There’s a lot to be said about walking a mile in someone else’s shoes. In learning more about them by seeing life from their perspective.
But there’s something else to be said about viewing life from your own perspective.
You would do good to remember that what you think is just as valuable as what someone else thinks (am I the only one that needs this reminder?)
And by that principle, you should think the world of yourself. Have confidence. Because no one is just like you and no one has your exact perspective. We all bring something different to the table, even if we don’t always feel like it.
So, don’t be afraid to be fully in your skin, and to see life from your own unique perspective. You are who you think you are, not who you’d rather be. And from my perspective, you’re all pretty great.
Do you remember your first rejection? Was it a boyfriend/girlfriend? Was it from a college? What about not making your high school soccer tryouts?
Sorry for bringing up ill feelings. But I’d be willing to bet that you wouldn’t trade your life right now for the world, eh? You wouldn’t go back in time and fix that rejection because what’s done is done. And it’s made you the person that you are today.
That’s why in life rejection is really just a redirection (I didn’t make this up, but I wish I had). It’s a good reminder that just because we didn’t get where we wanted to be doesn’t mean we’re not where we need to be. Every time you get rejected by something or someone, you’re being pushed in the direction of where your real life begins.
So don’t get upset if you’re rejected. Get excited that you’re that much closer to where you want to be. Or at least, be happy that you’re not the biggest loser in the universe, even though you may feel like it.
I’m about to let you in on a little secret of mine (which I most likely have talked about before).
When I was younger, I believed in one certain truth that served me pretty well and was reinforced by all of the fairy tales I read:
“Good things will happen, and so will bad. Bad things will happen, and so will good. If you wait long enough, you’ll get them both, one after the other. So much so, you can depend on it.” So one good thing will happen…and then it is followed by a bad thing. And a bad thing will happen…and it is followed by a good thing. And so on and so on and so on. Until you live your entire life, waiting for the fog to roll in on a sunshiney day, and for the rain to clear on a stormy day. You’re always waiting for the next thing or hoping it doesn’t happen.
But I’ve realized that this is such an unrealistic way to live. It doesn’t matter if one moment is good or bad. It’s the moment that you’re living in, that you’re experiencing, that you’re discovering. And waiting for it to pass or having sadness when it does, is no way to live life. Just passing through your day is no way to live life. You need to thrive, and treasure every moment – not just the really good ones – and not cast away any one moment – like the really bad ones.
So, it’s true what they say – “if you’re going through hell, keep going.” But don’t worry about the hellscape you’re traveling through or coming from. Try to focus on the warmth of the flames every once in awhile. Your life will be better for it.
I think it’s really easy sometimes to go with the flow. To think everything is going to work out. That if you just pray/wish/want hard enough, then it’ll all be to your satisfaction.
But I’m here to remind you that the Knight didn’t get the princess by wishing she was there. He did something – he climbed the back wall/tower/gate and rescued the princess from the dragon/evil stepmother/her fate.
And I’d also like to point out that sometimes, the princess can save herself. And that’s important to remember too. Because if you don’t see your knight anywhere and he’s not on the horizon, then it’s probably you.
So you want your happily ever after? Get up and save yourself. Or call your knight. Just do something.
I’m sorry (not sorry) that I didn’t post last night. I was too busy being kind to myself.
My body said I was tired, and for once in my life, I listened to my body and I obeyed. And now I feel better.
So every now and again, you should listen to what your body needs, not what your mind is telling you you should be doing. It’s easy. Take a few deep breaths and open your ears. Your body won’t be shy.
So, what is your body telling you?
Thanks to the little girls at the back of the school bus who smiled and waved and cracked up when I waved back and who I followed for a good 20 minutes (only because they were going where I was going–not in a creepy way.)
You made my day. And you’ll never know it.
Someone’s smile or kind word can make your whole day but you don’t have to let them know. It’s sort of special; it’s like a secret you share with that other person, except they don’t know.
But sometimes, you should let people know if they’ve made your day. People feel worthless on the best day. Don’t forget to remind them that they’re here for a reason, however small it may be.
Don’t worry kids. If you wave at me, I’ll always wave back.
I’ve been feeling pretty creatively stunted lately. So I’m going to try to get out of this word funk with a poem:
Am I Alone?
Am I alone in thinking
That Friday is a feeling more than it’s
A day of the week? Because I’ve been
Feeling like a Friday and the date is the thirteenth.
Am I alone in wondering what happens to me next?
Or does the beating in my chest decide what I do is best?
Am I truly alone in a forest when no one is around?
Or is the only time I’ll be alone is when I’m underground?
Am I alone in thinking all these thoughts with no one to hear?
Or is it thinking that estranges me and feeds on my fear?
Am I alone in all of this or is there someone just like me?
Who laughs, who screams, who weeps and writes all of this bad poetry?
Is there someone, anyone, who will help me feel at home?
Come to me, any time, and I’ll make you feel less alone.
People always say that others are fighting hard battles and you should be kind to everyone you meet, even if they’re rude.
And I think that’s correct. But I think it could use some editing. Everyone’s facing a hard battle every day and everyone is just trying to get home safely.
We’re all just trying to get through our day so that we can go home and see our loved ones or spend time with people we enjoy.
So if you’re commute is a terror, remember that everyone is trying to get home safely. If someone is particularly rude, they probably would just rather be at home. And if you forget that everyone is fighting a hard battle, at least try to remember that they’d like to get home safely to pet their cats and dogs, to eat the food they bought, and sit on the couches and be comfortable.
Everyone, at the end of the day, just wants to be comfortable.
We’ve all been told no before. And undoubtedly, we’ve been told not to take no for an answer (right after).
But what kind of psychopath knocks on the door that slams in your face, five seconds later? Isn’t insanity defined as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the different results?
I get it, now in my old age, more than ever. If you want something done or want something at all, you have to be persistent. You have to keep going, and following up, and reminding, and asking, and checking boxes. And that can be really hard when you’re a timid shy woman who would rather die from starvation than place an order for food on the phone.
But it’s worth it. I promise. You should learn how to persist. It’s the hardest thing you may learn, but it’s the only way to keep going in life.
So practice persistence everyday. And speak up when you can. Even if your voice shakes and you want the floor to swallow you up directly after.
Never underestimate the power of a hug.
I got one yesterday, quite unexpectedly, and it turned my whole day around. It felt like all the stress and tension just melted away.
And while I’m not saying you should run around your office demanding hugs, it is always nice to simply acknowledge people when you like what they’re doing.
It’s simple. But it matters.