Don’t Forget to Count Yourself

When I was a little kid, one of the first books I read was “The Five Fishermen.” And it was all about five fishermen who went fishing, and for some reason they had to count themselves, and the one that was doing the counting only counted 4 fishermen because he forgot to count himself.

Don’t forget to count yourself. I don’t mean when you’re fishing. But when people are giving their opinions. When you’re deciding how to live your life. When you are trying to be the most authentic you.

Without you, there is no fifth fisherman and you forfeit your place at the table.

Speak up and count yourself in.

Love,

Bailey

Sour Grapes

So I didn’t have the best day today. My dog chewed my new shoes and I got really angry. Not at her, it wasn’t her fault. Just at myself for leaving them out in the open.

And my mind did this thing where I was really angry and then I was thinking up excuses about why I wasn’t really in love with those shoes anyway.

And to some people, this may sound like sour grapes. You know, the fox can’t get the grapes so he says they are sour anyway.

But I’d like to offer a different perspective: I’d like to think that this gut reaction of my brain is a more evolved, adultier way to deal with my problems. A quiet optimism if you will.

So the next time something unfortunate befalls you, try flipping the situation around and asking why you were angry in the first place. Has something else been bothering you? What else is on your mind? Then, ask yourself, did you really need to react that way in the first place?

Try the sour grapes. They are delicious.

Love,

Bailey

Still Applause

You know that person who is always in your corner no matter what?

Today’s post goes out to them.

I’ve been thinking about followers and likes and friends and adds and everything that people base their worth off of these days.

And I’ve realized this: if you have even one person following you, think of that person clapping at what you do. They liked what you were doing so much they decided they wanted to see you do it all the time.

So even if you have one person who is clapping, who is following your work, and I don’t mean just on social media. I mean, in life. If there is even one person that says you are doing a good job, then that’s all you need to keep going.

Even if that first person is your mom. Like mine.

Besides, one person clapping is still applause.

Love,

Bailey

People Change

The comedian John Mulaney has this great quote: “Fourteen years ago, I smoked cocaine the night before my college graduation. Now I’m afraid to get a flu shot. People change.”

And so on my 15 year anniversary dating my husband (married for 2) and because we’ve now been together more than half our lives, I want to detail some ways that I’ve changed:

Since 15 years ago, I am indeed older, but not therefore, wiser

15 years ago, I was incredibly shy, now I’m just shy with a talking streak

15 years ago, I wanted to be a nun and now I have a husband (who isn’t Jesus but takes care of me all the same)

15 years ago, I wanted to be a poet and wait tables to earn a living, now I don’t write poems anymore and I’m not so sure what kind of life I want to live

15 years ago, I thought nothing will ever change, now I think nothing will ever stay the same

And that’s okay. Because people change all the time. Our cells change every 7 years. So, if you don’t like this reality, just start over. Change for the good, or change for the bad. Just don’t stay stagnant.

Oh. Also, I love you Tim.

Love,

Bailey

Who Rescued Who?

I just recently adopted a dog. Her name is Sheila and she’s a pitbull. She’s also the most loving and kind spirit that I have ever met. She’s been through a lot so I want to make her life easier.

But so far she’s been making my life easier.

She’s taught me that:

  1. To take breaks often, usually by laying in the sunshine
  2. If you portion your meals and walk twice a day you’ll lose weight
  3. Being excited to see the people you love never gets old
  4. A little company goes a long way

She’s taught me all that in a month! What has your pet taught you about life?

Pictures if you have them!

Love,

Bailey

Explode Your Life

There’s this really funny line in my favorite show at the moment, The Good Place, where Maya Rudolph is an all-knowing judge and she visits Earth for a short period of time and deems it unsalvageable.

Her words, not mine, are that she’d like to explode it and start over. (Sorry, spoilers.) Start over from amoebas and see where that takes us.

And today, it feels like a possibility. There’s just so much heartache and pain and if aliens came down right now to terminate the whole Earth, I wouldn’t even blink. I would just say, to everyone around me, “I told you so.” And then I would lie down and wait for the aliens to cull me.

So, in lieu of aliens, and violence of ANY kind, I’d like to encourage you to explode your life. Even just a little bit. Just decimate a part of your life and start over. May it be your self-doubt or toxic relationships, but it could be anything.

Just say to yourself, I’m done with this and imagine it is blown to smithereens. So, you can move on from someone or from a job or from an idea in your head. Just let it explode and sweep up the pieces. But don’t forget to start over. That’s the best part.

I wish you all the best in exploding your life. May you build bridges as fast you burn them.

Love,

Bailey

Dear Brides on their Wedding Day

My sister is getting married this weekend in a small ceremony that uses social distancing and some homemade touches.

And I know this is not the wedding day she planned. Or even the Plan B. And I know right now it’s hard to have anything happy in these times in which nobody feels like celebrating.

But this is my message to brides:

Hold on to this moment. Even amidst the pain and confusion. Even amidst the virus and the pandemic. Even amidst the peace and the justice.

This is not the moment you wanted. It’s not the moment you planned. But it is your moment. And it is as good as any to breathe in happiness and exhale negativity. And that’s all you need to get married. You just need a moment to reach out and take your happiness.

I hope you recognize it for the precious moment it is. Whether you are surrounded by hundreds of people or just a few. Whether it is in your backyard or at a fancy wedding venue. Whether you are writing your vows or taking age-old ones.

You are marrying the person you love. And nothing can take that from you.

Love,

Bailey

Your Story

You know when you’re in a bookstore and you pick up a book and realize it’s very similar to one you’ve read before.

Well, I hate to be the one to tell you but there’s very little originality in this world anymore. Everything is so yesterday, having been done before and many times at that.

But there is one thing that will keep you from diving down the hole of depression on this one: it’s you.

You have never written your story.

And it will be unique, and wonderful, and something that the world has never seen before.

Because it will be yours.

In the narrative of this country and this life, do not forget to write your own story. This is your chance to make it what you want. Never mind that everyone is doing something similar. Your voice will stand out.

It always has.

Love,

Bailey

Your Mind is a Garden

I said what I said.

Your mind is a garden. You can fill it up with anything you want. Peonies, hydrangeas, sunflowers, vegetables. And you can rain down sunshine and water and let the flowers bloom.

Or you can weed and weed widely. You can pull things out by the roots so that they never appear again. You can spread mulch so that you never have to weed again.

This is all up to you. You plant the goodness and you root out the evil in your mind.

So if you’re wondering what you can do to help the BLM movement. Think about doing some planting. Or some watering. For the ideas that we need. Or rooting out some bias.

It’s your call.

Love,

Bailey

Speechless

I muted my social media account that is linked to this blog for one week in support of the Black Lives Matter movement. But now that it is time to go back to my normal posting schedule, I’m a little bit speechless.

What do you say to a nation of people that have been hurting since this country came into being?

What do you say to people that tell you you’re just wrong for being who you are?

What do you say to a people that have nothing left to give but still have to fight?

You don’t say anything. You learn and you listen.

And a lot of people will say, Bailey you don’t write anything political on your blog. You just want to be a light and a source of good.

And I say to them, this isn’t a political issue. It’s a human issue.

So while I am still posting, I will still be learning and listening. I will be posting resources on my social media page for this blog, @baileydaileywrites so feel free to follow me there.

Be safe and be well.

Love,

Bailey