I’m sorry I didn’t post last night. I got laid low by a cupcake.
I have no idea what came over me. I am fully and painfully aware I am lactose intolerant. That’s probably why I thought I might scrape the cream cheese frosting off. But I’m not entirely sure what convinced me not to. (Is there such a thing as the cheese devil that tempts you into eating dairy?)
So, I ate it. And it was delicious. I mean, it was fluffy and creamy and amazing. No exaggeration — it was the best damn cupcake I ever ate.
How did it make me feel? H O R R I B L E. There was cramping and bloating and I even got a headache. I’m not sure what I thought would change between seeing that cupcake and putting in my mouth. It’s not like dietary allergies go away.
Which is why I have a very special request for you, my readers: please do not accept substitutes. Eat the thing. In all its glory. As it should be made. With the cheese. All of it.
I mean, if you want to drink almond milk to lose weight, that’s fine. But when you see a cupcake, do not eat a dairy free, soy free, gluten free cupcake unless you absolutely positively have to. Like, if that’s the last chocolate one and you really wanted chocolate, then that’s ok. Because I have to eat substitutes for my favorite foods for the rest of my life, and although I love my avocado spinach pasta recipe, it’s not pesto with Parmesan and it’s definitely not Mac and cheese. It’s not the same, and sometimes, I really notice
So, don’t accept substitutes, whatever you do. (Which is pretty good life advice in general, actually.)