Tag: living

Do You Have Any Experience?

Bailey Gunn1 Comment

Experience. Everybody has a little. Some people have a lot. And everyone can claim that they can separate their experiences into good and bad, or a mix of both. Your first date. Your favorite book. A death. A new baby. Or anything that will help you land a job. All of this is called “experience.”

But have you ever had just an experience? And I don’t mean some totally freaky interaction with a psychic or an awkward encounter playing 7 minutes in Heaven. I mean, an experience.

Or at least, have you ever tried to perceive your life that way?

Why do I ask?

Because I heard this totally awesome statement the other day. This person simply said, “I just love experiences.” Note the wording. She didn’t say, “I love it when things happen like I expect them to happen.” And she definitely didn’t say, “I love when I have bad experiences because I can learn from them.” She just said, “I just love experiences.”

And that sort of hit me like a lightning bolt. I mean, here I am. Worrying or otherwise freaking out about just about anything that crosses my path. Making a phone call. Ordering coffee. Asking for help. Even worrying about worrying.

When what I should be doing is just…having an experience. Going out into the world and dealing with whatever comes my way, and writing it all off as just an “experience.” Not good or bad. Just there. It completely takes the pressure off of…life.

Because what you are actually saying to yourself when you see life this way is that “I am going to go out and live.” Instead of “I am going to go out and live in a very particular way, and when that doesn’t happen, I’m going to get upset.” No resistance to what is there, just being.

In the end, that’s living your life. Not just hoping for it all to go right or being mad when it doesn’t. Just chalking it all up, every single thing, to experience.

Seems Fake

Bailey GunnLeave a comment

Have you ever seen a person when you are out and about and they just have it all going on? Their hair is slicked back, their style is on point, and they just have that swagger? Do you know that person I’m talking about?

Well, do you want to know a secret? That person is faking it. All of it.

And I don’t mean that his or her suit is fake or that his or her hair is fake. As in inauthentic. I’m saying that his or her persona is fake. As in an impersonation.

No, really. Here’s something you should always keep in mind: The entire world is engaged in one big, long poker tournament. The people who are really successful believe that they have great cards and (make others believe it too), even when they don’t. As for the rest of us? We think our cards are okay. And in both cases, we’re right.

And when you’re faking it, the only person you have to “fool” is yourself. I mean, think about it. The people on the street don’t know you. They people in the grocery store have never seen you (but they are making judgments about you when they see your grocery cart.) Even your co-workers don’t really know the real “you,” living day to day in close cubicle quarters like you are. To them, you’re just you, whatever that means. And do you know what that actually means? You can believe that you are anyone at all, and people will have to believe you. They have no reason to think you are faking being as smart, talented, or funny as you seem to be.

I mean, really, does anyone know how to be an “adult”? Do you think that you just get a briefcase and a pinstripe suit on your thirtieth birthday, and your vocabulary expands to include words like “ROI” and “401K”? No! We’re all just children playing dress up to impress people we don’t even like. And we’re succeeding at it because we’re faking it.

So, don’t even give it a second thought. Don’t worry that people may be able to see that you are faking it. Because what you’ll really find is that the more you fake it, the more you are acting exactly like the person you are and the person you’ve been all along.