Settle Down

Guess what?

I started a new job, got engaged to my long-term boyfriend, and Friday is my birthday.

Guess I’m getting my life in order, huh? Looks like I’m settling in and settling down. Adulthood, and everything.

Right?

More like “yeah right.”

I haven’t been busier or more worried about the future. There’s so much to consider, and everything is in flux. I have calls to make and flowers to arrange. I have birthday cake and wedding cake to taste. I’m looking forward to the weekend at the same time that I don’t want to grow older.

So, I tell myself, It’ll calm down. And then I can start figuring things out. Things will settle down, and then so will I. 

Which is what I told my mom last night when we started talking about arrangements. And she classically rebutted, “But it won’t ever settle down.”

And I opened my mouth and then promptly shut it. Because she’s right. I’ve been saying this same thing for weeks upon weeks upon weeks: when this weekend is over, I’ll be able to take some time for myself. And I don’t have to tell you what happens when that weekend ends and another one begins.

So, the point tonight is really incredibly simple: you are not going to settle down to settle down. You have to go with the flow, even when the flow is really going. And if you think you should wait until you’re ready to do anything in life, then you’ll be waiting your whole life.