve made the very difficult decision to step away from blog writing and focus on book writing.
I mean, I wrote a book during quarantine. Me. A 70,000 word YA Fantasy. And I’m in revisions right now and I’m going to query it. And then I have another idea that I have about 5,000 words on currently.
So, you see, I have a lot on my plate. And while I LOVE blogging and sending out a bit of brightness every day (the universe knows we need it), I need to focus on one bit of writing at a time.
I know, I know. I’ve literally never blogged for a solid year without taking a break. I don’t know how to rebut this argument, only to say, I know and I’m sorry.
However, I will say this isn’t goodbye. I could be back next year, I may not, but there’s a possibility.
But even if I don’t come back, don’t stop spreading positivity. Ever.
You know I won’t.
I hate to do this in the middle of a week, but it has come to my cosmic attention that I am spreading myself way too thin.
As I’m working toward #pitchwars in September, I think it would be best if I took a break until October 1st.
Thank you in advance for your understanding.
Don’t forget to be kind to yourself in the meantime.
P.S. I know, I know. I said this time would be different and I wouldn’t let you guys down. I’m sorry.
P.P.S. Like really sorry.
Over the weekend, I got a pretty bad sunburn. And it’s the time of year, at least in North America, for almost everyone to get one.
It’s awful – your skin is painful and you get the chills because your body is radiating heat.
Once someone sees you with a sunburn, they know instinctively that feeling of pain and uncomfortableness.
But what about people who carry around pain all day, every day, that people can’t see or don’t know how to relate to?
Sunburn may be painful, but it is really nothing when compared to the battles we fight everyday on the inside.
Be kind. Everyone is dealing with sunburn…on their soul.
Listen, I’ve been there. Waiting for results from all my hard work. Hoping to see a yes or a pound lost.
But have you looked at a plant lately?
When they grow a new leaf, it is small. If you don’t look closely, you might miss it. And then it grows, a little each day, until it’s fully formed.
Remember, you are a growing thing, and you grow in the same way as plants.
A little at a time, but beautifully.
I made a playlist this evening. I used to make all kinds of playlists all the time, and I would burn them to CDs and then drive around and listen to them, singing along.
So, it felt good, even though I hadn’t done it in awhile. Even though I lost track of time. Even though I didn’t get started on all the chores and responsibilities that I should have been doing while I was making it.
And sometimes, just sometimes, you need to do things because you want to do them. If you think about it, everyone just does what someone else tells them they have to do, all day long. They rarely do things that they want to do. For the hell of it.
So, do things for the hell of it, once in awhile. Make a playlist and jam out.
I’ll be right there with you.
When I say, “be productive” what do you think of?
When I say it, I think of that Thursday that I cleaned and vacuumed my whole house after work. Or when I spent quarantine writing a book I’ve had in my head for years.
What I don’t think of is this past weekend where I mostly stayed on the couch to watch Hamilton to my heart’s content.
But no matter what you think of, I’m just here to tell you that it’s okay. It’s okay to experience productivity in spurts or waves. Not everyone is the Energizer Bunny, revving up to take chores down.
And if you can’t rest until everything is taken care of, that’s okay too.
All I’m saying is it’s okay to be you, at whatever energy level feels right.
Today wasn’t a shining moment in my history.
I made an error, and I got really mad at myself for making it.
But the thing is, I already felt bad about the error. And then, on top of that, I was angry about making it.
But this is like when someone kicks when you’re down. Or beating a dead horse. Or insert your own violent metaphor here.
It doesn’t do anything to pile on the blame on yourself when you already feel bad. It actually hurts the situation because then you’ll feel like you can’t do anything right and you become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Take a deep breath. Learn from your mistakes. And move on.
Oh, and having a really supportive partner doesn’t hurt things either.
Never is a hard word to swallow or say.
But I can guarantee you this one thing: you’ll never be as pretty as the super model selling things to you.
No matter what you buy, no matter what you try.
And I want you to sit in that pain for a minute… and then realize that you’re not going to look like that super model because you are too busy looking like you.
And what a wonderful thing that is.
So, be yourself, above all else. You can still do it with the make-up, dress, bra, workout routine, that you found online.
But be you while you are doing it.
Does it feel like for anyone else that someone opened Pandora’s box in 2020 and everything flew out? Like we should put everything in a box having to do with 2020 and just push it off a cliff and start over?
Well, to me it has. It feels like I’m boxing up emotions, old memories and shipping them out.
Because despite what they will say about 2020, hope was still left in that box.
I see it on people’s faces during the protests. I see it in people’s eyes, above their masks.
It’s there. All you have to do is look for it.
I think I’ve rewritten this blog post three different times.
I can’t seem to find the words today. But what I like about blog writing is what I like about living.
There’s always a chance to start over.
From minute to minute, you are a changing person with differing views as you take in new information. It’s okay if you change with the flow too.
Don’t hold yourself back and don’t hold yourself in. Rewrite your story as many times as you like until it’s something you well…like.