Warm Compress

I have a stye in my eye (and I’m pretty sure they named it that because it rhymes) and it’s pretty much the hangnail of infections. (It’s just when your eyelid gets clogged, like a pimple.) It’s definitely not too serious, but it is rather painful when I blink. (Which I’ve noticed is ALL THE TIME.)

Cue my discomfort. So, I went on the trusty internet today to see if I could find any home remedies for it. Over and over again, I saw that the best way to deal with a stye is to hold a warm washcloth over your eye for around 15 minutes to help ease away the pain and infection (which I kind of already knew). But no drugs, no surgeries. Just warm water and a clean washcloth.

It struck me that a remedy that we (as humans) have been using for years is still what the doctor orders years later.

So, I realized that simple home remedies are the things that will get us through this crisis. THAT IS NOT TO SAY THAT YOU SHOULD TREAT CORONAVIRUS WITH HONEY AND LEMON. GO TO A DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE SYMPTOMS.

Here’s my home remedy that you can use:

1 cup of laughter

3 heaping spoonfuls of your favorite meal

2 tablespoons of a good book

1 pinch of warm blankets

and a dash of relaxation

Mix together and apply liberally. Repeat if desired.



Laughing to Myself

I’m really into podcasts. I love listening to learn new things or to hear a new story. 

But what’s my favorite reason to listen to podcasts? It’s to laugh. There are some extremely funny people out there doing really hilarious podcasts. And as is the case with all of my favorite activities, I love being taken away and being distracted from reality and getting to laugh along the way. 

However, have you ever tried to keep in your laughter? I mean, have you ever tried to stifle it? It looks totally crazy. 

When I was listening to a podcast just today, I was sitting on the train trying hard to keep my lips buttoned and trying to look only a little bit weird while smiling stupidly to myself. I snorted out loud a few times, but for the most part, I stayed in character: a bored commuter trying to get home. 

But do you know what the best part is about not trying to laugh out loud? It’s that it only makes you laugh harder. All I wanted to do when I was trying to hold it all in was to laugh and laugh, no matter who was looking. 

I think the point is that no matter how hard you try to hold it back, restrain yourself from something, the more you’ll be drawn to it. And you should never keep yourself back from fully enjoying something. 

So, next time I’m on the train, I’m going to burst out laughing. Because I love laughing, and I want the world to know. 

A Moment in Laughter

Tomorrow is the anniversary of a family friend of mine passing away. Neil was passionate, creative, and absolutely, downright hilarious. He worked hard but always made time for what he loved, which was music. He would play with his band on the weekends in local bars. It was a special treat to go see him play because he made us all feel as if we were the private party of a homegrown rockstar.

I don’t really have the words to describe how much I looked up to him. Not only because he was one of the few people in my life who actively pursued his passion but also because he never took life too seriously. I can distinctly remember that he once severely injured his knee because he was trying to perform a karate move on a filing cabinet. I’m not sure what was funnier: the fact that he did it or the way that he told the story after the fact.

He was one of my biggest role models, and I felt completely lost when he died. I cannot even begin to fathom how his family feels without him now. But I know how I would like to honor him, if I may.

It’s customary to ask for a moment of silence to commemorate the passing of a loved one. But tonight, I’m asking for a moment in laughter. It’s what Neil was best at, making others laugh. And laugh hard. I’m not capable of that level of comedic relief, but I can share with you some of my favorite jokes and puns so that maybe I can procure a chuckle or two in his honor.

So, join me, in my moment of laughter for Neil.

  • What do you call fake spaghetti?

An impasta

  • What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?

-You’ll rise and shine!

  • What do you get from a pampered cow?

-Spoiled milk.

  • What happened to the dog that ate the firefly?

-He barked with de-light!

  • Why do fish live in salt water?

-Because pepper makes them sneeze!

  • I don’t trust those stairs because they’re always up to something.
  • Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m ok, but I feel like I’ve dyed inside.
  • The roundest knight at King Arthur’s table was Sir Cumference.
  • Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can’t hit the high seas.
  • There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal.

I hope a few of these made you smile. I know that it made Neil smile to hear some laughter in the world. Even for just a moment.

I will end with one of his performances, as I leave you all, dear readers, as he left us: doing what he loved. I do what I love now (writing) because he had the courage to show me how.

Rest easy, my friend. And know that your time here on Earth was nothing short of magical.

The Last Laugh

You know when you go to the circus, and you go to see the clowns…

Wait, scratch that. No one, and I mean, no one, goes to see the clowns. They are just some unfortunate part of the show that everyone is suffering through. Really, we’re all afraid to anger them in case they fly into a murderous rage, which we all know is as much a part of their act as throwing pies at each other.

Well, let’s just talk about the general idea of clowns. Sure, they’re funny…I guess. They fit in a small car, they shoot water out of their flower lapels, and they honk their noses. But have you ever noticed that clowns don’t tell jokes? Usually, clowns are completely silent, acting out their humor by playing tricks on one another. Or making fun of themselves. That’s right, they use themselves as the target for their own act.

So, are you a clown? Then, why are you making fun of yourself for the benefit of others?

Of course, if you’re anything like me, you just try to use humor as a deflector. You usually try to joke around when things get a little too serious. You like to tickle the elephant in the room instead of ignore it.

And, naturally, you try to poke a little fun at yourself so that other people don’t get there first. You would hate to hear what other people really thought of you, so you try to predict it and say it first. Hey, I’m just saying what everyone else is thinking, right? 

Wrong. You have no idea what people think of you, and to be very honest with you, people don’t think very often. So, you are probably several leagues off base with whatever you are going to say.

But if you still feel like you need to make a good impression, don’t show your hand. If you joke around and tell everyone that you’re a klutz, they suddenly become aware of every clumsy move you make. Why? Because you pointed it out to them, for no reason. And why did you point it out to them? Because you were afraid that they would get the last laugh. So, you took it for yourself.

But have you ever noticed that the only people laughing at the circus is the other clowns? Partially because, as we’ve established, clowns are not funny, so they have to help each other along. But it’s also because people don’t know where all of that self-loathing is bubbling up from. It’s the same idea with you. Why is this perfectly nice person calling herself an idiot? they wonder. They just see you laughing at your own “stupidity,” and they aren’t in on the joke.

So, stop trying to get the last laugh because you’re uncomfortable. Be confident in yourself and remember: you are a person, not a punchline.