My message is very short tonight.
Live life like you’re a kid on mischief night.
When I was driving home, it was dark out. Not many cars on the road. But I drove past a group of kids walking, and lo and behold, each of them was carrying a roll of toilet paper. And I was so happy to see that this little town tradition was still holding up that I laughed out loud. For tonight is mischief night. When kids of all ages get up to no good. Throwing eggs or toilet papering trees.
And I realized that even though most Halloween traditions have their place – some can keep us connected to other generations. Because I remember laughing out loud when I woke up and saw that all the trees had been covered in tp on my street as a kid.
So live your life however you want. But remember that some traditions are just too meaningful not to repeat. Have some fun (and some mischief) out there.
Let me take you back in time to when you first got your learners permit to drive. Remember? How every trip was an exciting adventure? How you grabbed the keys immediately when anyone needed to run an errand? How you avoided highways and took backroads everywhere?
Sure, you were scared. What if you got in an accident? What if you confused the gas and the brake?!You would grip the steering wheel until your fingers were white.
…and dare I ask about now? You’re probably just shy of driving with your knees, eating yoghurt, and shaving your face. (Hopefully not texting!)
My point is that at one point, driving was terrifying. And now look. You’re fine. You could do it with your eyes closed if that was legal.
So stand up and take notice of all the amazing ways you’ve progressed. There are things you do everyday that once scared you half to death. Make sure you congratulate yourself. Your permitted to feel good about your accomplishments no matter how small.
It’s gonna pass like a kidney stone or a rainstorm but it’ll pass!
Because all time passes. The time spent waiting in line, the time spent at work, the time you spend relaxing, the time you spend in pain. It all passes at the same rate.
Sure, time flies when you’re having fun. And it seems you have to kill time at other times. But it all passes whether you’re watching the clock or not.
And I think that bears a friendly reminder. Even if you want time to pass, it’s going to take its good old…well, time. So, why not treasure the moment instead of dread it? Why not smile in this minute instead of waiting for it to pass? Why must we always be focused on moving time forward or remembering
back when or slowing down for a feeling?
If you’re focused on your goals and passions, time will take care of itself. Because time isn’t the one moving — You’re just passing right on through.
That’s right. I’m an escape artist. A regular Houdini.
And what do I escape from? Chains? Boxes? Tanks full of sharks?
Nope. Reality. In any way possible.
I read books or watch tv that takes me out of my reality. I read fantasy because it’s so different from my own life. I even watch cooking shows to live a day in the life of a great cook (which is definitely far from my reality).
But the problem is that you have to return to reality at some time. And it can be really jarring the farther you spin out.
So daydream responsibly. Be careful of how you try to escape from reality. Because how you escape matters. It needs to be a healthy release.
Take it from an expert—you don’t want your escape to become your permanent reality. And you don’t want your reality to just be an escape route.
As some of you may know, I didn’t post last week.
I didn’t feel like it, to be honest. And even now, I’m wondering why I try. It’s so much easier not to.
But I also think about all the wonderful people who read my blog and who comment on it.
And if there’s one person out there that wants to read my blog, then I’ll write it. (Even though it’s my mom.)
So friendly reminder: it can be hard sometimes. You’re tired. You’re sad. You’re ready for something new.
You ask: when do I give up on this? When do I stop trying? When can I be done?
And I will say: tomorrow. When you’re a little less tired and sad. And you finally realize that you don’t want to give up.
And you don’t.
Because it’s easy to give up. Too easy. It’s so much harder to continue to show up day after day. But that’s why it’s worth it, in the end.
It’s like looking at the night sky and seeing constellations instead of individual stars.
Don’t give up just yet.
I grew up with two fiercely independent, smart, and kind role models: my mother and my sister. And being the youngest, I was obviously impressionable. So I ate up every word of advice on life that my mother and sister could give. And for you tonight, I’ve collected my favorite memories of each of them. To celebrate just two of the women I hold most dear. (I’m laughing even as I write this.)
- The day we set out to hike and accidentally kept walking for 10 miles.
- That time you didn’t know how to open a champagne bottle, so you did the best with what you could.
- Every day you drove me to high school and let me listen to your fall out boy cd.
- When I kissed you on the head before you went into surgery, and you were thoroughly disgusted.
- When you would do my hair and make up before a big school dance but make me sit on the toilet, and you would exasperatingly say, “IM DOING YOUR MASCARA. LOOK UP.”
- When you helped me decide to go to Ireland by talking to me for 45 minutes about the pros and cons.
- Every time we go shopping and encourage each other to buy whatever we want.
- That time you came into my room with the vacuum cleaner to suck up a particularly nasty spider.
- When you tear up because something is so unbelievably happy.
- That time you changed your name to “Betty boop” on your phone and then called the pizza place, who then obviously referred to you as Ms. boop.
Thanks, mom and Jul, for being who you both are. And allowing me to be who I am. Love you both.
I was the recipient of a kind word today. Out of the blue, unasked for, but very necessary.
And you know what? It completely turned my day around. It was incredibly powerful, the effect it had on me. It really did change my whole attitude, and I’m so grateful to the person who gave it to me.
So I’m passing it on to you.
Listen, today might not have been your best day, but it certainly wasn’t your worst. You can do this! I know you can! And if you ever forget, just ask me! If you have to give up today, then try again tomorrow. And keep trying. Because you’re smart, and funny, and kind and this is your life. You need to take charge of it. So get out there, and shine on.
Now pass it on!
I know it’s hard to see the good in the world right now. I know that I have to acknowledge that fact before anything else. But I also know that people are looking for ways to remind themselves of all the love we’re capable of.
And tonight, I’d like to remind you of that. By writing the 20 ways to love. Some may be obvious, but all will be loving:
- Ask someone how their day was.
- Tell someone to be safe on their drive home.
- Make dinner for someone, without being asked.
- Buy them anything, but especially a chocolate bar, just because.
5. Text them a random thought you had about them.
6. Ask them to dinner/lunch/coffee.
7. Knit them a scarf.
8. Call them out of the blue.
9. Create art for them.
10. Hug them tightly.
11. Let them pick the movie to watch.
12. Do a chore for them.
13. Ask them for their favorite things.
14. Kiss them goodnight.
15. Let them wear your clothing.
16. Plan an entire day with them.
17. Be there for them emotionally.
18. Hold their hand.
19. Laugh at their jokes.
20. But most importantly, tell them that you love them. You may not get another chance.
My bridal shower is this weekend. My friends and family have been hard at work planning the entire day (and keeping me away from it all).
And I just want to recognize how much it means to me. How lucky I am. To have loving friends and family who would put aside an entire day just to celebrate a special time in my life.
So all this week I’ll be paying special tribute to all the things I’m grateful for because it’s times like these that we should look around and be thankful for the people in our lives.
It only takes a second to recognize how grateful we are, but it can really mean the difference between a good and a bad day. Try it yourself along with me!