TP Kids

My message is very short tonight.

Live life like you’re a kid on mischief night.

When I was driving home, it was dark out. Not many cars on the road. But I drove past a group of kids walking, and lo and behold, each of them was carrying a roll of toilet paper. And I was so happy to see that this little town tradition was still holding up that I laughed out loud. For tonight is mischief night. When kids of all ages get up to no good. Throwing eggs or toilet papering trees.

And I realized that even though most Halloween traditions have their place – some can keep us connected to other generations. Because I remember laughing out loud when I woke up and saw that all the trees had been covered in tp on my street as a kid.

So live your life however you want. But remember that some traditions are just too meaningful not to repeat. Have some fun (and some mischief) out there.

Pumpkins are People; People are Pumpkins

I’m not very good with my hands. I have trouble getting them to do what I want, what my brain sees. I can cite tantrums in home videos in which I used to freak out when I was told I had to color a picture. I’m not good at art that involves me to draw, cut, or glue.

This, as you can imagine, applies to pumpkin carving. Even though I have grown up, and I’ve left the tantrums behind, I still haven’t been able to tackle the art thing.

And I’m just embarrassed to show you the massacred pumpkin that I created for Halloween…so I won’t. It doesn’t due to dwell on failure (or burn my readers’ eyes out with my mistakes). But there is something we can all learn from my ineptitude. There’s something we can all learn from pumpkins in general, actually.

What? Did you think Halloween didn’t know what it was doing when it chose pumpkins as its main mascot? Educate yourself…

You and I are Pumpkins because…
1. Everyone looks the same on the inside: guts and seeds and all.

2. We come in all different shapes and sizes, but we all serve a purpose.

3. We can have some pretty tough skin.

4. Yet, we are also very fragile.

5. We age similarly. (The resiliency of our skin starts to fade, and we start to droop.)

6. Picking a perfect pumpkin in a patch can be as difficult as finding a significant other.

7. As pumpkins grow on a vine, people grow best when they are together.

8. If we don’t have a good foundation, we have trouble standing alone.

9. We can sometimes bring a smile to someone’s face just by existing.

10. We look so much better when there is a light burning from within.

So, there you are. Pumpkins are like us in more ways than we realize. Maybe you’ll think about them longer before you throw them into the street. (Or not). In the end, just try to laugh at your mistakes. You may even find that your jack-o-lantern is laughing with you. (Or in my case, at me.)

5 Rejected Halloween Costume Ideas

I would like to think that people start growing old when they stop dressing up for Halloween. And for me, the funnier and punnier you are, the better your costume is. I, personally, strive to stay on the cutting edge of costumes every year, (you’ll see mine at the end of the week, don’t worry) but it is getting harder and harder. People are certainly catching on in the creativity department, which is great. This only means that I need to step up my game because Halloween is this Friday. You know, four days from now.

So, are you looking for ideas yourself? Do you need a little glitter for your ghoul? Need a bit of “wear” for your “werewolf”? Then, take one of my (rejected) ideas! All you need to do is cite this blog somewhere on your body. (I’m kidding.) But if you do use one of these costume ideas, please let me see it!

1. “BOOtay”

-This is probably the easiest costume you will ever make. Just cut out some eye holes in a sheet and pad your bottom up a little (more power to you if you have enough going on back there and don’t need the extra stuffing). You are then transformed into “BOOtay.”  (P.S., you can also become a “BOOquet. Same idea, just hot glue flowers to that same sheet.)

2. A Sexy Ghost

-If you’re anything like me, you get a trifle annoyed when you see a website that only offers sexy outfits for Halloween. And sure, there’s a time, a place, and a girl for all of that. But that’s not every person. So, if you’re a bit conflicted on whether you want to be sexy or not, be both! Take that sheet you used for “BOOtay” and put a candy bra on top. Can you say (or sing) we’ve got the best of both worlds?

3. Teenage Dirtbag

-No, this is not just a one-hit wonder by Wheatus. It’s your adolescent years. So, bring back this awesome song! Simply take a bit of lipstick for zits, some black frame glasses, and, you guessed it, a bag of dirt. If people don’t get it, try to give them a few hints. And if they still don’t get it, they’re too young for you, bro.

4. iTune

-This one is ridiculously simple. Just carry around a pitch pipe, (a la pitch perfect), and help people get tuned. Points for creativity, but you may spend the entire night explaining yourself. (Tune down for what!?)

5. A Cat

-So, why is this in my rejected costume list? Well, it’s time that we hang this up. Put the fuzzy ears and the body con dress away, and quit telling everyone you are feeling “frisky.” You have more imagination than that. I believe in you. Besides, there’s four other costumes on this blog post alone that you can pick from.

And that’s it! I promise that you’ll always have a good time on Halloween when you try and be a little “batty!”

5 Reasons Why You Should Be a Witchy Woman

You can keep your zombies, Walking Dead. And you can most definitely keep your vampire and werewolf boyfriend, Bella Swan. I’ll keep my brains and heart so that I can trade it for some eye of newt.

That’s because every Halloween, I relish the time that I spend watching witch movies and shows. From Practical Magic to Charmed, witches are a key component of our October festivities, and for good reason. Hollywood has recently portrayed witches as the full feminine package: beautiful and powerful. Who wouldn’t want the ability to turn an ex-boyfriend into a ferret? And then be able to wear a lot of black leather wherever they want? Turns out that women can have it all, as long as they practice the craft. Seems a lot easier than selling your soul to the devil, which witches don’t do, by the way.

So, to pay homage to one of my favorite aspects of Halloween, here are five characteristics that should make you proud to call yourself a little witchy:

1. You’re Probably Different/Beautiful/Cool: You may have heard this version of history: Witches were burnt at the stake when they practiced “magic” in the community. The definition of “magic” might vary from acts of seduction toward other women’s husbands or even to the loss of crops to blight or inclement weather, imaginary or real. In fact, if you read (or most likely spark-noted) The Crucible in high school, you may be nodding in recognition at this description of the witch.

However, in many cases this was not so. More often, cruel women in the community who had  influential hubbies got jealous of other women and forced their spouses to make trouble for their target by deeming them a witch. Usually, the subject of this torment was unusual in some way. Typically, they were beautiful or particularly nice, or had some other beguiling trait that left other husbands in the community wanting to stir her cauldron, if you catch my witchy drift. This did not sit well with their wives, for obvious reasons, and the woman in question was promptly barbecued. Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time in history that we feared and killed something that we actually admired. (I’m looking at you, Native Americans.) So, in short, there are two lessons in this: don’t hate on fellow women just because they are prettier/nicer/smarter than you. We must be a united front against the patriarchy. And secondly, if you’re called a witch, you are probably awesome. And better yet, someone has noticed your awesomeness, and wants very much to dethrone you. Don’t let them.

2. Witches Don’t Need a Better Half: Everybody has a friend who dates their significant other simply because they are afraid to be alone. That’s an entirely different blog post subject in itself, but luckily, witches don’t need such creature comforts. In fact, in most Hollywood adaptations, the witch in question has had historically bad relations with men, and have generally rejected the male race in general.

Simultaneously, men typically fear the witch because she is an emblem of pure feminine power: she can take care of herself, and he could fall unwillingly under her spell. If you don’t interact with men, or haven’t tried to take the remote control from them, you should know that they really like to be in control, so you can understand why this role reversal might freak them.

For me, as an extreme feminist, scaring and swearing off men sounds great. To you, a potentially sane person, this might sound a bit lonely in the relationship department. Fear not. Go on to #3.

3. Your Sisters Have Your Back: When you’re in a coven, you can be sure that your witch sisters will always be there for you if you cry or die. All witches have an extensive line of sisters and aunts to raise their daughters and avenge their deaths, or so Hollywood tells us. So, when you grow up witch, you can be sure that you will have plenty of back-up for your highs and lows. Consult the grimoire, and then cry into Aunt Zelda’s shoulder, Sabrina. You will always have the support that you need, and it’ll probably come in 3’s.

4. You’re Not a Cat Lady-You Just Have a Lot of Familiars: Are you worried that the local news will come to your house in about 30 years because you have been eaten by a horde of your “precious kitties” after you ran out of Friskies? You might not need a crystal ball to know if this will be your fate, but that doesn’t mean that you have to turn away animals altogether. Witches often seek the counsel of their furry friends, so why shouldn’t you? Just keep plenty of kitty litter around. Also, remember the party rule: if you can’t see all of your guests at once in one room, there’s too many people. This rule also applies to the number of cats you own at one time.

5. You Can Be Yourself: Aside from pretending that you are normal and not a witch so that people will not suspect you of being what you are, you can be exactly who you are. And even then, people will probably figure it out, so why hide it? You should always express yourself, witch or not. So, dance naked under the moonlight, and do you.

Want to read more about witchcraft? Check out this Huffington Post article!