Tag: music

For the Hell of It

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I made a playlist this evening. I used to make all kinds of playlists all the time, and I would burn them to CDs and then drive around and listen to them, singing along.

So, it felt good, even though I hadn’t done it in awhile. Even though I lost track of time. Even though I didn’t get started on all the chores and responsibilities that I should have been doing while I was making it.

And sometimes, just sometimes, you need to do things because you want to do them. If you think about it, everyone just does what someone else tells them they have to do, all day long. They rarely do things that they want to do. For the hell of it.

So, do things for the hell of it, once in awhile. Make a playlist and jam out.

I’ll be right there with you.

Love,

Bailey

Changing

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People change a lot over the years. And more than just from child to grown-up. New friends come, old friends go. Habits die hard, and people go through trauma and defeat to get out on the other side whole and new.

I personally now love Taylor Swift, when I used to hate her. I listen to her music in the shower all of the time.

Okay, okay, I’ve changed in other ways too. I want different things out of life than I used to. I love dyeing my hair different colors to fit my mood. I’m not so embarrassed of myself like I used to be when I was younger.

People change. And we all need to remember that change is coming for all of us. We can’t go back to the “normal” we once had, it wasn’t working for us. Because change broadens our horizons and helps us to grow, whether musically or otherwise.

So, if you’re a little uncomfortable right now, scared and uncertain, that’s okay. That’s just you growing wings where there was nothing before. And soon enough, you’ll be able to fly.

Love,

Bailey

Can You Play This at My Funeral?

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I have a playlist on Spotify called “A Celtic Gathering” and it’s all my favorite traditional Irish and Scottish songs, and it’s over 25 hours of music. It’s my pride and joy.

And I want it played at my funeral.

I know SUPER macabre for this blog, but I want my wishes known. As the daughter of a line of cemetery employees, I’ve come to be in favor of the “Good Death.”

If you don’t know Caitlin Doughty, she’s the purveyor of the Order of the Good Death, and I love everything she stands for. I mean, by purveyor, she encourages people to have Good Deaths, she is not a murderer.

And what do I mean about a “Good Death”? I mean, everyone in your family (and your friends too) know what you want at your funeral so there isn’t any questioning or wondering about whether she would have wanted/liked dot dot dot. It’s just there, already known. Do you want to be cremated? Got it. Do you want to be buried with a tree? Cool. Do you want to be blast out of a cannon with glitter? Go for it! But tell someone first!

So, get to planning. And as blog as my witness, I will have “A Celtic Gathering” played at my funeral. But hopefully not before I get to listen to it a few more times.

 

 

Dear Neil

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Dear Neil Stuart,

I miss you. So many people do. It’s the 9th anniversary of you leaving us. Whether you knew it or not, you were my biggest inspiration as a writer. You just did what you love. Pure and simple as that. And today, I write and do what I love because of you.

It’s not weird that I had a terrible day because this is a terrible day. But it was pretty weird that when I opened my drawer, I found the shirt your wife, Joen, gave me. I put it on immediately.

Thank you, you brilliant man.

Here are some of my favorites from you. Take a listen!

“6th Avenue Heartache”

“Triumphs and Trainwrecks”

Archers Never Made Good Kings

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… is an excellent line in the song “Archer” by the Ballroom Thieves that really got me thinking today.

And my message is simple: Archers never made good kings.

Which in my own head means simply you can’t be on the defensive and the offensive at the same time.

Which means simply, stop trying to get better when you are healing.

And if that doesn’t help, simply, knock it the hell off.

Maybe I’m reading too much into one line, but hey, I was an English/Communications major. The curtains are blue for a reason.

So, what to do with that advice? Like I said, simple. Take your time and do one thing at a time. Be an archer – aim for your target. Or be a king – revel in your good fortune. But you can’t do both. You can’t grow and be content at the same time.

Remember that for the New Year season. It’s okay to try and be a better person, and it’s also great to be grateful for what you have and want things to slow down for a minute.

It’s good to have goals but don’t pull the string too taut on your dreams. You never know, you might be king one day.

 

Love,

Bailey

Be Like Neil

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As anyone who has done anything in life (including starting a blog) can tell you, everyone looks up to someone else who is doing something similar. 

Huh? 

Basically, everyone has people in their lives to influence and inspire them. I, too, have many of these people. My family, my fiancée, and Shakira, to name a few. 

But also, our family friend, Neil. He passed away unexpectedly a few years ago. He had a beautiful and lovely family. He was full of life, an absolute shooting star, who burned brightly in any gathering. Hilarious, insightful, and generous in every way. 

But the best part? 

He had a day job, like the best (and the rest) of us. And yet, somehow, he was able to dedicate time to his passion: music. He wrote his own and performed covers at local performance venues. In all of the hustle and bustle of normal life, he not only found time to do what he loved but he did it for others. 

Today is his birthday. And this day of all days, I wanted to take the time to remind everyone that if you do what you love, then you are very, very lucky. But if you have to work a day job, you can still do what makes you happy. If you’re extremely determined and very special, like Neil, you can bring joy to others by bring joy to yourself. 

Be the person you want to be, but be more like Neil. I know I want to be. 

25 Things I Learned At 25

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Well, I’m almost 25. Which is why I want to count down some of the most valuable life lessons I’ve learned. You know, from being a quarter century old. That should make me really wise, right? You can be the judge.

25. Spend money on quality clothes. They’ll last longer and be a better investment.

24. In that vein, separate your laundry and check all of your pockets before you chuck it all in the washer. (I learned this the hard way…several times.)

23. Stress will kill you slowly. Find something to channel your energy into.

22. Go with the flow as much as possible. Resistance isn’t futile, but it’s exhausting.

21. Repeat after me: grades. don’t. define. you.

20. Do anything that makes you feel beautiful. Wear make-up or don’t. Do your hair or don’t. Life is too short to not feel like a goddess.

19. You may despise your sibling now, but give it time. You’ll need him/her one day. For everything.

18. Your parents have given you so much. Thank them whenever you get the chance.

17. Talk to everyone and anyone. Learn their life’s story. It’ll make you more empathetic.

16. Indulge in your pity parties. Sometimes that’s the only way to get over things.

15. Read every book from cover to cover. Every author has something to teach you.

14. Don’t feel bad about buying music you like. It’s always a good investment.

13. I’m not saying everyone needs to date their significant other for 10 years but…it worked for me.

12. Remember to be excited about things. Apathy is for people who don’t enjoy life.

11. Sing in the shower as much as possible.

10. Own a soft blanket. Trust me, you’ll need it.

9. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Make a mistake, learn, keep going.

8. Step on all the crunchy acorns and leaves you see. No, this is a rule.

7. Throw some things out once in awhile. You don’t need material possessions as much as you think you do.

6. Be the weirdo. If people aren’t friends with you, they’ll at least remember you.

5. Work out. I promise that you’ll feel better after. Even if you really, really, really don’t want to.

4. Good friends are hard to find. But once you find them, make sure you make time for them regularly.

3. Chocolate will keep the dementors from getting to you. So keep it on hand.

2. If you put out positive vibes, positive vibes will come back to you.

1. Be who you are, no matter what. It’ll make all of your decisions really easy when you know who you are.

Love,

Bailey

Music I Grew Up On

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What do Shakira, Avril Lavigne, and Alanis Morrisette have in common?

They’ve all been on my Ipod since around the 7th grade. And even though my headphones have changed (drastically), I am still listening to them and relating to them, on some level. Sort of.

Like, take today, for instance. I guess I really wanted to take a trip down memory lane because I turned on some Avril Lavigne. Way before her marriage to Sum41 band member or Nickelback frontman. I went back all the way to her first album “Let Go” and even her second album “Under My Skin.”

And at first I laughed hysterically at the fact that I remembered all of the words and where I was when I was belting them out about 10 years ago.

But especially while listening to “Under My Skin,” I was cringing too. Because a lot of the lyrics were really dark and angsty.

And I get it, teenagers sort of have that reputation, and I was a great sample representative of that stereotype, but I was simply relieved to realize that I no longer had those feelings anymore when I listened to the album today. I mean, I could definitely recognize what it felt like to feel like that. I could definitely remember why I could relate to what she was saying at some point in my life. But not anymore.

And sure, Avril definitely raised me. So, did Alanis. And Shakira. And certainly, Amy Lee from Evanescence, now that I think of it. These women raised me to grow up to become this really sassy, still angsty, dancey woman through their heartfelt lyrics and iconic tracks.

But now? I don’t have to listen to that music to feel like my feelings are being validated. And I think that’s maturity at work. Being able to listen to a song without feeling like someone stole my personal diary and is singing my feelings is a tremendous step in the right direction toward adulthood. (But that certainly doesn’t mean I can’t sink into a bubbling bath of pity every now and again by pressing play.)

The point is now I can start focusing on what I want to say instead of someone else singing it through my speakers. But the music I grew up on certainly gave me the courage to say it in the first place.

I Almost Saw Laura Marling In Concert

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Tickets: $20

Bottle of water at concert venue: Also $20

Missing the entire concert because you were at the hospital: priceless

So, as the title suggests, I almost saw Laura Marling in concert. I had bought my tickets about 6 months ago, and I was ready to go last weekend. It was going to be a great concert at a small, intimate venue. Of course, my body wanted to hang back, so I ended up in the hospital and missed the entire thing.

And really, that’s the entire story. I was completely bummed and generally disappointed with the situation and with myself.  Actually, I still am. I’ve wanted to see Marling since I first listened to “Alas I Cannot Swim,” her first album. As is customary when you fall in love with a musician and her music, you have to see if what you’ve envisioned matches up. You have to hear what they do with your favorite song.

I was thinking that this was seriously going to be a huge moment in my concert history, and it just didn’t happen.

So, I did my best to look on the bright side of things: I got some rest that weekend, I made some new friends in the form of nurses and doctors, and I could always buy myself a concert t-shirt later (which is really my favorite part). And then I added the fact that I had seen one of my favorite artists the weekend before with my favorite person (my sister).

And so without sounding like a complete spoiled brat by being able to go to two concerts in as many weekends, I had to admit that I was still lucky, even though I hadn’t been able to go to the second concert on the bill. Even though the only souvenir I had was a couple of bruises from having blood taken all weekend.

Now, when I face any other disappointment, I’ve learned that I need to realize that you shouldn’t begrudge life. It always gives you exactly what you need when you need it. And even though you may be frustrated because you want something to happen and it doesn’t, you need to bring yourself over it. Being stuck on what could have been makes you miss out on what is.

Basically, this is all a really elaborate metaphor for looking at the glass half full. Even from inside a hospital room.

In the end, I say buy the ticket. Whether you make it there or not. 

What I Learned from Hating Taylor Swift

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That’s right. I consider myself one of the original Taylor Swift haters. I am sipping on that haterade when it comes to T Swift. I’m seeing red when it comes to “Red.” And before you jump down my throat and try to defend America’s sweetheart, I think you should listen to what I have to say. You might like it.

Well, first, let’s clear the air. I originally just disliked Taylor Swift’s music. Repetitive lyrics and annoying hooks just aren’t my cup of tea. But I could avoid it. I could change the channel on the radio station. I could coexist in a world who absolutely freakin’ adored her.

But then she started to show up on my television and in my social media. And she was making money off of being awkward and angry. (That’s me! I can be awkward and angry better than anyone! Why aren’t thousands of people following my Instagram account?) And don’t get me started about what she said about my girl Nicki Minaj recently. Let’s just say it wasn’t cool on any level.

But I have to admit, she has made it harder for me to hate her. I started to hear how much she appreciated her fans and how she would go out of her way to meet them. I thought that was more than great; I thought it was awesome. And then she came out with “Bad Blood,” and I became obsessed with my first Taylor Swift song. She’s a master of those anthems that you can sing along to in the car, speeding down the highway, with the windows down and your hair flying into your mouth.

At this point, I was completely confused. It felt like my reality was unravelling, and I was having an identity crisis. It was one of those things that I built the core of my being around: I love flannel shirts, I’ve never had my nails done, and I hate Taylor Swift.

Yet, the point is, I learned something really important about hating people by hating Taylor Swift. I learned that even if you don’t know them, even if they are strangers and you think that you couldn’t hate anyone more, the truth is, you probably could. Because there will always be some characteristic or trait that you do like about them. And so really, there isn’t any such thing as hate when it comes to people you don’t really know. There’s just…distaste until proven better.

Now, I’m not buying a T Swift t-shirt any time soon. I’m not even going to buy her album. But I no longer want to send her to live with the Mars colony. Unless she tries to “white feminist” her way out of anything again.

I guess me and T don’t have “bad blood” anymore. (Oh my god, forgive me. That was awful, but I had to.)