The Gift of Gab

They say that if you kiss the Blarney Stone, you get the gift of gab – you can talk to anyone about anything.

But what no one tells you about the Blarney Stone is that it is on a ledge on the outside of a castle wall. So if you want to smooch it, you need to have the gift of courage too.

Why? Because in order to kiss it, you have to lay down and thrust yourself out into the open air. And if you’re anything like me, you’ll get so much momentum from the slick conditions that you’ll smash your lips and almost knock out your teeth – which has the added irony that you won’t be able to speak and have the gift of gab if you lose all your teeth.

But in the end, I️ didn’t have to worry. Because I️ never got the gift of gab. I️ have a terrible time taking to people. It takes everything in me to marshal my thoughts and to get out the word, “hi.” But other people don’t have this problem! They talk about anything they feel like. They talk to fill the silence. They talk whether you’re listening or not.

And maybe that’s why the world always has two people – talkers and listeners. But I️ can’t stop feeling like I️ got a raw deal. I️ still wish that I️ could have received the gift of gab that day – instead of a sore lip. But no one tells you that getting the gift of gab is about as hard as using it.