This week, instead of posting new things I want to stay silent and instead allow other POC voices to come through. This is a particularly moving piece about one woman’s journey with her hair. I loved this post and I hope you do too.
Let me just say, this is the longest amount of time I have ever spent on a blog post. It is a wide open door into a hidden part of me that I never …
A Love Letter to My Hair
My glasses are always dirty. And most of the time, I see just fine through them. But every once in awhile, my husband points out how dirty they are.
“How do you see in those things?” he always asks me.
And it got me thinking, whether we have glasses to help our eyesight or not, everyone has “glasses.” It’s called their perspective.
And I don’t know about you, but sometimes I can’t see anything else except from my perspective. Through my dirty lenses. And most of the time, I don’t notice that I’m doing it because I’m just seeing. It’s a little cloudy, and not as clear as it could be, but it’s there all the same.
Remember to clean your “glasses” so that you can see the world from another perspective, a clean one. Which will give you a whole new lease on life, just like cleaning your real glasses would.
So, try to see the world from a different perspective every once in awhile. Oh, and clean your glasses more often too.
People change a lot over the years. And more than just from child to grown-up. New friends come, old friends go. Habits die hard, and people go through trauma and defeat to get out on the other side whole and new.
I personally now love Taylor Swift, when I used to hate her. I listen to her music in the shower all of the time.
Okay, okay, I’ve changed in other ways too. I want different things out of life than I used to. I love dyeing my hair different colors to fit my mood. I’m not so embarrassed of myself like I used to be when I was younger.
People change. And we all need to remember that change is coming for all of us. We can’t go back to the “normal” we once had, it wasn’t working for us. Because change broadens our horizons and helps us to grow, whether musically or otherwise.
So, if you’re a little uncomfortable right now, scared and uncertain, that’s okay. That’s just you growing wings where there was nothing before. And soon enough, you’ll be able to fly.
This is your friendly reminder…to be friendly.
Yes, everyone out there is fighting a hard battle, and blah blah blah. But that’s not the most important reason to be nice to other people. Actually, why do you need a reason? This should be your default mode.
And you can come and tell me that you had a hard day, and life isn’t going the way you expect it to, and it was one time, but I’m going to reply: you had a choice. You always have a choice.
And don’t misunderstand me. When I say nice, I’m not referring to a doormat. I’m saying kind, generous, and friendly. Even when it’s hard to. Even when you’d rather not. Even when it’s not important.
Be a friend as often as possible. Because we all depend on each other.
As a kid, all I wanted to be is an adult. I wanted to be 18 and be able to order from infomercials. I thought that was the coolest thing you could do.
But as I write on this blog every few weeks, I think the coolest thing you can do now is slow down. It’s really important to appreciate time and what’s around you. You’ll never be this young again, after all.
So take some time to slow down with me. Don’t know how to do it? Try doing something you love. You’ll see how slow time moves when you’re savoring every moment.
Do you know what real irony is?
When you grow up as a budding theater major, who had little to no problem getting up in front of her closest peers and reciting Shakespeare, and winning competitions, no less…
And then having to get up in front of a small group of people to give a work presentation and basically going out wicked witch of the west style into a melted puddle of embarrassment…
What is the deal? Where do I get my adult card punched so that I can get up in front of people and speak? Why is it so different from making a PowerPoint to baring my soul through literature?
I wish this was easier and I didn’t care so much. But if I didn’t care, what would be the point at all?
My definition of irony is acting apathetic when it actually means the world to you. So don’t be afraid to go down swinging. Just giving it everything you have will yield your best results, even if you could care less.
I showed up to my train station this morning only to find out that there were no trains scheduled to run due to a power outage.
And from that moment on, today has been a day of cancellations. Cancelled meetings, cancelled lunches, cancelled cancels.
And so, because today is a Monday, I’m just going to go ahead and say today is cancelled.
Which, as an adult with a full time list of responsibilities, cancelling can mean that one day can do you a world of good. Just unload your plate so you can push yourself away from the table sometimes. Take a deep breath and smell the roses.
So today is cancelled. We’ll try again tomorrow.
My old car was a barrel of monkeys. (If those monkeys all had knives and were trying to all get out of the barrel.)
It had its problems. What my dad likes to call “gremlins”. Some of the electrical stuff in my car decided to work when it felt like it. But most often, my driver side window refused to roll down.
After not being able to put on my seatbelt correctly, I bought a new car. And it has been working great. Except recently. When the driver side window decided to stop working. (Did you guess that?)
So my question is: is this a coincidence? I mean what are the odds? (I don’t know because I’m math challenged).
But it seems to me that calling it a mere coincidence takes the fun out of it. So I’m calling it a rare mistake of fate.
In life, there are reasons for things. But in your own life, there isn’t always. Don’t trouble yourself with finding meaning. Some things were just meant to be (or meant not to work.)
Like anyone who has lived enough years, I’ve lost a loved one. And on the day of their death, I try to reminisce and think about when they were alive. Reflect on their life. Remember who they were.
Which is a very sad event indeed, and it usually leaves me crying by the end. I miss them, and it’s so hard to be here without them.
But what we should always remember is that you are a reflection of the people you love. You are just a mirror image of the people that you call friends because your likeness recognizes likeness in them. And so, if you’re missing a loved one, simply be the mirror to their life. Live as if you lived for them. Reflect and be reflected. And you will live and walk in their light.
-dedicated to Neil Venitsky. Thank you for believing in your dream so that I could believe in mine.
Whether or not you actually believe in them, I think it is still worthy to write down things that you want to do this year. Even if you abandon them by February, at least you have a goal.
1. Write more
2. Lose weight
3. Learn a language
4. Be more assertive
5. Be more grateful
What are yours?