Okay, everyone. It’s the end of January. And if you haven’t fallen off of your resolutions horse yet, I bet you’re thinking about it.
I know I am.
I came across this great quote, “nothing changes if nothing changes” and I can’t stop thinking about how true it is. If you don’t change, then your situation doesn’t change either.
Or along the same lines, “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Change starts with you. You don’t even necessarily have to want change before you have it. You just have to start.
Whether or not you actually believe in them, I think it is still worthy to write down things that you want to do this year. Even if you abandon them by February, at least you have a goal.
1. Write more
2. Lose weight
3. Learn a language
4. Be more assertive
5. Be more grateful
What are yours?
Do you remember your first rejection? Was it a boyfriend/girlfriend? Was it from a college? What about not making your high school soccer tryouts?
Sorry for bringing up ill feelings. But I’d be willing to bet that you wouldn’t trade your life right now for the world, eh? You wouldn’t go back in time and fix that rejection because what’s done is done. And it’s made you the person that you are today.
That’s why in life rejection is really just a redirection (I didn’t make this up, but I wish I had). It’s a good reminder that just because we didn’t get where we wanted to be doesn’t mean we’re not where we need to be. Every time you get rejected by something or someone, you’re being pushed in the direction of where your real life begins.
So don’t get upset if you’re rejected. Get excited that you’re that much closer to where you want to be. Or at least, be happy that you’re not the biggest loser in the universe, even though you may feel like it.
I think it’s really easy sometimes to go with the flow. To think everything is going to work out. That if you just pray/wish/want hard enough, then it’ll all be to your satisfaction.
But I’m here to remind you that the Knight didn’t get the princess by wishing she was there. He did something – he climbed the back wall/tower/gate and rescued the princess from the dragon/evil stepmother/her fate.
And I’d also like to point out that sometimes, the princess can save herself. And that’s important to remember too. Because if you don’t see your knight anywhere and he’s not on the horizon, then it’s probably you.
So you want your happily ever after? Get up and save yourself. Or call your knight. Just do something.
I’ve been feeling pretty creatively stunted lately. So I’m going to try to get out of this word funk with a poem:
Am I Alone?
Am I alone in thinking
That Friday is a feeling more than it’s
A day of the week? Because I’ve been
Feeling like a Friday and the date is the thirteenth.
Am I alone in wondering what happens to me next?
Or does the beating in my chest decide what I do is best?
Am I truly alone in a forest when no one is around?
Or is the only time I’ll be alone is when I’m underground?
Am I alone in thinking all these thoughts with no one to hear?
Or is it thinking that estranges me and feeds on my fear?
Am I alone in all of this or is there someone just like me?
Who laughs, who screams, who weeps and writes all of this bad poetry?
Is there someone, anyone, who will help me feel at home?
Come to me, any time, and I’ll make you feel less alone.
Sorry about the ghost post last night. I️ was feeling mildly ill, like a cold was coming on, and I️ couldn’t keep my eyes open. So instead of posting, I️ went to bed.
Because I️ was sick and tired. And not just of the oncoming cold – I️ was sick and tired of the routine. Get up, go to work, come home, eat my feelings, sleep off the day. Bad habits on a hamster wheel.
And it’s exactly because I️ was sick and tired that I️ decided to make a change. Especially with my eating routine. I️ actually didn’t eat anything I️ was allergic to this week. Which is crazy, because I’m allergic to most things at this point.
But I️ just think it’s funny that when you’re at your wit’s end, when you’re fed up, when you’re sick and tired, that’s when you’re at the best point to make a change. To do something about your situation. To be a better person.
So if you’re sick and tired, don’t give up. Just get up and make a change.
Have you ever tried to start a new habit or routine? To get healthier? Did it sound like this?
Okay, Debra, this is your last donut for awhile. You’re getting mighty pudgy and you could go for a walk every night instead of eating donuts in the middle of the afternoon. So, this is it. This is where we draw the line.
And how’d it go? Did you stick with that habit? Did you stop eating donuts? Did you go for more walks?
Probably not. Do you know why?
Because when you do something out of hate, it doesn’t work as well. If you’re trying to punish yourself by not eating donuts, you’re going to eventually rebel and give yourself a “treat.” (Which, folks, you won’t be surprised to know, is another donut.)
So, what should you do? You should start doing something out of a place of love. Like this:
Okay, Debra, you feel so much better when you don’t eat donuts in the afternoon. You’ve been looking great too so let’s keep it up. I just want you to feel good.
And I bet you won’t eat as many donuts, Debra. Because you’ll feel like you’re being kind to yourself. I promise – you’ll be so much more successful when what you do is out of love for yourself, not hate.
Exercising is hard.
Your brain says, "what are you doing to me? My body is out of breath, my muscles are sore, and you just keep…going? Are you trying to kill us?"
And you would love to just stop. Because why torture yourself like this?
But you don't. You take another step. And another and another. And suddenly, you're at the finish line. Even when you thought you couldn't, you still can.
Repeat as necessary with any obstacle in your path or your life.
The brain is a difficult muscle. It's difficult to convince, but if you don't stop, you may just find that you'll succeed. As log as you ignore that little voice that says "not right now" or "I can't."
Even when you think you didn't have any more to give, you do. Wring out every last drop, and you'll do amazing things.
If a genie were rubbed out of one of my lamps at home tomorrow, and he materializes in smoke and grants me three wishes, I would wish for a lot of happiness, a lot of money, and a lot of puppies. (That is, if I couldn't wish for more wishes.)
But if I had a fourth wish, I would wish that I was someone else entirely. New hair. New face. New attitude.
Because most days, I'm frustrated by myself. I'm shy, I'm weird, and I'm self conscious. And it's not cute, like a misfit in a teen movie.
But I'm starting to realize that I should never waste a wish on being someone else. Because I was put on this earth to be me. It would be a crime of the universe to be anyone else. And it's time that I recognized that whatever I am, I have to love me.
So bring on the happiness, money, and puppies. I promise to be careful what I wish for.
I had a HUGE revelation today.
I’m all about pursuing your passions. All for it.
Except when it comes to quitting your day job.
I know, I know. Big risk, big reward. But there’s something keeping you back from starting all over and pursuing your passion isn’t there? (Yes, Bailey. It’s my crippling student debt.) Okay, fair.
But ask yourself — is your passion something you LIKE to do? Or are you truly interested and curious about it?
Because that’s what keeps me back from writing full time. One, because I love my blog and I don’t want to hate it because I have to rely on it to give me money. But two, and more importantly, I’m not curious about writing. I don’t want to learn about it. I just want to do it. It comes natural to me. And like most writers, I’m an egotist and I think I’ve learned everything I possibly can about writing. I’ll learn as I go.
But what am I truly curious about? Science. I am interested in science. I love listening to podcasts about any kind of science, but mostly anatomy. I get truly excited about listening to how the human body works. I hung on every word of a woman who described how she became allergic to meat. And it’s only taken me until recently to realize that I have a passion for science, but I have a love for writing.
The difference is that I can keep one as my mistress, and the other one keeps me up at night. (I’ll let you decide which is which.)
But the point is that when I stopped to think about it, I realized I could love what I do and still not be passionate about it. Just because I love writing doesn’t mean that I need to exorcise my soul to produce it. Sometimes, quitting your day job still doesn’t mean you are fulfilled.