Tag: try

I’ll Never Know If I Don’t Try

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My friend Marnie wrote me a letter today and in it she said the title phrase. She was talking about planting tomato seeds but I’m thinking this phrase contains volumes and multitudes within it.

Think of all you’ve accomplished within the last few weeks, or the last day, or the last hour. Think about how overwhelming and scary it was to start. But lean into how good it feels to have finished. And you would have never known you could do it if you didn’t try it.

The problem is our minds tell us we can’t do something to try and evade failure. But failure is a part of everything we do. We’re supposed to fail if we want to get better. That’s the only way to go about it.

So, when you’re doubting yourself, remember that you’ll never know if you don’t try. And if you’re not trying something, you’ll never learn anything new. From planting tomato seeds to writing a novel, it all begins with trying.

Love,

Bailey

Even Penguins

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Maybe I’ve spent too much time online or maybe… no, that’s probably it.

But have you ever seen penguin videos where the penguins are walking along and, all of a sudden, they fall head over flippers? These creatures, who are so graceful in the water, have such a hard time on land. Granted, it is icy snow that they are trying to walk on. But still.

And then it hit me. Even penguins who spend their life out of the water, walking around and tripping; animals that have lived in the tundra for years upon years, who have readily adapted to this lifestyle; birds who walk and slide, instead of fly…

They still mess up sometimes too.

So, even if you’re really good at something, I mean, really good at it, you can still mess up sometimes. So, try to remember the next time you try something new and it doesn’t go so hot.

Maybe you just shine elsewhere.

Love,

Bailey

 

If You Haven’t Seen Me Lately…

Bailey GunnLeave a comment

…then you haven’t seen me.

That’s how you have to think about yourself. Constantly reinventing.

Okay, so you’re not Madonna. But you do have new challenges and new constraints to work with everyday. So, it’s important that you see yourself in a new way when you can. And more than that, you should be believing that you can do it.

It could be anything — new clothes, a new haircut, anything! Any time you can re-evaluate who you are and what your new limits can be then you can start fresh. You can fall in love with yourself for the first time or for the first time in awhile.

So, take opportunities to reinvent yourself seriously. It’ll affect how you see yourself and how others see you. After all, you never know who you can be until you try.

An Extra Helping

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I think we’d all like to believe that we would help someone else in their time of need. We’d all be very gracious and open our arms (or most likely our wallets) to help a fellow man or woman that has run amok of some bad luck. 

And while I’m no different from that description, I am still of a different breed. 

You see, I describe myself as a little too helpful. I not only help a fellow person in need, but also when they probably don’t need any help at all. (Or shouldn’t get it). I’d honestly probably help a robber in a bank if he asked me nicely enough to hold the door open for him. I’m that bad sometimes. Your wish is my command and all that. 

The problem is, though, you shouldn’t give everyone what they want because they want it. You don’t give a person who is allergic to peanuts just one Reese’s cup, no matter how hard they beg. Because in the end, they just hurt themselves and at best, blame you for it. 

And the other problem is that if you help everyone, you have an awful lot to do. Sometimes, it’s better to help someone to help themselves so they can keep helping themselves long after you’ve left. 

The point is that while you may think you’re being the world’s nicest person by agreeing to do whatever someone says, you’re not always doing them a favor. In fact, you may be complicating rather than simplifying their lives. 

Ask yourself what the best outcome of a situation would be before doing anything. And if you need some time to think about it, then go ahead and do just that. 

And once you get used to not being as helpful, can you come round and teach me? That would be very helpful of you. 

If Life Was Like Wood Shop Class

Bailey GunnLeave a comment

Remember in high school when you had math class, and English class, and chemistry? Okay, now that I’ve brought up those painful memories, I’m going to bring up some more. Remember art class? Home Ec (which is now referred to as something more politically correct)? And finally, wood shop? Bring up anything in the way of fuzzy feelings?

I didn’t think so.

Wood shop was especially torturous for me. Creating things with my hands was just beyond my physical and mental faculties. I was all, how am I supposed to shape this amorphous block into a fine, handcrafted clock? And really, what high school student could? It wasn’t like anyone was sitting with their father or mother, or even legal guardian, on the weekends in the garage, carving a totem pole while they listened to the oldies on the radio. And even if some people were, could that really translate into an acute skill that would allow you to make a wood craft after six weeks of being in the class? Heck, we learned how to sand things for two weeks!

But the fact that I was unable to do many of the things I was asked to do was completely lost on my wood shop teacher. Sure, there were some young ladies in my class who simply were afraid of the great big scary machines, which meant that my teacher had to step in and do the work for them. Drill the holes and sand it down, while they watched.

And then, there were people like me who simply wanted the final product to look good, so I allowed my teacher to think I was afraid of the big scary machines, and he would do it for me. And whatever I (he) made, came out looking great.

Right now, I wish life was like wood shop class.

I wish there was someone to step in when things seem scary. I wish there was someone I could call on when I’m not quite sure how to proceed. And especially, I wish there was someone to take over to make things look perfect and good. (Instead of the crazy mess I sometimes leave when trying to figure out my life.)

But no matter how much I still have painful flashbacks about the class, life isn’t like wood shop. There’s no one to help you to get it right and even less people when you get it wrong.

And besides, life has never been about creating something perfect. You just have to trust yourself to create something beautiful and hope that you don’t cut your finger off in the process. And you gotta do it all by yourself. Because in the end, you’ll be prouder of the things you tried to do than the things you actually accomplished with someone else’s help.

Don’t “Let it Go.”

Bailey GunnLeave a comment

Frozen was a well-calculated Disney formula, full of frosty fun, sisterhood, and, of course, hit songs to listen to until your ears bleed. And the entire franchise has not been so invasive (although their merchandise is even in drug stores, an obvious link) as their mega popular, tour de force, ridiculously catchy melody, “Let it Go.”

But if you aren’t singing Elsa’s solo because you have children and its their favorite, you may be humming it under your breath due to the simple fact that it is a common, calming phrase. How many times have you told yourself to simply “Let it Go,” when you’re angry or upset? And now, how many times do you sing the song after trying to soothe yourself? I thought so. Unfortunately, Disney is the inventor of “ear worms,” and it’s not a coincidence that “Let it Go” is such a popular phrase in our lexicon.

For me, while I love the movie, I see the song as cheapening a lesson that more people need to embrace in a non-Disney environment and on their own time (and in their own pitch).

So, I think we all need a new catchphrase for when things don’t go our way. Instead of letting it go, I try not to pick up anything at all. One of my favorite mantras is to “resist nothing.” Even though I didn’t make it up, I still think it’s the bees knees.

Think about it: any change in your life, any opportunity you are given, any challenge you may face, you simply don’t need to resist it. Just let it happen, instead of trying to “let it go” after you’ve already become upset or anxious about it. Try to take things as they come, one at a time, and be comfortable in the knowledge that you don’t need to be afraid of any of it. If you feel overwhelmed, it’s because you are letting yourself feel overwhelmed.

Now, if only Elsa could have taken a bit of this advice. (But I guess “resist nothing” simply wasn’t as catchy?) Luckily, you can. And you can free yourself from having to perform a musical number every time you need to recenter yourself. I think we should all try “letting go” from “let it go.” Believe me, your mind (and ears) will thank you.

It Would Be A Beautiful Day Out if it Weren’t for the Wind

Bailey GunnLeave a comment

I wrote this poem the other day, on a windy day, naturally:

People often say,

“If it weren’t for the wind,

it would be a nice day.”

And I laugh because

this acknowledgement

and dismissal is so very perfunct. 

So, I reply, 

“Yes. And if it weren’t for life

we’d all be dead.”

Oh, to strike at the heart of something

with only half a heart.

The truth is we can no more call off the wind than the wind can dye itself blue. Why do we allow for such thoughts? We can’t change the circumstances or the situation, so why do we spend time wishing things were different? Why do we ask the wind to stop blowing so that we can have a nice day?

And certainly, it would be nice if some things were different. If humans could live in peace. If passion were a check payable to all of us. If chocolate cookies were not so tempting. But you don’t often hear someone say, Oh, if only they would destroy all of the chocolate chip cookie factories in the world, then I wouldn’t have to deal with this vice.

So, why do we do it? Why do we wish for circumstances to be different when we know (either consciously or subconsciously) that they will not change?

We wish for things to be different when we believe that we do not have the power to deal with our issues, when we haven’t prepared for them. (We forgot to bring the patio furniture inside and now all of the chairs have been blown into the neighbor’s yard, kind of thing.)

But that is (and never will be) completely true. We always have the tools to deal with our current situation. Because really, if you simply accepted something as an obstacle to overcome instead of an inconvenience to gripe about, you would figure out how to hurdle past it in the same amount of time you would take to complain about it. And you always have that choice.

The wind is not something to be wished away. And to be honest, it is not always something to be marveled at. (It’s blustery, intrusive, and fearsome.) But at worst, it is something to be accepted. This is the same attitude through which you must approach life, especially the days that are hard to swallow. Like wind, life can either be a breath of fresh air or a strong gust to blow up your skirt. You must decide how to view it.