Give Them Something

Everyone gossips. Everyone. 

They’re all like:

I hear she got a nose job.

Yeah? Well, I heard she got a boob job. 

No way? I hear she has a job

And on and on. And if you think that no one gossips about you, then you’re straight up lying to yourself. Your family does it, your friends do it. Not in a bad way, just in a I want to make sure Bailey is alright because I want her to be happy and healthy – have you heard anything to the contrary kind of way. 

And so, if they’re already talking about you, why not give them something to talk about? People get so bent out of shape when people talk behind their backs, but that’s the wrong way to look at it. Let that free you. Because they’re gonna talk. If they’re going to talk about you, at least make it entertaining. Be yourself and make it fun. 

And after all, that’s how urban legends are born: from talk. My one life goal (other than to write a bestselling book) is to become an urban legend. I want everything to be like Practical Magic, where the neighborhood spreads rumors about you that you’re a witch and you probably dance naked in the moonlight and vote democrat and all that. I’m living for that day. 

So, go ahead and talk about me. But at least have something interesting to say.