If It Makes You Happy

then it can’t be that baaaaad!

Okay, Sheryl Crow aside, it can be pretty easy to feel guilty about some things in these difficult times.

It’s all: why am I eating that and why am I not doing anything and I’ve read this book/watched this movie 1,000 times…why am I doing that?

And the answer is: it probably makes you happy. And happiness is so hard to find in these times that in some ways, it probably doesn’t matter why you’re doing it. If you can find some pleasure in it instead of sadness, or anger, or apathy then there’s probably a good reason for you to do it again.

And if it’s the simple reason that it happens to make you happy, then why not?

Reach for the simple and good things during this time. It can sometimes be all we have.




Do you know what real irony is?

When you grow up as a budding theater major, who had little to no problem getting up in front of her closest peers and reciting Shakespeare, and winning competitions, no less…

And then having to get up in front of a small group of people to give a work presentation and basically going out wicked witch of the west style into a melted puddle of embarrassment…

What is the deal? Where do I get my adult card punched so that I can get up in front of people and speak? Why is it so different from making a PowerPoint to baring my soul through literature?

I wish this was easier and I didn’t care so much. But if I didn’t care, what would be the point at all?

My definition of irony is acting apathetic when it actually means the world to you. So don’t be afraid to go down swinging. Just giving it everything you have will yield your best results, even if you could care less.

A World of Opinions 

Let’s get political for a second. 

I don’t care what you think of Trump.  Wait, I mean Drumpf. (Unless you think he has great ideas. Then I care what you think. Because you’re wrong about that, and you’re probably wrong about other things too.) 

But again, whatever you think of Trump, you have to admit that he’s eliminated apathy in this election. It’s difficult for people to look away, let alone not have an opinion on who should be our next president. Everyone will vote because they can’t afford not to. 

Which is strange for a person who doesn’t have much of an opinion about anything. Because I really don’t. My only opinions? Any one who harms animals should receive the death penalty and that avocado can be eaten on anything. Everything else doesn’t really warrant my opinion. And that gets me into a lot of weirdness. Because it’s hard to really get to know someone who just nods and agrees. 

But that could be changing. We now live in a world where not only are opinions everywhere, people can actually tell you that your opinions are wrong. (Like I pretty much did at the beginning of this post.)

So, what’s a girl with no opinions supposed to do? Well, I guess I’ll start to form them by getting informed. But it is something that needs to be done. Because I believe that the election won’t be the last thing that will polarize the nation in the next few years. And hopefully, that will be a good thing. Because when people have strong opinions, they do something about them. And if the world is going to hell in a hand basket, I want to have an opinion about how it’s going down. 

When Was the Last Time I Was on Fire?

Sitting in English class, I always thought that inspiration came from the outside.

For example, Poe had a dark life, experienced plenty of death, and drank a lot. So, he produced material that reflected that. And Hawthorne. He was so ashamed of his family’s legacy in the Salem Witch Trials that he changed the spelling of his name and wrote about the shunning of a young female by the Puritan community. Or my man, Joyce. His home country of Ireland was a constant point of contention and inspiration, even if he had to slip his rage in between the lines.

And for most of my life, this conclusion has proved true. Inspiration really can come from anywhere, so it is important to keep an open mind while walking along the street or taking a road trip.

But enter me into adulthood. It’s Groundhog’s day everyday. I go to work, I come home, I eat, I go to bed, and I do that five times a week. And I don’t have to tell you that it’s really hard to create something when you are just trying to get through a work week. Sort of like singing into a black hole.

For a while, I just didn’t get it. How did people express themselves artistically when they were being numbed by a daily routine? Where did people find the time to search for inspiration in the mundane? When would I climb out of my own apathy?

And most importantly, could I remember the last time I felt like I was on fire? Because inspiration is like that. You’re burning up with a fever, and you’re working up a sweat, but you’re warm all over. You’re suddenly not just alive, you are thriving.

And then it hit me. If you can’t be set on fire from the outside, it’s going to have to come within.

You see, inspiration really is on the inside already. What you experience while living life may help you to trigger something, but that’s only because the potential was there before. You’ve got the tinder and the spark.

So, the next time that you are worried that inspiration hasn’t struck, writer’s block has been lodged, and you’re out of ideas, set yourself on fire (SO METAPHORICALLY). Light the wick inside and shine brightly. You’re only one match away from a masterpiece.