If You Have Something Nice to Say

You know when people say, “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all”? Well, what do you do when you have something nice to say? Do we simply assume the opposite is true? Why are we encouraged to not say mean things, but nothing is said about nice things?

Well, in case you were wondering this like I was, I found out the answer today. Even though nice things can be rare because they are not emphasized, they still happen.

I was sitting in my car at a red light, like one does. There was a turning lane beside me, and I was driving straight. I was the second car in my line. Patiently waiting for my turn, I saw the green arrow come on for the turning lane. One car went, but the car that was even with me didn’t. I heard a couple of quick beeps, and I groaned inwardly and thought, why is everyone so impatient? The light just turned green! I looked over to see what was the hold up and saw a guy looking back at me. He had a backwards hat and a beard and I was about to groan a second time from some masculine comment when he gestured to his head and mouthed, “I love your earrings!” I laughed immediately and mouthed “thank you!” and gave him the thumbs up. He gave it back to me and drove off. And I chuckled the entire way to work.

Because of course he loved my earrings. They were in the shape of TARDISes from Doctor Who. Us Doctor Who fans are e v e r y w h e r e, and we are always nice to each other. Actually, nerds in general have some weird camaraderie thing, even when they’re complete strangers. Maybe because we can all relate to being shoved into lockers…

But at the same time, I recognize that he didn’t have to say anything. He didn’t have to hold up traffic. He didn’t have to take time out of his day. Actually, he completely ran the risk of me not looking over at him at all. And yet, he still took a stab at paying me a compliment. And it paid off. And made me grin a 3,000 watt smile.

So, I think we should put less emphasis on what we shouldn’t be saying (which is not nice things) and more emphasis on what we should be saying (nice things). (Maybe we should even emphasize gestures, like this guy.) Because there really isn’t anything better than a sincere compliment. And we don’t have to all have something common (like Doctor Who) to express our appreciation of someone else. Any little thing will do.

So, whether there is a person in line or in the car next to you, try to make their day a little better. I know this guy did that for me.

You Won’t Like Me When I’m Angry

Tonight, we’re going to talk about our feelings.

No, seriously.

You can work to swallow them, hide them, or even pretend that they don’t exist. But feelings are a part of us, and without them, we’d all be Cybermen.

(Personally, I like to sing to in the car to expel my emotions. Performing a concert live where no one can hear me sing the wrong words and notes makes me feel like Beyonce, and we all know that no one can hurt the queen’s feelings.)

It was during one of these solos inside of my car that I realized something about one specific emotion: anger. Anger is unlike any other feeling because it is so fleeting. It transforms too quickly to envy, fear, sadness, or even apathy. We don’t really experience anger all that often, at least not in its purest form.

But when we do experience anger, and here’s where my revelation comes in, we are not angry in the way that we have made ourselves believe. Have you ever realized that when you are angry at someone or something it’s because they didn’t do what you expected them to do instead of being angry at them for what they did? Isn’t anger then simply surprise and confusion?

Think about it. When you were younger and you did something wrong, oh say, stuff a lot of tissues in the porcelain throne to see what would happen (like I did), you can probably remember that your parents were pretty angry. Or at least, you could probably guess that they would be very angry if you did such a thing. Why? Because you did permanent damage to the toilet? Maybe. But they could buy another one. Because you purposefully tried to break something? I guess, but you were just a kid.

No, it was because you weren’t acting as your parents were expecting you to act. I don’t know why, but most parents simply assume that their children will wear halos and do what they are told. And everything we know, from fairy tales to television shows, tells us that this is not true. So, kid goofs off, parents get angry, kid gets punished, kid promises never to do it again (with variable results).

Think of another situation. What about when you forget to buy something for your anniversary with your partner? Why does he or she get angry, you ask? Not because they really wanted a present, and not even because this is probably the fifth time you forgot. (Although, yes, it is probably the fifth time you forgot and that sucks for the other person.)  But the reason they are probably angry is because you are not acting as they’d expect you to act. 

Consider one more scenario. You have a best friend. You develop feelings for him or her. Then, when you build up the nerve to tell this person, he or she tells you that they are not interested, but they would like to stay friends. You, in turn, are angry. So, you declare yourself eternally in the “friend zone” (which does not exist) and proceed with whatever course of action that scorned lovers take. But really, you guessed it, you are only angry with your best friend because he or she did not act as you expected. This causes feelings of mistrust and hurt, and that’s understandable. But it isn’t your best friend’s fault for being honest with you.

Essentially, you need to evaluate the situation the next time that you find yourself angry at someone or something. Most often, you will find that you are angry because things didn’t go the way that you were expecting them to. And if you are going to be angry about that, then you are going to be angry for the rest of your life.

50 Reasons You Should Be Watching Doctor Who

Okay, yes, I have recycled a post from earlier in the year, but I have been waiting ALL WEEK to say this: DOCTOR WHO IS BACK!!!

If you have never watched  this amazing show, take this opportunity to slap yourself in the forehead for your silliness and then go ahead and start with the 9th doctor. If you begin right now, you will probably be all caught up to the current season before you even realize that you have no life and that you are crying/laughing in your pajamas with 3D glasses on.

But if you are still hungry for new BaileyDailey content, head on over to the “What I’m Reading…” tab because I’ve updated that as well.

If you don’t start watching Doctor Who after you’ve read this post, then I will make you read my Doctor Who thesis. All 15 pages of it. So, what will it be? This blog or my thesis?

.

..

That’s what I thought…

50 REASONS YOU NEED TO START WATCHING DOCTOR WHO

50. See somewhere new. Actually, see all of time and space.

49. Reenactments of historical events with some slight adjustments by the Doctor.

48. Meeting the T.A.R.D.I.S. again and again.

47. Meeting the Doctor…er…again and again.

46. Rose Tyler.

45. Wibbly, wobbly, timey, wimey.
Image
Source: http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpspefYDV31qmjnzro1_500.gif

44. “Just once, everybody lives!”

43. Martha Freakin’ Jones.

42. Donna Noble has been saved.

41. “That’s a bit ood.”

40. Captain Jack Harkness.
Image
Source: http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/29400000/Jack-Harkness-captain-jack-harkness-29496383-600-436.jpg

39. “It’s bigger on the inside.”

38. Sonic screwdrivers.

37. Amy Pond and Rory Williams.

36. Clara, the Impossible Girl.

35. The Silence…or not.
Image
Source: http://www.fandomcity.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/the_silence___doctor_who_by_smoke2007-d4c4btg.jpg

34. The Girl Who Waited.

33. “Bowties are cool.”

32. Christmas specials.

31. Bananas.

30. Daleks upon daleks upon daleks.
Image
Source: http://base.fantasy-matters.com/sites/default/files/uploads/2011/Sep/daleks.jpg

29. The Vashta Nerada.

28. K-9.

27. “Rude and not ginger.”

26. “Run!”

25. “I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself.”
Image
Source: http://static2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120609054646/tardis/images/7/73/Bad_wolf_entity.jpg

24. The Slitheen.

23. Regeneration.

22. “Fantastic!”

21. “Geronimo!”

20. “Well…”
Image
Source: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwazy54mbO1qfhya0.gif

19. The Weeping Angels.

18. Sally Sparrow, and all the companions that could have been.

17. River Song.

16. Melody Pond.

15. The Doctor’s Name. In Gallifreyan.
Image
Source: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmcdqpvXjI1qej09uo1_1280.jpg

14. Sarah Jane Smith.

13. Mr. Smith.

12. Sontarans.

11. “I’m not amused.”

10. Fishfingers and custard.
Image
Source: http://thebreak.sqpn.com/files/2012/04/fishfingerscustard.jpg

9. “He’s like fire and ice and rage…”

8. The Oncoming Storm.

7. The Doctor’s Wife.

6. The Girl in the Fireplace.

5. The Master and his drums.
Image
Source: http://tvmedia.ign.com/tv/image/article/824/824169/the-sound-of-drums-20071001043444490.jpg

4. Cybermen.

3. Fezzes.

2. Two hearts.

1. Fans like you!
Image
Source: http://www.geeksofdoom.com/GoD/img/2011/09/2011-0904_dw_cosplay11.jpg

Are you properly confused? Good. You won’t feel any less confused by watching Doctor Who, but you will have some fun!

Are We an Obsessed Society?

http://ep.yimg.com/ay/wizardworld/philadelphia-comic-con-2014-wizard-world-convention-june-19-20-21-22-2014-thur-fri-sat-sun-1.jpg

As I bought my tickets to Comic Con this weekend, I began to think about obsessions.

This is my first Comic Con because I learned long ago to keep a significant distance between myself and my heroes. I am only going to see Matt Smith and Karen Gillan because I am obsessed (there’s that word, again) with Doctor Who and simply being in the same room as the pair, maybe even getting to see Matt flip his floppy hair out of his eyes or hear Karen with her deep brogue and even deeper red hair (maybe I should just call them the hair pair???) will be enough to keep me in a reverie for years to come. However, I didn’t opt for the photo op with my time-travelling role models. After a decidedly awkward run-in with one of my favorite comedians previously, I vowed to never meet any famous people face-to-face again (let’s just say, I freaked out a man whose act is completely built around his deranged childhood.)

Since then, I like to keep celebrities swathed in a mist of mystery that only television and film can truly shroud them in. And while I believe that Matt Smith and Karen Gillan will be perfect angels, I don’t trust myself to NOT say something awkward, strange, or horror of horrors, something that could be misinterpreted as rude. As a writer, you would think I would have attained some command of the English language, but in reality, I have no idea what is going to come out of my mouth next. And what’s more, when something unsavory comes out of said mouth, I am condemned to replay the awful memory in my head for months, even years, at a time.

And so, I wonder: what is it about our brains that makes us relive both wonderful and awful memories? Are we gluttons for punishment or lovers of the same? Actually, I think we are a bit of both. Repetition carves out our neural pathways, like a river rushes past a cliff only to chisel it down piece by piece, little by little. This constant flow of repetition allows us to understand things better, even encourages us to see patterns. But we can associate repetition with negative acts or processes as well. Whatever the stimuli, we will have a fairly strong reaction if we encounter it time and time again.

I know what you’re thinking. Duh, Bailey. We’ve all heard of Pavlov. Get on with it. It’s Monday, I don’t have time for your shenanigans.

And to that I say: okay, okay. Now that we understand repetition and pattern-making in our lives, how do we define obsession? Is an obsession a pattern but to the nth degree? Times a million, times a million, squared? Do animals simply have another name for it, “instinct,” and is it a gift from evolution? How many times do we have to revisit something to make it an obsession?

Here’s where my Communications degree gets put to good use: In today’s society, our paths to our obsessions have been sped up.

Let’s follow in the Doctor’s footsteps and time travel for a second. Let’s go back, oh say, about 100 years ago. The average life expectancy was in the late 40’s, and 2 out of 10 American adults could not read or write. But ah, the ones who could. Think of what stories meant to them! Books became an adventure, a moral, a comforting reality, all rolled into one. These 8 out of 10 adults might read until the pages of their books were softened with sweat and dog-eared to a comical level. How the words, after a time, would simply come to their minds. Perhaps they would not even have to read the page but could stare off into the distance and never miss a scene or portion of the plot, never miss a word. How well their brains served them, creating images out of words.

Surely, the lucky inhabitants of today’s age still experience an ancestor of that joy when reading.Yet, we live in what is easily called an “immersive society.” We read the book and we watch the movie, allowing both to create different images of the characters for us. This is something that I’ve written about before. But I was missing a few more steps in my previous musings about this topic: we also watch the sequel, we also watch the television show, we also watch the spin-off, we also listen to the soundtrack. We become completely immersed in what we are interested in.

Take my obsession with How to Train Your Dragon. I not only own a few Toothless figurines and the original movie, but I have the Christmas special, a few episodes of the television show, both soundtracks, and the ability to log onto a blogging site to connect with people who love and adore the film as much as I do. Not to mention what we can do with today’s animation, where the colors are so vivid and the characters are so minutely drawn that we are plunged down to the deepest depths of the film and never let back up until the lights come up in the theater. We have learned the three-dimensional art of story telling through several different mediums, transmedia narratives. We can start a story in a comic book, which is transformed into a movie, which is transformed into a spin-off, which is transformed into a television show. Until we’re not really sure where it started, and there are few of us who have read or looked at the “source text.” And that carries through in all society; we have our heads down, oblivious to our surroundings, fully immersed. And what a fascinating time to be alive! We are only going to get better at manipulating our stories and our ideas, until we have obsessions piggy backing obsessions. We’ll have interests borne out of the most abstract tide pools.

So, am I excited for Comic Con? To come breathe the same air as with actors in a show that I wrote my senior thesis about? Sure. But really, I’m looking forward to seeing all the people who have taken the word “obsession” and painted it with day-glo. That’s right; the cosplayers. The people who stitch and slave over their own gorgeous costumes, the people who dress up and end up looking more like the actors than the actors themselves. Because these are the people who have turned their passion into an art. As a writer, or even as a human, we all must honor that level of dedication. Because the word “obsessed” doesn’t seem to cover it.

Doctor Who Haikus

Continuing with my Doctor Who celebration, I’m going to honor their 50 years of out-of-this world work in the only way I know how: poorly crafted haikus.

Yes, I know, this Japanese art form’s subjects traditionally center around nature, but actually, haikus lend themselves perfectly to blog posts. And, uncannily, to Doctor Who. 

Okay, just humor me. Titles are in bold.

Do You Need Custard With That?
You eat fish fingers.
I wasn’t even aware
that fish had fingers.

The Girl Who Was Kept Waiting
Amelia Pond, I
know I’ve kept you waiting but
you’ll have to stay there.

I Create Myself
I am the Bad Wolf.
I am Life and Death, I am
a poem itself.

Doctor, Don’t
Doctor, I don’t think
you even have a degree
to practice healing.

Rude
Exterminate! That
used all of my syllables.
Impolite Daleks.

Companioned
Donna Noble, saved,
Martha Jones is fine, but what’s
happened to Clara?

David Ten-Inch
You are Barty Crouch.
I shouldn’t be attracted
to you, but I am.

The Last Centurion
You waited longer
than the girl who waited, who
waits for someone else.

Master of All
Da dum da dum da
Do you hear the drums coming?
Da dum da dum da.

Captain Jack
I mean it, really.
Anything that moves. That man
flirts with guys or girls.

Keep It PC
Is that a sonic
screwdriver in your pocket?
Are you the Doctor?

Weep, Angels
Sally Sparrow, don’t
be scared. Find the Easter Eggs,
and do not blink. Ever.

Prom Sucks Without the Doctor
“Bowties are cool,” he
promised. But he isn’t here.
The fez doesn’t match.

Silenced
There are tic marks here.
And here. Did something happen?
I blinked. There’s still more.

Think you can do better? Leave some more haikus in the comments!

50 Reasons You Should Be Watching Doctor Who

For those of you in love with all things Timelord, you probably already know that Doctor Who will be celebrating their 50th year anniversary this Saturday with a simulcast precisely at 2:50 PM. Now, you can relive the wonder and adventure of the reboot started in 2005 with a marathon on BBC and BBC America. From Doctors 9-11, BBC is replaying all of it.

But if you haven’t indulged in the most popular science fiction show of all time yet, I won’t spoil it for you. No, I will simply give you 50 reasons (in no particular order) why it’s not too late to align yourself with a legacy. And don’t take just take my word for it! Start watching now, and join me as BaileyDailey engages in her own Doctor Who takeover all week.

50. See somewhere new. Actually, see all of time and space.

49. Reenactments of historical events with some slight adjustments by the Doctor.

48. Meeting the T.A.R.D.I.S. again and again.

47. Meeting the Doctor…er…again and again.

46. Rose Tyler.

45. Wibbly, wobbly, timey, wimey.
Image
Source: http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpspefYDV31qmjnzro1_500.gif

44. “Just once, everybody lives!”

43. Martha Freakin’ Jones.

42. Donna Noble has been saved.

41. “That’s a bit ood.”

40. Captain Jack Harkness.
Image
Source: http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/29400000/Jack-Harkness-captain-jack-harkness-29496383-600-436.jpg

39. “It’s bigger on the inside.”

38. Sonic screwdrivers.

37. Amy Pond and Rory Williams.

36. Clara, the Impossible Girl.

35. The Silence
Image
Source: http://www.fandomcity.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/the_silence___doctor_who_by_smoke2007-d4c4btg.jpg

34. The Girl Who Waited.

33. “Bowties are cool.”

32. Christmas specials.

31. Bananas.

30. Daleks upon daleks upon daleks.
Image
Source: http://base.fantasy-matters.com/sites/default/files/uploads/2011/Sep/daleks.jpg

29. The Vashta Nerada.

28. K-9.

27. “Rude and not ginger.”

26. “Run!”

25. “I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself.”
Image
Source: http://static2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120609054646/tardis/images/7/73/Bad_wolf_entity.jpg

24. The Slitheen.

23. Regeneration.

22. “Fantastic!”

21. “Geronimo!”

20. “Well…”
Image
Source: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwazy54mbO1qfhya0.gif

19. The Weeping Angels.

18. Sally Sparrow, and all the companions that could have been.

17. River Song.

16. Melody Pond.

15. The Doctor’s Name. In Gallifreyan.
Image
Source: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmcdqpvXjI1qej09uo1_1280.jpg

14. Sarah Jane Smith.

13. Mr. Smith.

12. Sontarans.

11. “I’m not amused.”

10. Fishfingers and custard.
Image
Source: http://thebreak.sqpn.com/files/2012/04/fishfingerscustard.jpg

9. “He’s like fire and ice and rage…”

8. The Oncoming Storm.

7. The Doctor’s Wife.

6. The Girl in the Fireplace.

5. The Master and his drums.
Image
Source: http://tvmedia.ign.com/tv/image/article/824/824169/the-sound-of-drums-20071001043444490.jpg

4. Cybermen.

3. Fezzes.

2. Two hearts.

1. Fans like you!
Image
Source: http://www.geeksofdoom.com/GoD/img/2011/09/2011-0904_dw_cosplay11.jpg

Are you properly confused? Good. You won’t feel any less confused by watching Doctor Who, but you will have some fun!