Oh, Bother

Do you ever feel like you’re bothering someone? You don’t know what it is, whether it is the look in their bloodshot eyes or the tapping of their pencil that is tipping you off, but you can tell something is up? Well, what happens next? Do you take the hint and slink away, or do you keep at it until you get what you want, regardless of their glares?

What’s a person to do? Because if you’re anything like me, you may know when you’re bothering someone, but you don’t ever want it to get to that point so you just stop talking way ahead of time. And in short, this means that you pretty much don’t do anything in fear of upsetting or annoying someone, and this, in turn, means that you pretty much don’t do anything.

But I’ve suddenly found that I have to bother, nag, and remind people repeatedly of things I’ve said or done. (And this bothers me on the deepest layers of soul, see reason in previous paragraph).

Suddenly, I’m all like, the doctors’ office didn’t call me back when they said they would, I’m calling them. Usually, I avoid even calling the doctor in the first place, and now I’m actually following up on my check ups? What gives?

And then it hit me: I’m starting to have to put my own needs and responsibilities first, whereas I used to have my parents to do that for me. I’m an adult now, and adults apparently chase a lot of answers.

And that’s why it feels like I’m bothering people–because I’m used to being oblivious to whether anyone was going to answer me or not. I’m used to simply getting the answers–I’ve never been the middle man for this process. But now that I know that I need an answer to move on, I am a little more persistent, and it feels like I’m bothering people because they didn’t remember to contact me. (And technology doesn’t help the situation. “Did you read my e-mail or not…?” is how I start about half of all my e-mails and Google can obviously answer the majority of my questions).

But the point is that we’re not even really bothering each other. I mean, we all have busy lives, and most of the time, we’re just glad someone remembered to poke us about a situation, rather than starting a phone call with “Sorry about the slow response.”

In my mind, as long as it is not excessive, (I’m looking at you, car salespersons who e-mail people every day), it’s okay and even good to bother people to make sure you get what you want. In any case, when given the chance, they’ll bother you right back.

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