Tag: choices

When Life Catches Up with You

Bailey GunnLeave a comment

Everyone vaguely knows of the possibility of parallel universes. (Basically, parallel versions of our selves [based on the decisions we’ve made] are living parallel versions of our lives.) So, that one time when you zigged instead of zagged? There’s a version of yourself out there that is actually living the life in which you zagged instead of zigged, and so on.

And if that’s possible, I think it’s also possible that once in awhile, your life matches up with a parallel life, which no longer becomes parallel, and so becomes your exact life. (Still following?)

I also have another theory. I believe that sometimes you’re let in on the secret. Sometimes, you get signs that you’ve linked up with one of your parallel lives and are actually on the path that you’re “meant” to be on.

In general, these “signs” go by many names. Maybe just coincidences, as I’ve discussed. And maybe in the form of deja vu, when you feel as though you’ve been some place before, but can’t remember any of the exact details of it. In these terms, I think perhaps your parallel self has been there, and you are just sort of “lapping” him or her, so to speak.

But I think when it gets really weird for me is when I’m paying close attention to it.

So, picture me going about my daily life. And since I am not Hermione Granger, I don’t know everything about everything. In some cases, I learn about things that I’ve never even heard of before while out and about.

It happens like this: Let’s say for example that I’ve been living under a rock and I didn’t know what an armadillo was. And so all of the sudden I’m reading a book, playing a game of trivia, or listening to a song, and the idea of an armadillo comes up. (And remember, before this moment, armadillos were completely unknown to me and this is the first that I’m hearing about them.) Well, doesn’t it beat all when the anchorman on the news reports on a feature story about armadillos that night? It’s as if something that I’ve never even knew existed is suddenly so prevalent in my life that I can’t walk a straight line without noticing it. But you are probably saying, “Coincidence, right?”

Yeah, it could be just a coincidence if it didn’t happen so often. Just last week I noticed different ideas and concepts that I had never heard before in my life suddenly reappear in Jeopardy!, the news, in the book I was reading, and in a song I was listening to. It seems the universe wants to beat me over the head with something.

And my guess is that it’s just me catching up with…me. My life catching up with another life, perhaps the one I’m supposed to live. It’s as if to say, I knew she’d learn about armadillos eventually, and now she has. 

Because that’s what it is, for me. It’s reassurances that I’m on the right path. It’s like when an actor or actress hits their mark perfectly from the script. It’s more evidence that there is a plan (made by someone, made by the universe, made by stardust, made by no one), and it may not be completely fixed, but there are checkpoints I can get to. And when I get to them, I can be confident that I don’t have to worry that I’ve been making the wrong choices.

Somehow, I’ll know that life was walking beside me all along.

The Ripple Effect

Bailey GunnLeave a comment

When we’re living our day to day life, it’s hard to imagine that something half way around the world could affect us. So, don’t. Don’t imagine it.

I mean. It’s absolutely true. But it’s hard to grasp, isn’t it? You can’t quite reconcile the fact that the metaphorical flap of the butterfly’s wing in one distant land could set off chaos in another. Because that’s hard. How could a decision made miles and miles away affect your life in this very second? You can’t really see that, can’t really touch it. It’s such a massive thought that it barely has borders or parameters.

So, let’s try to forget that concept for a moment. Rather, let’s try to imagine that something very close to you in your life changes. A loss of a friend. The death of a loved one. A new job. A college degree. These things we feel acutely, and with good reason. We’ve played some part in their happenings. We are somewhat responsible for what occurs as a result of them.

Now, consider the possibility of someone close to you doing something, that has absolutely nothing to do with you, with their own lives. An action that you cannot control and has everything to do with what they’re doing. Yet, it, somehow, still travels back to you. Still finds you.

This is called the ripple effect. Or at least, I call it that. For obvious reasons. A rock hitting the surface of a still pond or lake only touches the water where it falls. However, it sends energy to places that it never even touched in the form of ripples. But they do not extend completely across the entire body of water. It is, after all, a single rock.

Every decision you’ve ever made is like that. From deciding what to order at a restaurant to deciding which college you will attend in the fall. You’ve affected someone with your choices, whether you’ve known it or not. Whether you will ever know it or not.

Of course, I’m not trying to tell you this so that you become even more paranoid about the outcomes of your decisions. I’m not trying to strike fear into your heart at the thought of potentially ruining someone’s future because you ordered the salmon instead of the steak.

I’m simply trying to help you become more aware of the good and the bad repercussions of everything so that you won’t be paralyzed by what you decide. The reality is that you could actually inspire someone with the changes that you’re struggling with today. And you could actually come to appreciate a lapse in good judgment as the years tick forward.

Life is, and always will be, rather funny that way. But enjoy it all, every moment. You may not know which moment will count to you or to someone else. You may not ever know the depth of your ripples.

I am a ______.

Bailey GunnLeave a comment

I have finally figured out the perfect adulthood metaphor: musical chairs. Everyone is walking around a small area, waiting for the music to stop, but sort of lingering near a chair just in case the music stops and they’re stuck. Then it does. And everyone sits down, out of breath, and looks around to see what poor schmuck didn’t get there fast enough and has to stand with their hands dangling at their sides in complete disgust.

Now, in your imagination, replace all of those chairs with jobs. Ah. I bet you can see it now, how creepy that music sounds to your own ears when you’re the one walking around those “chairs.”

You see, I’ve realized that everyone is uncomfortable in adulthood because for as long as we’ve been alive, we’re students or dependents. This is how we identify ourselves, how the government sees us on our parents’ taxes. But then, when we drop out or graduate,  when we grow a little older, we’re ____.  Blank.

And suddenly, we’re all asked to fill in that blank with whatever vocation we choose. But how? We’ve been given the profession of student by others. We’re born, and we’re dependent on other people. Why are we suddenly authorized to make this next decision on our own?

And just like that, you hear the music start to play. You’re unleashed into the world, and you start the delicate dance of job and bills. You need money to survive, which is to say you need to sit in a chair. The chairs can be anything you want them to be, but for most people, we arrange a selection of predictable life choices that will define us. Veterinarian. Salesman. Cashier. So, you sit in one profession/chair. And you sit, and sit, and sit. The music never really starts again. But at least you’re in a chair, right? It’s what we tell ourselves, day after 9-5 day.

No one tries to imagine a new fate for themselves, tries to sit in one specific chair. Any chair will do. And in doing so, they fill in the blank that must be filled to talk to anyone at any party. The answer to “What do you do?” is suddenly so readily on their lips, “I’m a ____.”

And that, I’ve realized, is the problem. Everyone wants to sit in a chair and have an answer when someone asks them what they’re doing with their life so that it will sound good enough to their own ears. The problem is that no one wants to just be. They don’t want to take their time, dancing to the music, walking around, trying each chair out, essentially living their life.

What no one realizes is that life is happening in between sitting. Life happens when that blank isn’t filled just yet.

We all need to remember that we don’t discover our lives, we create them. So, turn the music up for now, and don’t be scared when it stops. Whether you have a chair or not, at some point, you’re still going to have to stand up for yourself.

Life Is Voluntary

Bailey GunnLeave a comment

It’s easy to forget that you have to choose to live.

Gravity keeps you on the ground. Alarms go off when they’re told to. Green lights turn without a second thought. The world is set to auto-pilot, and you are a mere passenger.

But you? Your body is a work of art, isn’t it? Controlled by your own volition?

Not exactly.

You blink and breathe automatically. You pull back when something burns you and hunch down when it is too cold. Everything is instinctual and such a part of the fabric of life that it is easy to forget that you have to choose to live. You have to decide, everyday, that you are going to make the most of it. You have to think about what kind of contribution you are going to make. But how are you going to do that when the Starbucks barista knows your order and has it ready for you when you get there? What happens when you actually start to memorize the license plates of the cars that participate in the same daily commute as you? What happens when trying to live goes against the grain of life itself?

Well, ironically, you have to focus on that which is unintentional to create a deliberateness in your life.

Huh?

Okay, let me put it this way. You know when someone tells you to take a deep breath? Well, usually when you breathe, it sort of just occurs. It’s like waves on the shore; they roll in, they roll out. But like the sea, your breath is not in control. You are. Likewise, the ocean is not in control. The moon tugs at the waves and creates the tides. So, when you focus on your breathing, you are actually taking back control of what you already do naturally. It puts you in the driver’s seat again, which is really helpful when everything seems like it is crashing down around you, and you aren’t in control of anything.

So, that brings up another great point: you feel most helpless and angry when you are not able to navigate, when someone else is doing that for you. But, if you focus again on the things that were once self-regulating, like your breathing, you can begin to seize control and start to believe that more of life can be shaped to your advantage, even things that seem to beyond your sphere of influence.

Really, this is all a really fancy way of saying that everything in life is about choices. And even when you feel like you have run out of them, they are still there because there are decisions to be made in what is perceived as truth. You simply have to believe that you have the power to change what has always been.