Doctor Who Haikus

Continuing with my Doctor Who celebration, I’m going to honor their 50 years of out-of-this world work in the only way I know how: poorly crafted haikus.

Yes, I know, this Japanese art form’s subjects traditionally center around nature, but actually, haikus lend themselves perfectly to blog posts. And, uncannily, to Doctor Who. 

Okay, just humor me. Titles are in bold.

Do You Need Custard With That?
You eat fish fingers.
I wasn’t even aware
that fish had fingers.

The Girl Who Was Kept Waiting
Amelia Pond, I
know I’ve kept you waiting but
you’ll have to stay there.

I Create Myself
I am the Bad Wolf.
I am Life and Death, I am
a poem itself.

Doctor, Don’t
Doctor, I don’t think
you even have a degree
to practice healing.

Exterminate! That
used all of my syllables.
Impolite Daleks.

Donna Noble, saved,
Martha Jones is fine, but what’s
happened to Clara?

David Ten-Inch
You are Barty Crouch.
I shouldn’t be attracted
to you, but I am.

The Last Centurion
You waited longer
than the girl who waited, who
waits for someone else.

Master of All
Da dum da dum da
Do you hear the drums coming?
Da dum da dum da.

Captain Jack
I mean it, really.
Anything that moves. That man
flirts with guys or girls.

Keep It PC
Is that a sonic
screwdriver in your pocket?
Are you the Doctor?

Weep, Angels
Sally Sparrow, don’t
be scared. Find the Easter Eggs,
and do not blink. Ever.

Prom Sucks Without the Doctor
“Bowties are cool,” he
promised. But he isn’t here.
The fez doesn’t match.

There are tic marks here.
And here. Did something happen?
I blinked. There’s still more.

Think you can do better? Leave some more haikus in the comments!

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