Tag: optimism

Show Up

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The message tonight is going to be a simple and clear one:

Half of adult life is just showing up. Making the effort. Being there. Especially at those times when you really, really, really don’t want to be. (See every after work cocktail party ever.) 

Which by the way, I didn’t do last night. I didn’t show up. 

Sometimes I’m afraid of this blog. Afraid of admitting that I have nothing new to say. Afraid that I don’t have anything to say at all. 

But here I am, showing up. And so are you. We should be proud of ourselves for that. Because there are some people that didn’t. (And they’re missed out on all of the fun we’re having!)

A Little Patience

Bailey GunnLeave a comment

So, last night I posted that I was satisfied and grateful. And I am. 

But I didn’t get there over night. I’ve been working toward that. Toward accepting what I don’t know and trying not to be upset when I can’t control it. 

And besides the seldom zen moments that I had last night, my life goes a little something like this:

Wake up. Brush your teeth. Ponder your existence on this earth. Wonder why anyone reads anything you write. Wonder why you haven’t written a novel yet but a sixteen-year-old has. Eat lunch. Cry into your avocado toast. Leave work. Come home. Crank out thoughts of self doubt until you go to bed. 

So, believe you me, yesterday was like one bright shiny penny in a change purse full of subway tokens. I promise that it doesn’t happen all that often that I’m happy with one part of my life. 

But it can happen for you too with one simple rule: be patient. 

If something hasn’t happened yet that you’re waiting on, it’s because it. Isn’t. Time. And you have to believe that. Because a watched pot never boils, and an impatient life is a rushed one. Have patience. Good things come to those who…

Wait. 

Be Curious! 

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I had a HUGE revelation today. 

I’m all about pursuing your passions. All for it. 

Except when it comes to quitting your day job. 

I know, I know. Big risk, big reward. But there’s something keeping you back from starting all over and pursuing your passion isn’t there? (Yes, Bailey. It’s my crippling student debt.) Okay, fair. 

But ask yourself — is your passion something you LIKE to do? Or are you truly interested and curious about it?

Because that’s what keeps me back from writing full time. One, because I love my blog and I don’t want to hate it because I have to rely on it to give me money. But two, and more importantly, I’m not curious about writing. I don’t want to learn about it. I just want to do it. It comes natural to me. And like most writers, I’m an egotist and I think I’ve learned everything I possibly can about writing. I’ll learn as I go. 

But what am I truly curious about? Science. I am interested in science. I love listening to podcasts about any kind of science, but mostly anatomy. I get truly excited about listening to how the human body works. I hung on every word of a woman who described how she became allergic to meat. And it’s only taken me until recently to realize that I have a passion for science, but I have a love for writing. 

The difference is that I can keep one as my mistress, and the other one keeps me up at night. (I’ll let you decide which is which.)

But the point is that when I stopped to think about it, I realized I could love what I do and still not be passionate about it. Just because I love writing doesn’t mean that I need to exorcise my soul to produce it. Sometimes, quitting your day job still doesn’t mean you are fulfilled. 

Boy Pets Dog

Bailey GunnLeave a comment

I had a terrible day today. There was really nothing good about it, and I don’t really want to bring y’all down by talking about it…

But there was one thing.

The one thing that was good about my day was that I was so angry that I took a long walk to cool off…

(That wasn’t the good part.)

And as I was walking, the cool breeze lifted my hair while the sun simultaneously warmed me…

(Not yet.)

And I was walking by some really quaint and beautiful houses…

(Almost there.)

And a woman was walking into her yard while a young boy played in the yard next to her. She was walking a black lab. The young boy saw her and ran over. He greeted her and very gently pet her dog who loved the attention. He then thanked the woman and ran back into his yard. And I can only predict that this is a ritual he conducts every day, and that the woman loves it, and the dog loves it.

And now I love it. Because it was the purest and best thing about my day. Because the boy was happy, and the dog was happy, and the woman was happy.

Which just goes to show you that there’s always something good to hold onto. Even if it has absolutely nothing to do with you. And you only experienced it because you were angry in the first place.

My only hope for you is that you are always on the lookout for your “boy pets dog” moment every day.

Hope Floats

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Most people’s hope floats. Most people’s happiness is a boat on smooth waters, chugging along until…

It springs a tiny leak. But then that person plugs it right away. And it’s all better and they can keep chugging along, even though the boat is floating a little lower in the water. And everything is fine, until suddenly the cork comes out, and they have to plug it again, although now the boat has really taken on water and it’s wading a little lower. But it’s okay — most people just pick up the bucket and bail the water out. The boat is not the same as before, but they have confidence it will get better (or at least not any worse). 

But that’s most people. And by my tone, I’m assuming you know that that’s not me. 

See, my hope is a submarine. It’s cruising along the bottom of the ocean. It actually belongs at the bottom, so that no one sees it coming. And to get it to the surface, you’ll need a lot of weight pulling it up. I mean, a lot. You can add one weight at a time, pulling on it, but you won’t notice much of a difference until it’s fully up. It’ll just be at the bottom, moving along. And you can see out the windows, but that’s really it. You only have a small space to move in, to see in.  

That’s my day and my life. My hope is a submarine. And a few weights are added each day, a few good things happen, but not much to make a difference. And that’s the hardest part. Because I want my hope to float, in spite of everything. I want to feel bouyant and happy. But I just feel dragged down. 

At any rate, I’m learning that it’s okay to have a hope submarine. As long as your propeller is intact and you keep moving, it’s okay if your submarine doesn’t resurface or if your boat takes on water. As long, as you keep moving, you can still see the world. 

Chutes and Ladders

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I may be dating myself, but does anyone remember the board game chutes and ladders? (Okay, now think hard. Try to remember. Board games are what you played before you used your cell phone for every form of entertainment.) 

But in case that doesn’t ring a bell specifically, chutes and ladders was a simple board game. You rolled a die and you got to move a number of spaces. This would either allow you to arrive at a ladder where you would go up, and up, and up. Or you’d get a chute, and you’d go all the way back down. Sometimes, you’d have to start back at the beginning, even. 

And now, you probably know what’s coming. This is the part where I say that this is life: a series of chutes and ladders. And you never really know what you’ll get next. Or how far you’ll go or fall. 

And you’d be right. I’d like to say that. But the question I’m left with is what’s to keep you from tumbling all the way down and never rolling the die again? What motivates you when you have to start all over? 

Well. I suppose it’s the same thing that got you to that chute in the first place. Because you didn’t start there. That what if? 

And that’s what it all comes down to: because you could be wrong about all this. 

I mean, personally, today made me want to stop and never start again. 

But I keep going because there’s a chance that I’ll be wrong about what is gonna happen next. 

Ultimately, the crash down is still gonna come and it’s gonna hurt. But we’re all hoping to go higher than ever before. And if you think it hard enough, you just might do it. 

The Time-Traveler’s Dilemma

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Any movie or book featuring time traveling can be summed up in three acts.

Act I: Wow, time traveling. We can go to any time! Any decade! Let’s go meet a famous person! (Which inevitably leads to…)

Act II: No, wait. We need to be smart about this. We need to go back in time and fix history so that we can have a totally awesome future. Nothing huge, just a small alteration…like, let’s kill hitler. Or better yet, why don’t we stop countries from ever being created in the first place? (And then…)

Act III: No! We wanted to stop a thing from happening, but it happened anyway! Somehow Hitler still found a way!

Fin. 

And although it is sad that I can predict the entire plot of a movie or book before seeing or reading it, this idea is sort of inspirational. It can be summed up into: “Maybe if we’re really meant to do something, it will happen, no matter what.”

Which sort of gets me thinking about the alternative: what if famous people in history didn’t do what they were on track to do? What if they failed or gave up? What if the time travelers succeeded and stopped them?

And sure, that would obviously be the best case scenario for WWII, but what would happen to the benevolent artists and creators in the world? What if J.R.R. Tolkien never wrote The Lord of the Rings? What if van Gogh died before “Starry Night”? What if Nabisco decided the world wasn’t ready for the oreo?

It’s frankly a scary thought. Because these things have changed lives, encouraged creative thought and late night snacking the world over. I, personally, wouldn’t be the woman I am today without many of the masterpieces I know and love (I would also be about 10-15 lbs lighter without oreos.) But really, what would happen if these people just decided to give up because the going got too tough? Sometimes you don’t need a time traveler to make you think that you may be making the wrong decision for your future. I’m sure at some point, famous earth-shakers had doubts.

But, you see, everything is a domino effect. There is no decision in the universe that stands on its own. It is because a star is twinkling in deep outer space that a poet dreams, and when a poet dreams, a high school lit teacher is inspired to teach his or her students, and a student suddenly wants to look up at the night sky. There will always be repercussions and consequences to every action, but there are some things that are too good to live without.

So, the next time you feel that it would be easier to give in and give up, think about the time traveler’s dilemma: if it is meant to happen, it will happen anyway, despite and because of yours, or anyone’s, best efforts. And you never know who you may inspire as a result of it all.

Blame it on the Weatherman

Bailey GunnLeave a comment

Everyone knows that the media tends to control our lives and what we see in the world. But I think there’s a new threat: the weatherman or weatherwoman.

I mean, we already sort of plan our days around the weather. Oh, it’s lashing rain? I’ll stay inside and read a book. Oh, it’s sunny and warm? I think I should spend a lot of time outside today, and so on. And now that it is getting even easier to check the weather from our devices with updates and alerts (you know, instead of like, stepping outside), we’re seeing even more influence from it.

But really, we’re just making excuses. For example, it’s truly difficult for me to wake up in the morning when it is cloudy or raining. It feels like all of the blood in my body has been replaced with lead. And sure, there is a scientific reason for that. Blue light in sunshine (and electronic devices) tells us to wake up. The absence of it does the opposite. But can I rely on science to explain this? Can I honestly tell myself that my body would prefer to sleep in on a rainy day just because the sun isn’t out? Should I be blaming my troubles on the weatherman and Mother Nature?

The short answer is no. The fact of the matter is that I am absolutely able to wake up on my own (with the help of a couple of alarms). And the fact of the matter is, we are all able to get up on a rainy day or a sunny day or a cloudy day or a snowy day or a blustery day to do the things we need to do. And like it or not, weather warning or not, we must do them.

And most certainly, this is a greater metaphor for life, as most of my blog posts are. You see, the universe is going to present you with several different types of obstacles. Sometimes, they arrive all in one day. And as with the weather, you have the choice of deciding whether you want to make up an excuse or make it happen. And yes, I know. It’s really easy to step to the window and watch the rain fall down and stay inside with warm tea all day. But there is something else in deciding that you will get things done in spite of the conditions and circumstances around you that speaks more volumes of your character.

But if it helps, no one said that you couldn’t jump in the puddles along the way.

Be Completely Irritated

Bailey GunnLeave a comment

Frankly, I think the world would be better if people were a little more irritated.

Not with the mundane things. (The coffee is too hot, the office is too cold, the walk to work is too long, and the lunch break is too short…)

But with things that truly mattered.

Of course, you point out that people are plenty irritated already. Just turn on the news, and if you don’t see what people are mad about (in the physical act of carrying out their anger), you see what they are going to be mad about later.

But let’s think of it in another way first. To use an entirely cliched example, an oyster makes a pearl with a grain of sand because it irritates the oyster enough that the mollusk engulfs it in something that it can deal with and the rest of the world thinks is beautiful. (I mean, I guess you can use the same example with eye boogies, but, well. You know.)

Now, there is enough of a lesson in there for me to stop right now. Out of something harsh and annoying, oysters make something beautiful and precious. They are probably the most optimistic sea-dwelling creatures ever, and we should follow their lead. (This is also why oysters are about as cliched as butterflies in the self-help arena.)

But there is something else that you’re missing if you are just looking at the pearl in this cliche. Rather, the real lesson is that people need to become more irritated to make their own pearls in the first place, so to speak.

Often, we are angry over minor issues and complacent over major things. I mean, why is it that we may get angry about someone’s driving on our way to work but not the fact that we have an hour commute that stresses us out everyday? I understand picking your battles, but this is your life, isn’t it? Doesn’t that mean you get to choose what you do and where you work? Why not make the change if it will make you ultimately happier?

The problem is that not enough people let themselves get irritated. They just tell themselves that they will eventually get another job that has a closer commute. Or that if they play their music loud enough, they won’t even mind the hour drive. But really, they should be downright irritated. With themselves, with their life. So much so that they are motivated, like the oyster, to make a change.

And speaking of change, being irritated and pushing yourself to live the best life you can live by constantly striving for the best is hard. In fact, if it is easy, you’re probably doing it wrong.

But don’t be afraid to get a little irritated. It just means that you want change and that you are passionate about getting it. You don’t have to see the whole process; you just need a plan to rid yourself of complacency. Just ask the oyster. If he or she left the grain of sand alone, we wouldn’t have pearls.

Hope is Not a Luxury

Bailey Gunn1 Comment

Hope is many things. It is fickle, it is bright and shiny, it is a “thing with feathers.” But it is not a luxury. Rather, it is affordable in every situation. There is always room for hope.

Don’t believe me? Let’s try something out:

When you live your life without hope…

Well, let’s stop right there. You can’t live your life without hope. It is impossible to be alive without it. Because let’s just say that you didn’t have hope. Then you would be consumed by the idea that you will die tomorrow or the day after. Really, hope keeps us alive by telling us that we have another day to try again, even when we eventually don’t.

So, okay. Now, you may think that hope is a liar. Which, I think, is how many people perceive hope. We’re uncomfortable, awkward ex-lovers with hope. We say, well, I don’t want my feelings to get hurt. So, I might as well believe the opposite is going to happen so that I don’t have to be upset when the thing I want doesn’t happen. I’d prefer to be “realistic.”

Except, that is akin to telling the ice cream store employee that you have never been to his or her store before and that you love chocolate ice cream, but you should probably just order vanilla because you’re not really sure if the store offers chocolate. Ridiculous, right? Why don’t you just ask? If they don’t have chocolate, you can get vanilla. And if they do, well, you see where this is going. But it doesn’t hurt to ask if they have chocolate. And it doesn’t hurt to hope for this outcome, either. Hope is a lot like asking for chocolate ice cream because it is your favorite, even if you don’t know if you will get it or not.

Because, essentially, hope keeps us happy (like ice cream). Hope is something that we can hang our hats on, so to speak, at the end of a long day. It’s the little voice inside our head that says, let’s try again tomorrow, shall we? Even when we’re really tired of our situation, we have hope that our circumstances will change, or we will find the courage to change them ourselves. We keep going because of hope.

Now, back to my biggest problem with people and hope. Hope, some seem to think, is only for the very rich in life. That is, the people who have reason to hope. They believe they have a good shot at something because they are smart, talented, strong, etc. But hope isn’t picky. Hope likes a long shot, an underdog, or a bad set of odds.

The reason? There is nothing to be lost or gained by hope. It simply exists. It is the string tugging the wakeboard forward after a speeding boat. It is pulled by the momentum of something else, and it pulls you farther along by how tight you can hold on. It does not care whether you are still on the board or in the water. It will keep going as long as it can. But will you?