Wow, I Suck at This

I am off to a really great start.

I’m trying to win back the hearts and minds of the people, my readers, after being on a sort of hiatus. And what do I do on the second night back to my blog? I have a late night out with my friends, only to rush home before the midnight hour to finish my blog post in the eleventh hour. (Because, you know, BaileyDailey was conceived as this really organic brainchild where I write daily. Meaning, I don’t write daily posts before that day–it all happens at the close.) I’m sort of like a writing Cinderella, kicking my shoes off at the end of the day and fearing the gong of the clock to say another day has ended. (If only I had a fairy godmother to help me with writer’s block.)

But here I am, almost missing my second blog post of the year because of my time management skills, or my inability to write under pressure, or my uncommitment to any sort of schedule at all. (Seriously, you should see how many alarms I set to wake myself up in the morning.)

And so I’m writing this, and I can’t help thinking during it, “Wow, I really suck at this.”

I mean, this is how I find writing again? By avoiding it and shirking some made up timeline I use because it rhymes with my name? How egocentric and self-loathing at the same time!

But then, it hits me: everyone sucked at one point or another. And what’s more, is that some people still think they suck. I mean, what would have happened if J.K. Rowling wrote the first chapter of Harry Potter and was all like, in a very British accent, “This is complete rubbish!” Well, we don’t have to imagine that because she very well likely did that. All writers don’t like their first, second, or even third drafts. It’s only when they’ve beaten a manuscript into a bloody pulp (just an expression, Ms. Rowling, I’m not cursing in British) that they start to see where the light shines through the cracks.

At the end of the day, the winner is always the last person standing. Or, essentially, the person that says he or she sucks fewer times than other people have said it. So, if I say it once, and you all say it once, then all I have to do is not say it again, and we can continue on our daily journey.

Ready?

I suck at this. But I’m not going to stop until I’m better at it. So, let’s keep moving.