Tag: belief

Sprint the Marathon

Bailey Gunn2 Comments

So, what are you? A sprinter or a marathon runner? Do you like to do dashes and race yourself against your own personal best? Or do you like to take long strides and conserve your energy?

Science will tell you that this is because you have certain types of twitch fibers, slow and fast, that make you either a sprinter or a long distance runner, not respectively. But to avoid everyone falling asleep during this blog post and giving everyone nervous flashbacks to high school gym class, let’s skip that part.

My question is whether you’re a sprinter or a marathon runner, are you always giving 100 percent?

I mean, think about it. When you’re running in short bursts, you may give the majority of your energy over to the task, but there’s still gonna be some left over, when you’re done and you slow to a walk. Same thing with a marathon. You’re going to stretch it out as long as possible, but it’s still likely that you can only give so much before you have to stop and keep some energy for yourself, just in case.

As you probably guessed, this is a metaphor for life (which should probably be the title of this entire blog). You can do it fast or slow, but are you really giving it your all? Are you really letting passion take over you completely to see that you reach your long term goal? Are you afraid to burn out completely, or are you scared to keep going and find that there’s no finish line?

It’s kind of like that weird adage where people tell you not to lay yourself down in your coffin all nice and neat, but encourage you to come in swinging and whooping and saying what a wild ride life turned out to be. Because it’s true. You shouldn’t rush and you shouldn’t conserve. You should sprint the marathon, and let the overpowering positive energy of each day move you forward and into the long haul.

Fully Full

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I don’t think anyone would say that they are intentionally ungrateful. I’m not sure I’d have much respect for someone who says, “Yeah, I like my warm bed at night, but I’m not really living until I can make it vibrate with a touch of a remote,” anyway. But it happens (not the vibrating bed thing, the ungratefulness thing).

We forget how lucky we are to have food on our table, electricity and running water in our houses, and most importantly for some, internet access so that we can talk to the rest of the world. Sometimes we just get caught up in what we should have and we forget about what we do have. Like I said, it happens–and it happens to the best of us.

But why?

I have a theory. You know that half full/half empty/optimist/pessimist glass of water metaphor? Well, I’d like to extend that idea. I think everyone is given a cup when they’re born. We gain and lose a lot of liquid from our cups. The more we give and do for others, the more we drain that cup. And that’s alright.

Unless we don’t leave any for ourselves, any liquid to hydrate with, any warmth to soak up through that cup. That’s when we get frustrated and stressed. That’s when we get a little ungrateful. Because we’re giving and giving, and then we have nothing left. And we can’t see half full/half empty because we see nothing.

Then, when the cups are full, we notice that, too. We notice the weight, we notice the warmth it gives us. We are more likely to be grateful for what we have when we can readily see it.

The problem is then really simple: we need to be grateful when our cups aren’t so full. When we don’t have much left, and what we have left is going to be given away. But how?

Of course, that’s where I get stuck a lot, and I don’t have all the answers. But I think I figured out a solution: when we have nothing left, when we’re not fully full, we have to be grateful for the cup, which in case you got confused earlier, is quite simply, the fact that you are alive. So, if you have nothing to put in your cup, just be thankful for the fact that someday you will. Because the capacity to be grateful is all you need to be so.

When Life Catches Up with You

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Everyone vaguely knows of the possibility of parallel universes. (Basically, parallel versions of our selves [based on the decisions we’ve made] are living parallel versions of our lives.) So, that one time when you zigged instead of zagged? There’s a version of yourself out there that is actually living the life in which you zagged instead of zigged, and so on.

And if that’s possible, I think it’s also possible that once in awhile, your life matches up with a parallel life, which no longer becomes parallel, and so becomes your exact life. (Still following?)

I also have another theory. I believe that sometimes you’re let in on the secret. Sometimes, you get signs that you’ve linked up with one of your parallel lives and are actually on the path that you’re “meant” to be on.

In general, these “signs” go by many names. Maybe just coincidences, as I’ve discussed. And maybe in the form of deja vu, when you feel as though you’ve been some place before, but can’t remember any of the exact details of it. In these terms, I think perhaps your parallel self has been there, and you are just sort of “lapping” him or her, so to speak.

But I think when it gets really weird for me is when I’m paying close attention to it.

So, picture me going about my daily life. And since I am not Hermione Granger, I don’t know everything about everything. In some cases, I learn about things that I’ve never even heard of before while out and about.

It happens like this: Let’s say for example that I’ve been living under a rock and I didn’t know what an armadillo was. And so all of the sudden I’m reading a book, playing a game of trivia, or listening to a song, and the idea of an armadillo comes up. (And remember, before this moment, armadillos were completely unknown to me and this is the first that I’m hearing about them.) Well, doesn’t it beat all when the anchorman on the news reports on a feature story about armadillos that night? It’s as if something that I’ve never even knew existed is suddenly so prevalent in my life that I can’t walk a straight line without noticing it. But you are probably saying, “Coincidence, right?”

Yeah, it could be just a coincidence if it didn’t happen so often. Just last week I noticed different ideas and concepts that I had never heard before in my life suddenly reappear in Jeopardy!, the news, in the book I was reading, and in a song I was listening to. It seems the universe wants to beat me over the head with something.

And my guess is that it’s just me catching up with…me. My life catching up with another life, perhaps the one I’m supposed to live. It’s as if to say, I knew she’d learn about armadillos eventually, and now she has. 

Because that’s what it is, for me. It’s reassurances that I’m on the right path. It’s like when an actor or actress hits their mark perfectly from the script. It’s more evidence that there is a plan (made by someone, made by the universe, made by stardust, made by no one), and it may not be completely fixed, but there are checkpoints I can get to. And when I get to them, I can be confident that I don’t have to worry that I’ve been making the wrong choices.

Somehow, I’ll know that life was walking beside me all along.

Can You Give Me Directions to…?

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Here’s a tip: If you see me walking down the street, and you are lost, don’t ask me for directions because that will make two of us. I seriously couldn’t direct you out of a paper bag if all but one side were sealed. In fact, I would probably point you in the direction you came from and ask if you’ve tried “that way” yet.

Honestly, I think it’s something about the spatial reasoning of it all. I know people who are good at Geometry who can sort of visualize the shapes in their head, but I can hardly pick a square from a rectangle, let alone tell you where to go when there’s a fork in the road.

And as irony would have it, time and time again, I find myself walking around my complex at work and being stopped by people that ask me for directions to offices that I either don’t know where they are or I know exactly where they are and I can’t explain how to get there. (Uhm, did you try going around the circle and then taking a left after you’ve gone around twice?) And do you know what happens as soon as I walk away from their car? I know exactly how to get to their destination, and I also know the easiest, fastest way to do it. (I must be the only person on this planet that can lose someone by trying to help them.)

This is a frustrating experience for everyone involved, and I used to feel really bad about it. Until I realized that giving directions is a lot like giving advice. You have to tell someone where to go without having the same experiences or knowledge as them. So, you try to relate what you’ve gone through, how you’ve gotten there, and how if they do blank and blank, they’ll arrive there, too. (Not to mention that you may not be telling them the fastest or best way, but it’s what you know.)

And even when they ignore you and your advice in favor of their own ideas and experiences, you still feel somehow responsible for steering them wrong. Almost as if you weren’t communicating clearly enough, almost as if your path was wrong, too.

But that’s not true at all. Because from the very beginning, that person was going to do what he or she thought was best to do, no matter if they had your blessing in the form of advice or not. If he or she was driving down a road that didn’t “look” right to them, they would take it upon themselves to try a different path, which would invalidate your “directions” entirely.

You are no more liable for someone not following your advice as you are for someone following it. In the end, it is entirely up to them in terms of what they do with your information, just like when you give someone directions. You can give them step by step diagrams, and it’s possible that it still isn’t going to bring them to their destination.

Now, if you’re thinking that this has been one thought-provoking conversation after a couple of people asked you for directions, Bailey, then you’d be right.

But I think there’s a real take-away here. It’s time to de-emphasize giving advice in favor of encouraging people to follow their hearts and seek their own truths.

Okay, okay, following your heart won’t get you to the mall, but it does work anywhere else a GPS is not required.

Life is a Currency

Bailey Gunn1 Comment

Did you ever notice that no one really knows what to do with life? Everyone wants to find the meaning of it. Everyone wants to know its secrets. Everyone wants to “live” it. But no one knows how.

So, we spend our whole lives trying to puzzle out…our lives. Who are we supposed to be, and what are we meant to do, and how much time are we meant to do it in. Questions, questions, questions. And yet the core question of our lives, especially when we’re in our mid-twenties, is what are we put on this Earth to do. What are we supposed to do with the time that we are given?

But I think a better question is how do you want to spend your life? 

Because everything is always so much simpler when you talk about it in terms of money (especially math, but this whole metaphor thing works, too).

So, think about life like it’s a crumpled dollar in your pocket. Think of it like it’s that last couple of pennies that you found in between the cushions in your couch. Think about life like it’s the money in your savings account that you’ve been hoarding since middle school. It’s exactly the same.

There will be times in your life when you’ll have to spend money on things that you’d prefer not to spend it on (baby showers, bridal showers, bills). And at the same time, you’ll have to spend time in life on things you’d also prefer not to spend time on (baby showers, bridal showers, bills).

And then, there will be moments that you don’t have enough money (or time) to do the things you want to do, but you’ll do them anyway, because you know that you are short on both but that these moments are important.

And in very rare times, you will be able to buy and spend the money and time that you want to, with even more fantastic results.

By viewing life this way, you suddenly take the pressure off yourself. Sure, sometimes it can be hard to know how to spend your money, and a lot of the time, you’ll get it wrong. (Why did I go to the store to buy salad ingredients and come back with French Toast Crunch?) just like (Why did I hang out with that group of friends because they left me drunk at the bar without money or a taxi?) But that’s life, too. You’re going to make mistakes, and you’re, quite literally, going to pay for it.

The point is that if you treat life as you would your own money, you’ll find it to be a lot more precious and priceless than if you treated it as one big problem to be solved for x. It’s not necessary to have all the answers. All you have to do is spend your time (and money) wisely.

I Almost Saw Laura Marling In Concert

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Tickets: $20

Bottle of water at concert venue: Also $20

Missing the entire concert because you were at the hospital: priceless

So, as the title suggests, I almost saw Laura Marling in concert. I had bought my tickets about 6 months ago, and I was ready to go last weekend. It was going to be a great concert at a small, intimate venue. Of course, my body wanted to hang back, so I ended up in the hospital and missed the entire thing.

And really, that’s the entire story. I was completely bummed and generally disappointed with the situation and with myself.  Actually, I still am. I’ve wanted to see Marling since I first listened to “Alas I Cannot Swim,” her first album. As is customary when you fall in love with a musician and her music, you have to see if what you’ve envisioned matches up. You have to hear what they do with your favorite song.

I was thinking that this was seriously going to be a huge moment in my concert history, and it just didn’t happen.

So, I did my best to look on the bright side of things: I got some rest that weekend, I made some new friends in the form of nurses and doctors, and I could always buy myself a concert t-shirt later (which is really my favorite part). And then I added the fact that I had seen one of my favorite artists the weekend before with my favorite person (my sister).

And so without sounding like a complete spoiled brat by being able to go to two concerts in as many weekends, I had to admit that I was still lucky, even though I hadn’t been able to go to the second concert on the bill. Even though the only souvenir I had was a couple of bruises from having blood taken all weekend.

Now, when I face any other disappointment, I’ve learned that I need to realize that you shouldn’t begrudge life. It always gives you exactly what you need when you need it. And even though you may be frustrated because you want something to happen and it doesn’t, you need to bring yourself over it. Being stuck on what could have been makes you miss out on what is.

Basically, this is all a really elaborate metaphor for looking at the glass half full. Even from inside a hospital room.

In the end, I say buy the ticket. Whether you make it there or not. 

Give a Mile, Get an Inch

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Stuck on how you are going to be the best person you can be? Confused about how to reach your fullest potential? Fortunately, there’s a lot of advice about how to achieve success out there. And unfortunately, there’s a lot of advice about how to achieve success out there. It’s hard to know what is right or what will work for you.

But I’ve heard one piece of advice from several sources recently that I love and respect. And the basic gist of it all is quite simply this: the universe hates it when you play your cards close to your chest.

Think of the universe as that nosy neighbor across the street that watches at the window for you to come home, and when you see a telescope lens poking out between his or her curtains you aren’t at all surprised. So, instead of making that little granny or grandpa work so hard to find out what you are doing, you need to reveal your life and your intent.

How do you do that? You work really hard. And then you work really hard. And then you work really hard some more. In whatever capacity that may be. If you want to be the best ballet dancer, you need to wake up and practice before anyone is even dreaming about practicing. If you want to be a great salesperson, you need to hit the pavement and not take no for an answer. If you want to be the best blogger, you have to pick a format and remember to blog daily (even when you’re in the hospital).

And then. And only then does the universe acknowledge you. Because the universe is getting requests like the stock market. It has all of these pleas and requests being thrust into its face. But it can only respond to the one that is most serious, the one that is going to have the most ROI, the most profitable.

So, when the universe finally takes your ticket after you’ve woken up at 5 am for three years in a row to crank out a masterpiece, when you’ve spilled hot coffee in your lap for the bajillionth time on your way to the gym, when your computer has crashed without you saving your work for the absolute last time (you swear), the universe sends down some heavenly host in whatever form you subscribe to (angels? goddesses? Chris Pratt and his raptors?) and provides you with a little bit of oomph. The strength to go on, or the last chapter of your book, or just some confidence in yourself.

But that’s only after you’ve given the universe everything you got. In essence, you need to give an entire mile to even get an inch. But that inch will give you the rest of the fuel to give and go another mile. And then life goes on…and so do you.

What You Know and What You Won’t Admit

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You know yourself, right? You know who you are?

I mean, if I asked you what your favorite color is, you would tell me. If I asked you where you’ve been dying to travel, you would tell me. If I asked you what food you could eat for the rest of your life, you would tell me. If I asked you what your guilty pleasure is, you would probably evade the question, and then tell me.

So, why do I see so many people leaving on month long trips to “find” themselves? Why do I see people sweating themselves to death in a hot yoga class trying to “center” themselves? Why do I see so many people asking themselves what their purpose is on earth…on Facebook?

You see, I have a theory. I think that we all know what and who we are. Maybe we haven’t reached our full potential, and maybe we’ll change and mature in a few years. But we all have this caramel, melty core inside that stays the same. And it holds our favorite things, like food and colors, but it also holds all the memories that have made us who we are.

And so, when we’re stuck, when we find ourselves in moments where we’re not sure how to make a decision, or we aren’t sure why we’re alive, we need to know the difference between two things: what we know and what we won’t admit.

Now, what we know is that little caramel, melty core. It melts and moves but it doesn’t change.

And what we won’t admit? Somewhere inside us, deep within the caramel core, is what we need to discover/admit, even though it’s been with us all along. We just have trouble seeing it (because it’s under the caramel). Let’s call it a big walnut, right in the center of the caramel. (Please feel free to substitute any nut you like. Or if you have a nut allergy, choose a different metaphor.)

Here’s an example: let’s say we want to make a big decision. So we complete a bike ride across the Midwest, and we expect there to be a potato chip that looks like Jesus that will give us a sign at the end. And everything will be clear.

But that’s not how it works. Because when you see that potato chip, it just confirms something inside of you that you already knew. Oh, thank you, Jesus. I KNEW I should be a potato farmer! You realize that what you’re looking for is something that you didn’t or couldn’t admit in the first place. You didn’t set out on that trip not knowing what to do. You set out not knowing what to choose.

In reality, we always have the equipment and knowledge to make our lives what we want it to be. We’re just afraid to admit things, sometimes. We’re afraid that we’re making the wrong decision. But my point is that you can’t make a wrong decision because your nutty and caramel center is always there to guide you. You just have to marry those flavors together to get what you want instead of isolating what you know and what you want to “find out” (which is really just what you won’t admit to yourself).

So, trust yourself and ask what you know and what you can’t admit when you’re trying to make a decision. Swallow your pride, and be one with your sweet, hard core.

The Potential to Be

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When you look at a tree, what do you see?

Yes, okay, smart guy. You see the bark. The leaves. The branches. Potentially the small creatures and birds that call it home, the ecosystem it contains. You might also see something that gives life to humans on Earth by producing oxygen. (If you want to get that scientific or poetic about plants.)

Now, imagine someone else is looking at that same tree. What may they see?

Maybe lots of books that could be made from the tree. Maybe a really nice mahogany table or cherry tree chair. Heck, they may even see toilet paper. At any rate, they are seeing the tree chopped down and then chopped up into smaller pieces. They see the tree as it could be, not as it is now.

So, who is right?

Both are correct. Simply because trees serve multiple purposes, living or dead. It simply comes down to what stage of the process the tree is in, and what potential can be seen in it at that time.

Now, erase the tree from your mind, and think about the last time that you faced rejection or pain due to the fact that you did not fit the mold. That you didn’t meet the expectations of others. That you didn’t fill a position or a void for someone. Of course this is hard to experience. But again, your perspective isn’t the only one to consider.

If you have experienced this feeling, it means that someone has looked at you during a different stage in the process. It means that someone has perceived you and thought “paper” instead of “ecosystem.” It wholly depends on what they are seeing, not on who you are.

My general point is that you can be more than one thing at a time. But if people aren’t able to see past something or aren’t able to see you, it’s due to how they are perceiving you at a current moment, not with how much potential you have. And that’s okay. A tree is not offended to be called paper. It is simply useful. A tree is not offended to be called a shelter for others. It is simply useful.

Remember that you are useful in whatever stage of the process (AKA life) that you are in, even if it is hard to see right now. There is as much potential in a seed as there is in a fully grown tree.

Three Wishes

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You know, genies are a little stingy.

In return for letting them out of a cage, basically, they give you three wishes–with a ton of stipulations. You can’t wish for more wishes. You can’t wish that the dead become undead. And usually, if the fairy tales are to be believed, you accidentally wish away your wishes before you’ve even got started.

I’ve sworn off genies. I’ll stick with dandelion seeds.

With one small puff of air, a cluster of seeds are afloat and away. And with it are attached all of your hopes and dreams. It’s simple and much less stressful than rubbing a lamp with some elbow grease.

That is, unless the seeds get stuck in your throat. I was sitting in my car today in rush hour traffic when an entire cloud of dandelion seeds floated through the air. And a few lucky specimens slipped right into my mouth. Upon choking and sputtering, I got to thinking: what is the point in wishing? And a better question: who released such an army of wishes on so many unsuspecting commuters like myself?

In this vein, I sometimes feel like wishing is like winning the lottery. No matter how much you desire something, you’re not likely to get what you wish for without working for it. Or maybe it’s more synonymous with luck: you need to make your own.

Or maybe it isn’t any of that. Maybe it’s similar to exercising in the sense that you feel good just because you’re doing it. And maybe it doesn’t carry a heavier meaning than that. (It can’t. Most wishes have to float through the air.)

But despite all of my metaphors, there is nothing in this world that is more of an expression of hope than a wish. It’s a tiny admission to the world that you want to give your desires their own voice. You might do it on candles, at 11:11 on the clock, or on a shooting star. But the sentiment is always the same: please, someone, listen.

I sometimes lose faith in wishing. But then again, I also lose faith in hope. I feel like it is so fragile, and that if I’m not looking where I sit, I’ll squash and shatter it.

But unlike hope, wishes are not fragile. Even when sliding down an unsuspecting person’s throat. Wishes keep hope intact because they act as the vessel. They give us something tangible to hold onto when everything seems so abstract. They were built to last and withstand all the negative forces in the world. Specifically doubt.

So, the next time you are hoping for something to happen, capture it in a wish. Oh, but don’t tell anyone what you wished for. Much like hope, you have to keep a wish close to your heart and your chest.