Tag: optimism

Be Like Stained Glass

Bailey GunnLeave a comment

My parents got into stained glass when I was young. (I realize that I just made it sound like a new street drug, but stay with me.)

I can distinctly remember creeping down the wooden stairs of my basement to peer through the small space between the wall and the staircase to watch my father shape the glass pieces he was using. The shrill sound that the machine made as he meticulously ran the piece against it is still loud in my ears. Then he would take a ribbon of copper-colored foil and cover the edges of the glass with it. After that, he would make sure that the foil had stuck to the glass by using a plastic knife to flatten it. When he was finished, he would carefully solder it all together, the liquid droplets streaming like mercury, to make a small angel or a hot air balloon or a sunflower or a unicorn. Soon enough, his creations would pepper every window in our house and our friends’ houses. Then, when we needed a new creation, my mother would take me to the stained glass store so that she could pick out clear dark blues, milky pinks, and opalescent whites. Sunlight would strike the shop through the windows and illuminate her choices with dust motes swirling.

And so, I’ve always loved stained glass. I’ve sat in churches, fading in and out out of sermons, wondering how anyone could get that much detail into a window, how they could render the images of saints and souls in vivid color. I would watch light shift and undulate through the panels, making them shimmer and come to life.

But in the end, coming to life is what it is all about. We’re all stained glass windows. No, really. Light shines through us all of the time, through what we do and what we feel. We let light pass through us out into the world, and we also let light pass into us from the world. We are simply mediums for what we see and experience. This is living.

But what will you do with your life? Will you make it more than you were given?

Because you always have a choice: you can be the window, everyday. You can let the light shine through you, no matter how smudged or mud-covered you may get. (And that’s good enough. I promise you that). But you can also be the stained glass window, in which light not only shines through you, but allows you to project color and beauty outward. Through this, you are able to give something back to the world when it is giving so much to you.

So, what will it be for you? Will you dazzle in a technicolor display? Will you, no matter what, let the light shine through you? Will you be like stained glass?

I hope more than anything that you will. Because once you see yourself for the piece of art that you are, you will make use of the light that shines through you.

Hold On, I Have to Pee

Bailey GunnLeave a comment

I’m so sorry about not posting yesterday, but when I have off from work, I take off from my entire life (including this blog).

However, I did go to the gym. And I realized something while I was there. No, I didn’t learn how painful it is to be twisted into a yoga pretzel. No, I didn’t learn how many drops of sweat could fall on a treadmill before it short-circuited. No, I didn’t learn whether people could actually see how long my leg hair was through my pants, especially since I forgot to shave.

I learned that it is really important to go to the bathroom before you start working out. I personally take a Zumba class, as I have noted before, and I learned that jumping, twisting, and twirling can take a toll on your muscles, as well as your bladder.

But this isn’t news. Anyone who has been to the gym directly after dinner can tell you that it is best to wait a bit before trying to burn off the calories.

Rather, it’s the crazy, metaphorical perspective that I gained from this ordinary experience that is really mind-blowing.

You see, after the fourth time I halfheartedly kicked my leg up in the air to dance along and try to escape the notice of the instructor while similarly hoping to quell the discomfort that was aching in my abdomen, I realized that I was purposefully holding myself back by not going to the bathroom.

And that, in a greater sense, is the same feeling that anyone might be having about his or her life. This urgency inside that simultaneously holds us back from what we want to be doing and yet pushes us forward toward something new so that we are stuck somewhere in between.

Real or not, most people view obstacles as excuses to not try as hard at something. Usually, we hold ourselves back because we are too scared or nervous for the future. So, we try to convince ourselves that we don’t deserve the opportunity that we might want or even that we are too good for it. We try to tell ourselves that we are right to get in our own way so that we won’t get hurt. For awhile last night, I didn’t mind that I had to pee because I didn’t have to work out as hard, and that, as anyone who exercises knows, was okay with me. It was an excuse that I maintained for myself that helped me in the moment, but also sabotaged my future (hopefully, fitter) self.

Because the truth is you’re only hurting yourself if you hold yourself back.

All you have to do (which is all I had to do, too) is release. I simply had to go to the bathroom to have full range of movement, if I had decided to do so. And since life is all about choices, you can apply to a new job, find a mate, or yes, even achieve your dreams if you simply choose to stop holding yourself back.

I agree that it can sometimes be painful, difficult, or downright uncomfortable to put your best foot forward, to invest your energy and effort into something. But it is even more so when you realize how much time you have wasted by not believing in yourself. Just like going to the bathroom, you are the only one standing (or sitting) in your way.

It Would Be A Beautiful Day Out if it Weren’t for the Wind

Bailey GunnLeave a comment

I wrote this poem the other day, on a windy day, naturally:

People often say,

“If it weren’t for the wind,

it would be a nice day.”

And I laugh because

this acknowledgement

and dismissal is so very perfunct. 

So, I reply, 

“Yes. And if it weren’t for life

we’d all be dead.”

Oh, to strike at the heart of something

with only half a heart.

The truth is we can no more call off the wind than the wind can dye itself blue. Why do we allow for such thoughts? We can’t change the circumstances or the situation, so why do we spend time wishing things were different? Why do we ask the wind to stop blowing so that we can have a nice day?

And certainly, it would be nice if some things were different. If humans could live in peace. If passion were a check payable to all of us. If chocolate cookies were not so tempting. But you don’t often hear someone say, Oh, if only they would destroy all of the chocolate chip cookie factories in the world, then I wouldn’t have to deal with this vice.

So, why do we do it? Why do we wish for circumstances to be different when we know (either consciously or subconsciously) that they will not change?

We wish for things to be different when we believe that we do not have the power to deal with our issues, when we haven’t prepared for them. (We forgot to bring the patio furniture inside and now all of the chairs have been blown into the neighbor’s yard, kind of thing.)

But that is (and never will be) completely true. We always have the tools to deal with our current situation. Because really, if you simply accepted something as an obstacle to overcome instead of an inconvenience to gripe about, you would figure out how to hurdle past it in the same amount of time you would take to complain about it. And you always have that choice.

The wind is not something to be wished away. And to be honest, it is not always something to be marveled at. (It’s blustery, intrusive, and fearsome.) But at worst, it is something to be accepted. This is the same attitude through which you must approach life, especially the days that are hard to swallow. Like wind, life can either be a breath of fresh air or a strong gust to blow up your skirt. You must decide how to view it.

Why I Don’t Hate Humanity

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Believe me, it would be easy to do so.

In the past 24 hours, I have heard on the news that a man killed his ex-wife and all of her family. I heard that a man held a number of people hostage in an Australian cafe. And finally, worst of all, I heard that 130 children were killed in Pakistan due to a terrorist attack.

Of course, I heard about all of this because our media holds closely to the adage: “If it bleeds, it leads.” I know all of these details because the bad dominates the good in the nightly news. And, if you were listening to the nightly news well, nightly, you may hold to the impression that humans, on the whole, are going to hell in a hand basket of their own making.

And if you believed that, well, I couldn’t very well tell you that you were wrong. Because that is what it looks like right now, doesn’t it? If I was an alien, swooping in from outer space, I would probably hightail it out of the Earth’s atmosphere. In fact, I would let the humans duke it out instead of using my own alien firepower to dominate the race. As an alien, I would grab a snack and watch the show.

But of course, this is all because we’ve been stretched as tight as drums and instead of admitting that we have a problem or that we need help, we’d rather grab a gun. It is fascinating that in a time of extreme connectivity, in a time where all of your friends and family are a text away, that so many of us should feel so alone, so ostracized. But we all do.

So, why don’t I hate humanity for all this? Why don’t I hate them for not recognizing all of this before it is too late? Is it because I am human too? Is it because I recognize that everyone has a good side and a bad side? Is it because I know that everyone is fighting a hard battle inside? No. Although I wish I could be a better person myself, believing all of that.

I don’t hate humanity because we are incredibly predictable. For every action, there is an opposite and equal reaction for us. If there is love in the world, then there is hate. If there is violence, then there is peace. If there is pain, then there is joy. No matter what, there is an equal amount of everything.

It’s a beautiful system. Because whenever there is ignorance and darkness, there is someone trying to provide knowledge and light. Now, there is such a thing as a false sense of justice. Sometimes the tidal wave of humanity is too great to squelch a single evil thing in the world. We crush it and smother it, and that means that a great thing cannot rise in its place because it has been doused too quickly. We can’t learn from it. So, we must be careful of leveraging too great of a remedy for too small of a poison and vice versa.

And mind you, I said I don’t hate humanity. That’s a far cry from loving them. But I’m working on it. One day at a time. Because as I’ve said, when there is room for hate, there is also room for love.

Negativity is like Double-Dipping

Bailey GunnLeave a comment

Man, I love guacamole. The perfect ripened avocado, with lemon, tomatoes, peppers, and crunchy, munchy chips. Yum! (Seriously, I sometimes judge parties on the sole fact of whether guacamole is available.)

Any dip is easily the best snack. But is there anything worse than a double-dipper?

You always know that guy or girl. That person who is so caught up in a conversation over by the snack table that he or she doesn’t notice that he or she has put the same chip that he or she has only just bitten and then he or she puts. it. back. in. the. dip.

Horrors of horrors. Now, you’re the only witness to some irrevocable crime that you need to keep to yourself for the rest of night, as you silently mourn the end of the guacamole when there is a full bowl of it on the table.

So, what’s the big deal? All of the person’s saliva and germs are simply contaminating a perfectly good bowl of dip. It doesn’t taste any different. It’s all in your head.

But so is negativity. Negativity is in your head, too. That’s because being decidedly negative is just like double-dipping. You’re spreading your bad feelings, and whether you know it or not, you are upsetting people around you. Sure, you get some perks from double-dipping. After all, waste not, want not. But you are completely polluting your environment (and that dip). And from then on, the people around you can’t experience the situation without feeling negative. In short, it ruins everything. (Dramatic? Maybe. But you get the point.)

So, be careful what you are negative about. Try not to live under a dark cloud. Try not to bring everyone else down because you can. It can change how people feel not only about a situation, but about you. Anyway, you don’t want to be known as a double-dipper, do you? (Sure, there are worse things…but not when it comes to guacamole.)

In the end, negativity is pervasive. So, try to take the chip off your shoulder and definitely don’t put it in the dip twice.

Apparently, I Never Laugh

Bailey GunnLeave a comment

No, that’s it. That’s the entire blog post.

I don’t laugh.

This was brought to my attention, intervention-style, by my family. We were all sitting around and discussing something humorous, I think. It was hard to tell. And my mother mentioned that my father, in particular, tries especially hard to make me laugh. I, ironically, laughed at this. I said, “What do you mean? I laugh. I laugh all the time.” To which, my sister chimed in. She told me that I really didn’t and that she works hard to make me laugh, too. I was a bit dumbfounded. Here everyone, had kept this weird secret from me. This weird, laughable secret. Was I the joker, so serious? It was impossible. Wasn’t it?

So, I had a bit of an out of body experience. That is, I observed myself in daily life. I tried to track how I reacted to most things. I tried to note what happened after anyone said just about anything to me. And besides chuckling to myself when I unironically listened to “Milkshake” in a quiet office, the family was absolutely correct. I don’t laugh. And when I do laugh, it’s mostly at the expense of other people. Which is downright terrible.

What I have also found is that I try really hard to make other people laugh. I try to get people going by making fun of myself or poking fun at something else. Which I guess is okay. But it doesn’t make up for all of the time I have spent not laughing.

In the end, there’s two lessons here. First, try listening to yourself for a week. If you find you’re on a laugh diet, try to lighten up. I’m not saying to force it. There is absolutely nothing more awkward or annoying than a forced laugh. Just try to be a little more relaxed. Try to see the lighter side of it all. Then, if you find yourself trying to be the clown or the comic in every situation, try to let someone else have the spotlight. As any comedian can tell you, it is difficult to keep being the life of the party when you are “on” all of the time.

So, have I started laughing more? I don’t think so. Not yet. But I’m trying. And I’m thankful for my family. For however hard they try to make me laugh, I’ve never met anyone with a higher success rate than them. After all, laughter can be the best medicine, if you let it be.

Three Things That Optimism Isn’t

Bailey Gunn2 Comments

Ever since the play “Annie” came out, I think people are confused about the concept of optimism. If you haven’t seen the play, or you avoid it at all costs in order to not get the songs stuck in your head accidentally, it’s about a young orphan who is so infectiously cheerful that she actually sings when she completes her house chores. (Seriously. Who does that?) Through the twists and turns of the play, she is adopted by an exceedingly rich man and lives a happily ever after that even Hans Christian Andersen would have to applaud. And what is her constant, literal refrain throughout the darkness and gloom in her life?

The sun will come out tomorrow…

And yes, there is something in that song about betting your bottom dollar (why is she promoting gambling?) along with a generally nice message. But anyone watching the news and the over-paid meteorologists every night will know that Annie is in way over her head by attempting to predict the weather.

However, her optimism is clear, although perhaps misguided. If one has hope and believes things will turn out right, they eventually will. Maybe the sun won’t come out tomorrow, but if you allow yourself to feel it’s warm rays, you’ll feel a bit brighter.

So, why does this idea accurate in Annie’s life, but not in the weatherman’s? Mostly because it is a fictional play. But that isn’t to say that optimism doesn’t have it’s uses. It’s only that we’ve been wielding it wrong. It’s because optimism isn’t:

1. A panacea or cure-all. Sure, it will help you to feel better about your situation, which will in turn encourage you to forge ahead, but simply being optimistic about something does not guarantee that you will achieve your goals. A little cheerfulness coupled with a plan can certainly go a long way, but optimism without hard work is like a cupcake with beautiful frosting: nice to look at, but all empty calories.

2. Being happy all of the time. Some people have this view of optimism that suggests that they are always happy and full of glee and rainbows. But really, the most optimistic person in your life might be the one who is dealing with the most problems. It’s not the smile on their face that denotes a sense of optimism; it’s the amount of drive and determination they exert when faced with a challenge that appears insurmountable. I offer you my absolute favorite quote of all time by Mary Anne Radmacher for evidence of this:

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.”

3. Always looking on the bright side. Optimism doesn’t always mean that you should see the grass as greener on the other side immediately. It only means that you should definitely pick yourself up by your bootstraps once you’ve had a chance to process. Sometimes optimism means moving on, or letting things go, rather than simply grinning and bearing it. The universe won’t be fooled by you trying to believe that there is a silver lining to that catastrophic event that totally devastated you, but it does know that you will be alright in the end. And so should you. Eventually, and in due time. Remember, you can be both optimistic and clueless about what to do next. Just never be “realistic.” It doesn’t help anyone.

And there you have it. Optimism certainly worked for a little red-head orphan girl. Make it work for you.