When I was in high school (shudder), I sang in the choir. I had grown up singing because of the plays I did in middle school. But if truth be told, I am not a great singer, and I am nowhere near as good as my sister.
So, when I went to high school, I wanted to be in drama again, but all my school would do was musicals, and I didn’t think I was a strong enough singer to compete. So, I joined the choir. A mass of voices instead of one. (And it would bring me closer to my then-boyfriend now-husband because he also really liked to sing.)
All through high school I would go to my boyfriend’s plays and cheer him on but the whole time I wanted to be up there with him, trying my hand at being an actress (which I’ve wanted to be since I was very little.)
And the end of my story is kinda sad. I never did drama in high school, and it totally fell by the way side, even though I went to all the plays.
All of that to say: In a lot of ways in life, we hold ourselves back for what we truly want to do in life. Scared of what it will make us feel, when we should be focusing on what joy it will bring to our lives.
Don’t ever sing in the choir when you were meant to star in the show. I know that now, and I am trying to live my life accordingly.
Writing a blog isn’t as glamorous as you might think.
(If you think it’s glamorous at all, that is).
And I have to admit, most days I have a blank space where my post should be. I just can’t think of anything to write and it gets really frustrating.
So I stare out the window, or I do dishes, or I read, or I do just about anything else to help jog my brain.
I’ve trained my brain to write “dailey” for a few years now so I do eventually come up with something.
But I want to let you know that if something isn’t working for you right now, it doesn’t mean you won’t get to it. It’s okay to have a blank space or page where your next idea, or solution, or question should be.
Blankness is where everyone begins.
In “Colors of the Wind” by Disney’s Pocahontas, she sings, “We are all connected to each other, in a circle, in a hoop, that never ends.”
And despite the movie not getting literally anything right beyond that, I’d like to say that this line is too true.
I think our lives are circles. Like ripples on a pond, never-ending and never touching the one before it. I think time is a circle, where there is constant pressure to repeat ourselves.
But I think one other thing exists in a circle: happiness. I think happiness comes in a circle because there’s always a time when you’re happy and there’s always a time when you’re not. And like a wheel, it just spins in equal measure. Everything balances out. The time you are happy is equal to the time that you are not. At the end of your life, you can see this clearly but it’s a little hard to see when you’re staring at the circle up close.
So, if you’re unhappy right now, just wait for the circle to turn. It will. And you will be free to be happy again in a little while.
This is your friendly reminder…to be friendly.
Yes, everyone out there is fighting a hard battle, and blah blah blah. But that’s not the most important reason to be nice to other people. Actually, why do you need a reason? This should be your default mode.
And you can come and tell me that you had a hard day, and life isn’t going the way you expect it to, and it was one time, but I’m going to reply: you had a choice. You always have a choice.
And don’t misunderstand me. When I say nice, I’m not referring to a doormat. I’m saying kind, generous, and friendly. Even when it’s hard to. Even when you’d rather not. Even when it’s not important.
Be a friend as often as possible. Because we all depend on each other.
Do you know what real irony is?
When you grow up as a budding theater major, who had little to no problem getting up in front of her closest peers and reciting Shakespeare, and winning competitions, no less…
And then having to get up in front of a small group of people to give a work presentation and basically going out wicked witch of the west style into a melted puddle of embarrassment…
What is the deal? Where do I get my adult card punched so that I can get up in front of people and speak? Why is it so different from making a PowerPoint to baring my soul through literature?
I wish this was easier and I didn’t care so much. But if I didn’t care, what would be the point at all?
My definition of irony is acting apathetic when it actually means the world to you. So don’t be afraid to go down swinging. Just giving it everything you have will yield your best results, even if you could care less.
I showed up to my train station this morning only to find out that there were no trains scheduled to run due to a power outage.
And from that moment on, today has been a day of cancellations. Cancelled meetings, cancelled lunches, cancelled cancels.
And so, because today is a Monday, I’m just going to go ahead and say today is cancelled.
Which, as an adult with a full time list of responsibilities, cancelling can mean that one day can do you a world of good. Just unload your plate so you can push yourself away from the table sometimes. Take a deep breath and smell the roses.
So today is cancelled. We’ll try again tomorrow.
My old car was a barrel of monkeys. (If those monkeys all had knives and were trying to all get out of the barrel.)
It had its problems. What my dad likes to call “gremlins”. Some of the electrical stuff in my car decided to work when it felt like it. But most often, my driver side window refused to roll down.
After not being able to put on my seatbelt correctly, I bought a new car. And it has been working great. Except recently. When the driver side window decided to stop working. (Did you guess that?)
So my question is: is this a coincidence? I mean what are the odds? (I don’t know because I’m math challenged).
But it seems to me that calling it a mere coincidence takes the fun out of it. So I’m calling it a rare mistake of fate.
In life, there are reasons for things. But in your own life, there isn’t always. Don’t trouble yourself with finding meaning. Some things were just meant to be (or meant not to work.)
Like anyone who has lived enough years, I’ve lost a loved one. And on the day of their death, I try to reminisce and think about when they were alive. Reflect on their life. Remember who they were.
Which is a very sad event indeed, and it usually leaves me crying by the end. I miss them, and it’s so hard to be here without them.
But what we should always remember is that you are a reflection of the people you love. You are just a mirror image of the people that you call friends because your likeness recognizes likeness in them. And so, if you’re missing a loved one, simply be the mirror to their life. Live as if you lived for them. Reflect and be reflected. And you will live and walk in their light.
-dedicated to Neil Venitsky. Thank you for believing in your dream so that I could believe in mine.
Whether or not you actually believe in them, I think it is still worthy to write down things that you want to do this year. Even if you abandon them by February, at least you have a goal.
1. Write more
2. Lose weight
3. Learn a language
4. Be more assertive
5. Be more grateful
What are yours?
I wish I could live forever in this moment. Right before Christmas, done with my Christmas shopping, just ready to enjoy the day.
But isn’t that the best thing about the holidays? I mean, isn’t Christmas Eve sometimes more fun than Christmas? It’s all about the anticipation, the build up, the hype.
Which is why I’d like to live in this moment. Right here. And be in love with the whole world.
But time marches on and it never stops. So make sure you take look around or you’ll never notice the best part…the anticipation.