Kicking When You’re Down

Today wasn’t a shining moment in my history.

I made an error, and I got really mad at myself for making it.

But the thing is, I already felt bad about the error. And then, on top of that, I was angry about making it.

But this is like when someone kicks when you’re down. Or beating a dead horse. Or insert your own violent metaphor here.

It doesn’t do anything to pile on the blame on yourself when you already feel bad. It actually hurts the situation because then you’ll feel like you can’t do anything right and you become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Take a deep breath. Learn from your mistakes. And move on.

Oh, and having a really supportive partner doesn’t hurt things either.

Love,

Bailey

You’ll Never

Never is a hard word to swallow or say.

But I can guarantee you this one thing: you’ll never be as pretty as the super model selling things to you.

No matter what you buy, no matter what you try.

And I want you to sit in that pain for a minute… and then realize that you’re not going to look like that super model because you are too busy looking like you.

And what a wonderful thing that is.

So, be yourself, above all else. You can still do it with the make-up, dress, bra, workout routine, that you found online.

But be you while you are doing it.

Love,

Bailey

Box It Up

Does it feel like for anyone else that someone opened Pandora’s box in 2020 and everything flew out? Like we should put everything in a box having to do with 2020 and just push it off a cliff and start over?

Well, to me it has. It feels like I’m boxing up emotions, old memories and shipping them out.

Because despite what they will say about 2020, hope was still left in that box.

I see it on people’s faces during the protests. I see it in people’s eyes, above their masks.

It’s there. All you have to do is look for it.

Love,

Bailey

Rewritten

I think I’ve rewritten this blog post three different times.

I can’t seem to find the words today. But what I like about blog writing is what I like about living.

There’s always a chance to start over.

From minute to minute, you are a changing person with differing views as you take in new information. It’s okay if you change with the flow too.

Don’t hold yourself back and don’t hold yourself in. Rewrite your story as many times as you like until it’s something you well…like.

Love,

Bailey

Feel Good

My dog was abused before she came to us and even after a month of spoiling, she’s still a little skittish.

So I consider it a real win when I pet her and she closes her eyes in delight. It feels so good that she can’t help but trust me and go to sleep.

Sometimes, I think we just need to do what feels good to us. Like eating chocolate every once in awhile. Or going to sleep early or late. Or watching a movie or show just because we like it.

Close your eyes and think about something that makes you close your eyes and relish. Then go do that thing.

Life can be short and sweet if we still have a mind to do what we want every once in awhile.

Love,

Bailey

I Don’t Know If I Can Wait That Long

We’ve all done a lot of waiting lately.

Waiting for things to open up, waiting for justice to be served, waiting for our year, our world to be better.

Waiting, waiting, waiting.

And I’m sick of waiting, sure. But that doesn’t mean I will stop taking care of myself, speaking out, and generally trying to make a better life.

But it does teach us once critical lesson: patience.

Even when the sun is shining and the weather is good, even when the conditions are right and everyone’s paying attention, even when it was “supposed” to be a good year.

It doesn’t mean that we won’t still wait for what’s to come.

But the best things (I hope) come to those who wait.

Love,

Bailey

Don’t Forget to Count Yourself

When I was a little kid, one of the first books I read was “The Five Fishermen.” And it was all about five fishermen who went fishing, and for some reason they had to count themselves, and the one that was doing the counting only counted 4 fishermen because he forgot to count himself.

Don’t forget to count yourself. I don’t mean when you’re fishing. But when people are giving their opinions. When you’re deciding how to live your life. When you are trying to be the most authentic you.

Without you, there is no fifth fisherman and you forfeit your place at the table.

Speak up and count yourself in.

Love,

Bailey

Sour Grapes

So I didn’t have the best day today. My dog chewed my new shoes and I got really angry. Not at her, it wasn’t her fault. Just at myself for leaving them out in the open.

And my mind did this thing where I was really angry and then I was thinking up excuses about why I wasn’t really in love with those shoes anyway.

And to some people, this may sound like sour grapes. You know, the fox can’t get the grapes so he says they are sour anyway.

But I’d like to offer a different perspective: I’d like to think that this gut reaction of my brain is a more evolved, adultier way to deal with my problems. A quiet optimism if you will.

So the next time something unfortunate befalls you, try flipping the situation around and asking why you were angry in the first place. Has something else been bothering you? What else is on your mind? Then, ask yourself, did you really need to react that way in the first place?

Try the sour grapes. They are delicious.

Love,

Bailey

Still Applause

You know that person who is always in your corner no matter what?

Today’s post goes out to them.

I’ve been thinking about followers and likes and friends and adds and everything that people base their worth off of these days.

And I’ve realized this: if you have even one person following you, think of that person clapping at what you do. They liked what you were doing so much they decided they wanted to see you do it all the time.

So even if you have one person who is clapping, who is following your work, and I don’t mean just on social media. I mean, in life. If there is even one person that says you are doing a good job, then that’s all you need to keep going.

Even if that first person is your mom. Like mine.

Besides, one person clapping is still applause.

Love,

Bailey

People Change

The comedian John Mulaney has this great quote: “Fourteen years ago, I smoked cocaine the night before my college graduation. Now I’m afraid to get a flu shot. People change.”

And so on my 15 year anniversary dating my husband (married for 2) and because we’ve now been together more than half our lives, I want to detail some ways that I’ve changed:

Since 15 years ago, I am indeed older, but not therefore, wiser

15 years ago, I was incredibly shy, now I’m just shy with a talking streak

15 years ago, I wanted to be a nun and now I have a husband (who isn’t Jesus but takes care of me all the same)

15 years ago, I wanted to be a poet and wait tables to earn a living, now I don’t write poems anymore and I’m not so sure what kind of life I want to live

15 years ago, I thought nothing will ever change, now I think nothing will ever stay the same

And that’s okay. Because people change all the time. Our cells change every 7 years. So, if you don’t like this reality, just start over. Change for the good, or change for the bad. Just don’t stay stagnant.

Oh. Also, I love you Tim.

Love,

Bailey