Don’t Say Anything

How to deal with an emotional problem in two steps:

1. Find a kind and willing (half-willing will also work) friend.

2. Let yourself rant, rage, and cry for as long as possible. In general, let it all out.

How do I deal with emotional problems?

Let all of my feelings swirl and twirl inside me and come together in a dangerous cocktail that then flows into my blood, poisons me (but I recover), and is then deposited in a black hole near my heart that just continues to grow and consume everything around it, and that will most likely be cancer in 10-12 years.

At least, this is what I think happens. And in my completely unprofessional opinion, I don’t think I’m wrong. Which is why I try to override my instincts as much as possible. Because maybe it’s our oversharing culture, but I feel like the first way, the letting it all out way, is really healthy. The crying, the deep breaths, the talking to someone: it’s cathartic. I feel like if I keep things in, they’ll just fester, like scenario B.

Well, not always.

Usually, as any person who works at a job knows (or really, anyone who is just going about their day in which they meet other humans), they feel a lot of emotions. Frustration, embarrassment, glee, weariness. And so, when they come home to their loved ones, they talk about those feelings, sometimes rather expressively.

But what they don’t realize is that this puts a lot of burden on those same loved ones. Because they feel our happiness but they also feel our stress. So, really, we may be siphoning off our feelings just to overwhelm the buckets of others.

For example, the other day, when I was really frustrated by a number of things, I felt like I was ready to explode…on someone. And I just wasn’t sure who it was going to be.

But before I did that, I lit a candle I love and put on some music, and puttered around a bit. Then, I watched television and laughed a little. But I could still feel my day bubbling up in my chest.

However, I didn’t need it to spill over. After a few hours of this, I felt resolved enough without saying anything about my day at all.

So, what is the solution? For the times when you need comfort, speak. But more often than not, what your soul needs is simply some peace and quiet.

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