There Are Two Kinds of People In This World…I’m One of Them

I don’t like labels.

They’re itchy, difficult to cut, and always a main feature of your favorite shirt.

I don’t like labels for people, either. And when applied to people, they are not much different than clothing labels: they’re annoying, difficult to get rid of, and somehow everyone has something to say about them. Which is more in line with the subject of this blog post.

We all know there are two types of people in this world. Cat people and dog people. Pepsi people and Coke people. Mac people and PC people. People who put mustard on their hotdogs, and people who slather on ketchup. People who loved Edward Cullen from Twilight, and people who wanted to see him dead…again.

For some reason, we are obsessed with polarizing, categorizing, and segregating ourselves from other people. Most of the time, this serves us no purpose but to pass judgment for frivolous reasons. But there are also some categories that may give us some insight into ourselves and our lives, if not simply a laugh.

So, I decided to poke some fun at both kinds of people in this world by making up some of my own polarizing divisions. Some of them are rather poignant, while others are decidedly silly.

Which side are you on?

There are two kinds of people in this world…

1. People who can float in a swimming pool, and people who can’t.

2. People who love sunsets, and people who love sunrises.

3. People who eat their french fries first, and people who are wrong.

4. People who think they can wear whatever they want, and people who are right. (These are the same people.)

5. People who raise their hand in school, and people that call out the answer (also known as the people who piss off the former group.)

6. People who love Harry Potter, and muggles.

7. People who drink black coffee, and people who have no soul. (These are also the same people.)

8. People who love thunderstorms, and people who are afraid of them.

9. People whose hair looks great all the time, and people who have sold their soul to the devil. (These are the same people, yet again.)

10. People who wear sunglasses to look cool, and people who wear sunglasses to keep the sun out of their eyes.

11. People who wear belts to keep their pants up, and people who wear belts to keep their fat in. (No hate, I’m included in this…)

12. People who think that WaWa is God’s gift to mankind, and people who have no idea what I’m talking about.

13. People who have a green thumb, and people who kill anything they touch.

14. People that pat your back slightly during a hug, and people that fiercely hug you back.

15. People who think you’re a neat person, and people who won’t. (Both of these people have valid points. Try to listen to the former as much as you can, but don’t block the latter out completely.)

16. People who want to lay in an enclosure full of puppies, and people who want to lay in an enclosure full of puppies AND ducklings.

17. People who agree with you, and people who don’t. (I wish I could say that there was a middle ground of people who don’t agree with you but respect your opinion, but this is largely unheard of on the Internet.)

18. People who can french-braid their own hair, and people who have mastered witchcraft. (These are the same people. I promise, this is the last one.)

19. People that will promise you the world, and people who will promise you the world but will not deliver. (Unfortunately, sometimes these are the same people too.)

20. People who believe in magic, and people who once did but need someone to remind them.

21. People who see shapes in clouds, and people who need to look a little longer and harder.

22. People who have everything color coded and filed away, and people who are thinking right now, “Did I leave the oven on?…”

23. People who believe the world will end by fire, and people who believe the world will end by ice. (Thanks, Frost.)

24. People who think blood is cool, and people who don’t think anything when they see blood; they’ve already fainted.

25. People who love, and people who need to be loved.

And of course, if you’re anything like me, there are also occasionally three kinds of people in this world: some who can do math and some who can’t.

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