So, I guess it’s song lyric week on baileydailey. But here we go …
If you’ve been a long-time baileydailey reader, you know that I commute on the train. And I see people doing everything:
Listening to music/podcasts, putting on make up, perusing magazines, reading books, talking to their neighbors, playing games on their phones, typing up reports, writing posts on social media, shopping online.
But do you know what I don’t see? At all? Anyone doing nothing at all. Just being. Just being human beings.
Actually, I see it so infrequently that people get weirded out if I’m not doing something. If I’m just sitting, looking out the window, people don’t sit next to me. Like I might just strike up a conversation, goodness forbid. Like I’m a leper for not staring at my phone. Like a normal human being should.
So, here’s your friendly reminder to just be. Be a human. And don’t worry about doing something every moment of every day. You have my permission to just be alive.
I forgot my breakfast and my lunch at home today.
I also forgot my wallet so buying food was out of the question.
And instead of heaving a deep sigh and cursing my forgetfulness, I thought, “the universe is abundant. It will share its wealth with me.” And then I sprouted wings and flew directly into the sun.
Of course I didn’t do that! What, am I some sort of deity who is immune to self-blame? I was livid with myself. A full day of work ahead of me and I couldn’t even remember to pack a few crackers? What’s wrong with me?
But I was really blessed by the universe. Maybe it’s all the millennials that work with me, but there’s always free food at my office. And I was provided with enough sustenance to make it through the day just on free food alone.
And I can’t speak for you, but sometimes you get what you want. And other, more rarer times, you get what you need. And I know, I know, it’s corny and on such a small scale that it’s almost silly. But I got what I needed on a day that nothing seemed to be going right. And I couldn’t be more grateful for that.
What are you grateful for today?
You know? It’s not the end of the world.
Even though it seems that way. Floods. Hurricanes. Donald Trump as President. Donald Trump being listened to. Donald Trump existing.
But it isn’t the end of the world. And you should remember that. Because in your darkest times, it’s important to remember that even though a problem seems big, as long as you’re breathing, you can get through it.
It’s not the end. It’s just a really hard part. You’ll get through it. Just keep going.
Oh, and don’t worry. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.
If you’re like me, there are just some days you feel like a cosmic joke. Take this, for example: I was a double major in English/Communications. During my college career, I did nothing but write and talk and explain and yup, you guessed it, communicate.
But there’s this great irony to me. Because I don’t like to talk. About myself, about the weather, about anything. I love a good conversation, as long as I can be the listening piece.
So, I have this weird dilemma that I’ve studied and practiced and worked on communicating with other people, but I never really got good at it. (At least to my own ears.)
Ordering off a menu makes me sweat into a puddle. Getting a phone call I wasn’t expecting is pure torture. Small talk makes me cringe all over.
But I think that’s a good lesson. Even if something is very hard for you, it doesn’t mean that you can’t do it. It just takes extra practice, extra concentration. And one day, it’ll come naturally.
So, let’s practice. How are you?
Do you ever wish you had a superpower? Invisibility? Ability to fly? Telepathy?
So, maybe you don’t have a superpower. But what about something you’re good at? A passion. Maybe you sing. Maybe you draw. Maybe you dance.
Me? I write. Which is basically what was in Pandora’s box when they let all the demons: its hope.
Like: I hope I get a career in writing. I hope I can write a book someday. I hope someone is reading this.
Yeah, it’s not the best superpower or the best passion. You can’t go on a competition show and write your way to fame and fortune. (You can write a mean birthday card for your friend, though.)
But it’s mine. And most days, I love writing. It’s when I’m not writing that I hate it.
So, write on. Dance on. Sing on. Draw on.
Live and love your passion.
I pass a lot of the homeless on my way to work. And you’d have to have a heart of stone to not at least feel bad, even if you do just walk by them.
But today, one lady was making it really hard to walk by her. She was rattling a can of change and calling out to people on the street, imploring them, “every little bit helps! Every little bit helps!”
And as I walked by she said it again: “every little bit helps! Even just a smile!”
And that stopped me in my tracks. Because I wish I could tell you that I walked back and gave her some change.
I didn’t. I kept walking. But a smile did creep onto my face, one that only I could see, and as is the case with smiles, it did make me honestly feel better. It was so much preferable to the sour expression I was displaying originally.
And like the woman said, even a smile helps. It helps you, and it helps the people around you.
So go ahead and smile. I can guarantee that you have at least one thing to smile about.
I saw this awesome quote this weekend: “you can’t fill someone else up if your cup is empty.” And while this isn’t a new theme that I’m bringing to baileydailey, I think it bears repeating (and repeating and repeating.)
You can’t help others if you don’t help yourself. So take time out at least one day a week to do absolutely nothing or something for yourself.
And if you really have a hard time rationalizing that “selfish” action, think of the cup. Tell yourself that it’s your duty — to everyone else. (Sometimes that’s the only way I can do it.)
So, fill your cup. If only to drain it again.
Have you ever tried to start a new habit or routine? To get healthier? Did it sound like this?
Okay, Debra, this is your last donut for awhile. You’re getting mighty pudgy and you could go for a walk every night instead of eating donuts in the middle of the afternoon. So, this is it. This is where we draw the line.
And how’d it go? Did you stick with that habit? Did you stop eating donuts? Did you go for more walks?
Probably not. Do you know why?
Because when you do something out of hate, it doesn’t work as well. If you’re trying to punish yourself by not eating donuts, you’re going to eventually rebel and give yourself a “treat.” (Which, folks, you won’t be surprised to know, is another donut.)
So, what should you do? You should start doing something out of a place of love. Like this:
Okay, Debra, you feel so much better when you don’t eat donuts in the afternoon. You’ve been looking great too so let’s keep it up. I just want you to feel good.
And I bet you won’t eat as many donuts, Debra. Because you’ll feel like you’re being kind to yourself. I promise – you’ll be so much more successful when what you do is out of love for yourself, not hate.
Don’t you think it’s weird how we measure time? How we kill time? How we make it fly?
Don’t worry; I won’t break out into 525,600 minutes. (Unless you want me to.)
But I just think it’s strange that when I’m bored a single minute seems like an hour. But when I’m engaged, time is an object.
So, here are some other ways to tell time (and how slow or fast time goes):
Put on old clothes. (Fast)
Go out with one of your best friends. (Fast)
Take a shower. (Slow)
Being at work on a Friday. (Slow)
The point is that however we measure time, we have to be grateful for every minute. Because one day, we’ll wish for more time, slow or fast.
Tonight, I want to share a simple message:
Thank you for allowing me to come home and unwind from my day with my favorite activity: writing. Thank you for every like or comment you’ve ever made on this blog. Thanks for all of the follows, and thank you for telling others about this blog (hint, hint.)
But most of all, thank you for being you. It has been my sincerest pleasure to be “liked” by you.