Bad Love Poems

I love Valentine’s Day. Unabashedly and without remorse. 

But the chocolates and teddy bears aren’t the reason. 

It’s the bad love poems. The punny heart jokes. The corny movies. I just love when people put their heart into something, even if it comes out bad. 

So, here’s some short poems that I’ve come up with for fun. No judgments here, I hope. But if you feel so inclined to outdo me, feel free to leave it in the comments. 
Your love for me is like a bad haircut. It isn’t what I asked for but I’m living with it. 

Your love for me is like French fries. A little salty and usually bad for me. But I crave you anyway. 

My love for you is like a cold. My chest is full and it’s hard to breathe. 

Your love for me is like the sun. Sort of blinding and it makes me sweaty. 

My love for you is like a little black dress in the back of my closet. Always waiting for a special occasion and not fitting like I remembered. 

Our love is a wrinkled curtain. It doesn’t look good, but it does the job.

My love for you is like lip balm. I’m always losing it before it’s quite done. 

My love for you is a different language. You don’t understand it. 

Our love is a pickle. A little sour, but served on every plate. 

Happy Valentine’s Day! 

You “Like” Me!

Maybe love really is in the air. Or maybe I’m just feeling overly mushy.

At any rate, I would like to take a few minutes to simply thank everyone that has ever read this blog.

Whether you roll your eyes at it, skim it, look forward to it, judge it, or proofread it, I want to thank you.

You see, I would do this anyway. I would write my fingers to the bone. I would stay up late at night and pour out words. I would talk about myself in a less than admirable light. That’s because I have to do this. I can’t survive without writing. But you? You don’t have to read it. And yet you do. Maybe not every night, but enough nights that I notice. And you don’t have to hit “like,” but you do. You make me feel like what I’m doing matters to someone.

In today’s world, we’re told that we don’t know how to make a difference that isn’t clicking something on a screen. This “clicktivism” is how we show our support for everything, and that we should really be out there doing something. Fighting on the front lines of injustice.

Well, I’m here to say that your clicks mean something. And any “like” you give anyone: to a selfie, to a post, to a video, matters. And I can’t begin to articulate what yours mean to me.

So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Even if you feel completely unproductive and a failure at the end of the day, know that I am forever in your debt and that you matter to me.

Happy Valentine’s Day. Know that you are loved.

Be Mine? Be Alone.

The adage “you always want what you don’t have” is always true.

Yet, it is even more accurate around Valentine’s day.

Singles are painfully reminded that they need to be coupled to be considered a successful member of society. Meanwhile, they are trying to work up the courage to sign up for a dating site or be forever humiliated by their “encouraging” (nosy) parents.

Couples, no matter how long they’ve been together, feel an annual pressure to reveal their undying love in one expensive, romantic display. Even if they agree not to exchange, someone reneges and buys a really awesome gift for the other and further seals the fact that he or she is far, far too good for you, making you wish for not only the single life but for a private island where you can be ashamed of yourself, by yourself.

And this is all in the name of love.

Now, I know we’re a couple of weeks away from V-day, but I need to make something clear before we’re lost in a haze fueled by chocolates and romantic comedies. Before everyone starts asking you why you haven’t found someone “nice” to “settle down with.” Before you feel the overwhelming pressure to conform with society’s orders to share your life with someone else.

Before you ever involve yourself romantically, you need to learn to be alone.

That’s right, all that “love yourself before you love someone else” isn’t really helpful advice. If you really want to be successful in a relationship, you should know what it feels like to be by yourself. What it is like when you only have you.

You should teach yourself how to solve your own problems, how to feel better after your own temper tantrums, how to unwind after a long day. Then, when your significant other is unavailable, emotional or otherwise, you won’t have a complete meltdown. And you won’t completely cling to them when they come back.

In the end, the biggest problem you face in a relationship is when you think your partner should be there to fix things for you. But a good boyfriend or girlfriend should be like aspirin: they are able to ease the pain but not keep it away forever.

Of course, I don’t often consider myself in a position to give out romantic advice. Although I have been in a relationship for 9 years, I don’t suggest that what may work for me will work for you.

But this Valentine’s day, I wouldn’t ask yourself why you are still alone. Rather, ask yourself if you’re ready not to be.