I have a playlist on Spotify called “A Celtic Gathering” and it’s all my favorite traditional Irish and Scottish songs, and it’s over 25 hours of music. It’s my pride and joy.
And I want it played at my funeral.
I know SUPER macabre for this blog, but I want my wishes known. As the daughter of a line of cemetery employees, I’ve come to be in favor of the “Good Death.”
If you don’t know Caitlin Doughty, she’s the purveyor of the Order of the Good Death, and I love everything she stands for. I mean, by purveyor, she encourages people to have Good Deaths, she is not a murderer.
And what do I mean about a “Good Death”? I mean, everyone in your family (and your friends too) know what you want at your funeral so there isn’t any questioning or wondering about whether she would have wanted/liked dot dot dot. It’s just there, already known. Do you want to be cremated? Got it. Do you want to be buried with a tree? Cool. Do you want to be blast out of a cannon with glitter? Go for it! But tell someone first!
So, get to planning. And as blog as my witness, I will have “A Celtic Gathering” played at my funeral. But hopefully not before I get to listen to it a few more times.
When you’re in school, you get spoon-fed knowledge while you are just sitting here. Study, take a test, repeat. Day in and day out.
But when you’re an adult you have to work for it. Look up a Wikipedia article, read, and fall down a rabbit hole of information that you have to yank yourself out of. And that’s only a couple of hours of learning.
And that’s if what you’re doing has a Wikipedia article for it. Otherwise, it’s the old tried and true method of making a mistake and learning from it next time.
I made a lot of mistakes today. I was busy, and I wasn’t slowing down. But instead of being down on it and beating myself up over it, I’ve realized that when you’re busy, and you make a mistake, it means you’re having a day of learning. Just like when you were in school. And for me, I’d do anything to feel like I was back in school.
So, don’t forget to take some time to learn while you’re busy. Because if you’re doing nothing at all, you’re not making mistakes, and you’re not learning.
Memories are a slippery thing. Your first kiss. Your first broken bone. Your first plane ride. And all your lasts.
Everything you know, everything you are is made up of memories. Pictures and movies in your head that tell you how to act, how to feel from past experiences to shape new ones.
Well, I’m here to remind you that your memories are biased and warped by your emotions. What you remember can be totally different from what the next person experiencing the same thing recalls.
And that’s totally okay. Because you are you because of your memories. From people who claim that they remember being born to people who can’t remember the last 5 minutes, it is the very stuff that makes you who you are.
So, remember who you are by invoking the right of memory. And never stop making memories with those you love.
I grew up surrounded by books. I became an English major, and I’m even trying to write my own.
This weekend, I spent a whole night discussing books with a great friend. A whole night.
And it all comes down to one turning moment in my life: my parents read to me. I wrote my college essay on the beauty of my Dad coming up to my sister and me’s bedroom and bringing the book we picked together from the library only days before. Whether it was Hardy Boys or Nancy Drew, my Dad always read to us at least a little every night to give our mom a break. And when our eyes started to flutter close, he would check on us to see if we were still listening. And the next night, he would inevitably have to go back and reread parts that we had missed.
I can’t say anything about my math skills. Maybe if I had rehearsed my timetables at night, I would be better. But I can say I’m a good reader.
So, if you do anything for your kids, make sure you read to them. They won’t forget it, and neither will you.
Here’s why I write BaileyDailey:
It helps me process my day. It helps me to come to terms with things. And it puts a smile on my face time and time again. I don’t think it’s necessarily groundbreaking. I don’t even think it’s good most of the time. It’s short and repetitive and sort of narcissistic. Let’s be honest, I’m not even the only person doing this type of format for a blog.
You might not get an honest explanation from anyone about anything. From your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend. From your best friend. From any friend.
But you’ll get one from me. I’ll explain how life works, how you should stop, how you should start, and everything in between.
I’ll explain it all. And I won’t ever ask anything from you, dear reader, except, to well, read it.
So, please. Keep reading and commenting and liking.
You don’t know it, but it truly means the world to me.
What happens when a phone rings? You answer it, right?
Well, not me. I have a phone at work, and I was getting wrong number calls daily. The people on the other end were not exactly the nicest after I kept telling them to go pound sand. So, I finally asked my boss one day if I could change numbers or change desks or something to stop them from calling.
And he gave me the best advice, he said: “if you don’t recognize the number, don’t answer it.”
And suddenly, I was free. I hadn’t thought of that, to be honest. At least, I hadn’t thought it was an option for me; I was at work, I’m supposed to be available to anyone and everyone that needs me. Aren’t I?
And that’s when it hit me. In life, you don’t need to answer every call. If everyone expects you to answer every time, then they’ll start abusing that. If you respond to every emotion you have, you’ll drown.
So, don’t answer every call. Let a few a day go to voicemail. I promise they’ll be there when you’re ready to take them.
Did you ever notice…
…that you feel sadness in your throat? That feeling when you’re about to cry?
That you feel anger in your chest? That your lungs constrict and it’s hard to breathe?
That you feel fear in your gut? That you get nauseous with every moment closer?
And that you feel happiness, well, everywhere?
I’ve noticed that. And I can’t help but feel that our bodies aren’t getting the credit they deserve.
So, remember your body and all that it can do for you every day and every night. Not just in what you feel but your other senses too. You usually only appreciate things when they’re gone, but you should appreciate your body always – especially when it allows you to cry, get angry, feel afraid, and enjoy happiness.
Today, I was putting on a concert in my car. I was jamming out to My Chemical Romance’s “Helena” and pumping my fists. My mouth was open wide to hit all the high notes, and I was trying desperately to sing along to the lyrics.
Well, I guess I was putting on quite the show because the old, white man in front of me gave me the finger.
I guess he thought I was yelling at him? Or maybe he didn’t like my music. Or one thousand other reasons he maybe mistook the situation.
So, even though it still makes me irrationally angry because in my mind, I did nothing wrong, it pays to remember that things aren’t always what they seem, just like the objects in a car mirror are closer than they seem.
Maybe I was doing something wrong. Or maybe he was cranky.
All I know is that reality is messy. Don’t jump the gun to the wrong conclusions.
If you met me in person, you would notice how quiet and shy I can be.
But in reality, I’m loud. I mean, LOUD.
I eat loud, I type loud, I laugh loud. I’m a loud person.
But I’ve been trying to live my whole life quietly. Not to take up too much space. Not talking until spoken to. Being reserved became a way of life for me.
So, I’m finally embracing being loud. And you should too. Because living out loud is what you were meant to do. You weren’t made to sit in a corner and whisper. You were meant to stand up and shout.
So, don’t hold back. Especially around me.
TURN IT UP TO 11!
You’ve been there. You buy guacamole or an avocado, and you turn away from it for a second, and it’s already gone brown.
So, if you’re like me, you use as MUCH guacamole as you can on one thing so that you don’t have to throw out the whole container at one time. Which you leaves you with a mountain of avocado on whatever you’re eating.
And so tonight, while I was eating my mountain of guacamole, I tried to think about what else is as ephemeral as avocado. It’s like the night-blooming cereus of the fruit world!
And I realized that the metaphor I was grasping for is that avocados are as ephemeral as life. So, you should always live with full flavor and like you’re going to be no good tomorrow. You should use every spoonful even if you’re already full.
Because life is nothing but short and delicious.