As some of you may know, I didn’t post last week.
I didn’t feel like it, to be honest. And even now, I’m wondering why I try. It’s so much easier not to.
But I also think about all the wonderful people who read my blog and who comment on it.
And if there’s one person out there that wants to read my blog, then I’ll write it. (Even though it’s my mom.)
So friendly reminder: it can be hard sometimes. You’re tired. You’re sad. You’re ready for something new.
You ask: when do I give up on this? When do I stop trying? When can I be done?
And I will say: tomorrow. When you’re a little less tired and sad. And you finally realize that you don’t want to give up.
And you don’t.
Because it’s easy to give up. Too easy. It’s so much harder to continue to show up day after day. But that’s why it’s worth it, in the end.
It’s like looking at the night sky and seeing constellations instead of individual stars.
Don’t give up just yet.
I grew up with two fiercely independent, smart, and kind role models: my mother and my sister. And being the youngest, I was obviously impressionable. So I ate up every word of advice on life that my mother and sister could give. And for you tonight, I’ve collected my favorite memories of each of them. To celebrate just two of the women I hold most dear. (I’m laughing even as I write this.)
- The day we set out to hike and accidentally kept walking for 10 miles.
- That time you didn’t know how to open a champagne bottle, so you did the best with what you could.
- Every day you drove me to high school and let me listen to your fall out boy cd.
- When I kissed you on the head before you went into surgery, and you were thoroughly disgusted.
- When you would do my hair and make up before a big school dance but make me sit on the toilet, and you would exasperatingly say, “IM DOING YOUR MASCARA. LOOK UP.”
- When you helped me decide to go to Ireland by talking to me for 45 minutes about the pros and cons.
- Every time we go shopping and encourage each other to buy whatever we want.
- That time you came into my room with the vacuum cleaner to suck up a particularly nasty spider.
- When you tear up because something is so unbelievably happy.
- That time you changed your name to “Betty boop” on your phone and then called the pizza place, who then obviously referred to you as Ms. boop.
Thanks, mom and Jul, for being who you both are. And allowing me to be who I am. Love you both.
I was the recipient of a kind word today. Out of the blue, unasked for, but very necessary.
And you know what? It completely turned my day around. It was incredibly powerful, the effect it had on me. It really did change my whole attitude, and I’m so grateful to the person who gave it to me.
So I’m passing it on to you.
Listen, today might not have been your best day, but it certainly wasn’t your worst. You can do this! I know you can! And if you ever forget, just ask me! If you have to give up today, then try again tomorrow. And keep trying. Because you’re smart, and funny, and kind and this is your life. You need to take charge of it. So get out there, and shine on.
Now pass it on!
I know it’s hard to see the good in the world right now. I know that I have to acknowledge that fact before anything else. But I also know that people are looking for ways to remind themselves of all the love we’re capable of.
And tonight, I’d like to remind you of that. By writing the 20 ways to love. Some may be obvious, but all will be loving:
- Ask someone how their day was.
- Tell someone to be safe on their drive home.
- Make dinner for someone, without being asked.
- Buy them anything, but especially a chocolate bar, just because.
5. Text them a random thought you had about them.
6. Ask them to dinner/lunch/coffee.
7. Knit them a scarf.
8. Call them out of the blue.
9. Create art for them.
10. Hug them tightly.
11. Let them pick the movie to watch.
12. Do a chore for them.
13. Ask them for their favorite things.
14. Kiss them goodnight.
15. Let them wear your clothing.
16. Plan an entire day with them.
17. Be there for them emotionally.
18. Hold their hand.
19. Laugh at their jokes.
20. But most importantly, tell them that you love them. You may not get another chance.
My bridal shower is this weekend. My friends and family have been hard at work planning the entire day (and keeping me away from it all).
And I just want to recognize how much it means to me. How lucky I am. To have loving friends and family who would put aside an entire day just to celebrate a special time in my life.
So all this week I’ll be paying special tribute to all the things I’m grateful for because it’s times like these that we should look around and be thankful for the people in our lives.
It only takes a second to recognize how grateful we are, but it can really mean the difference between a good and a bad day. Try it yourself along with me!
I know life is hard sometimes. Actually, most of the time. Ok, ok. 90% of the time.
But do you know what you need to do? No, not eat a spoonful of sugar, or sip water through a paper towel, or take a nap.
You need a good belly laugh. You need your sense of humor. You need a bright side.
If you’ve run out of options, then laugh. If you’ve taken a long look at yourself and you want to cry, try laughing. Try telling yourself a joke.
Like this one:
What do you call a wet baby owl?
A moist owlet.
Or this one:
What do you call fake spaghetti?
And so on. Until you’re laughing again. Until you’re smiling again. Until the world doesn’t seem so bad anymore.
Laughter. It’s more than the best medicine. It’s a way of life.
My favorite book on planet earth is Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli.
It’s about a high school girl that doesn’t try to fit in: she plays the ukulele, and dresses weirdly, and believes in the power of anchovies on pizza … until she doesn’t.
Her boyfriend starts to tell her that she shouldn’t do things because everyone doesn’t do that. So she comes up with the name Evelyn Everybody and continually asks if “Evelyn Everybody does that?” Does Evelyn Everybody eat anchovies on their pizza?
I just wanted to let you know that at the end of the book, (spoiler alert), she goes back to being herself. Not caring what Evelyn Everybody does or feels or acts.
So if you are scared that Evelyn Everybody doesn’t do what you do, don’t worry. You can still be you. And actually, you should be.
We all know one (or are one).
A b**** – A woman (a word mostly used for women by women) who is loud, obnoxious, arrogant, pushy, and bossy.
But have you ever noticed that women call each other b****** when they simply don’t like what they’re doing? It seems a woman can’t ever stand up for herself, a woman cannot speak her mind, a woman cannot call out the errors of others without looking like a you know what.
Well, you know what? I’m not a Starbucks barista. I’m not here to put whip cream in your latte and a smile on your heart. I don’t have to be nice all the time. I can be respectful while still getting what I want.
I don’t have to be afraid of the b word anymore. Actually, it sort of has a nice ring to it. (Maybe I should change the old blog name to b****dailey).
At the end of the day, don’t be afraid of what people think of you. Because at the end of the day, you don’t have to spend time with anyone but yourself. After all, there’s a little b**** in all of us.
If there’s an adage that I agree wholeheartedly with, it’s this one:
Ain’t nobody got time for that!
Because, indeed, nobody has time for that. Or anything. We’re always rushing to be some place and then not really being present while we’re there. We eat dinner in front of the tv to laugh tracks, we go to events just to instagram them, we count down the hours until the working day has ended.
But do you know what everyone actually has time for? To be grateful. To stop what you’re doing and look around and just take in where you are. You may notice that the sun is shining (or not), or the birds are chirping (or not), and everything is going right (or not). But be grateful for all of it. If you’re having a bad day, be grateful that most things have gone right for you, and that this day will pass. If you’re alive, you get to start over.
If you look hard enough, there’s always something to be grateful for. So stop what
you’re doing and be on the look out for it.
What are you most grateful for?
The message tonight is really simple.
Don’t force it.
I think it’s easy in life to want something so much that it hurts. That you try and try and try and try to make it fit in any way you can. It could be a relationship, a friendship, a career path, or just more food in the freezer.
But I’m here to tell you that nothing is being helped by you forcing it. Let it take its time. And most importantly, if it doesn’t work out, don’t make it fit. Some things were meant to run their course and be done. (Like that old chicken in the back of the freezer. Take it out, throw it away, be done with it.)
And by the way, you can totally be sad that it’s over. You don’t need to be happy go lucky as soon as it’s done. Don’t force that either. Just let yourself feel every emotion without judging yourself for feeling that emotion. You’ll be happier (in time).
So don’t force it. If it’s not working, there’s probably a good reason for it. After all, life is meant to be enjoyed — if you aren’t enjoying it, you’re forcing something.