Take Breaks

In the early days of this isolation, it’s always key to be mindful of tips that will increase the stamina of your…well, mind.

So, if you’re like me and you are on the internet all day, then you need to do me a favor and remember to TAKE. BREAKS.

On social media all day comparing yourself to everyone? TAKE A BREAK

On the coronavirus alert system to see what shenanigan is going on now? TAKE A BREAK

Working at home for hours on end? TAKE A BREAK

Eating a kit kat? TAKE A BREAK

Everyone’s anxious and everyone’s scared. And we’re all flocking to the internet to try distract, whine, cry, and be anxious together.

So, try to take breaks. You would if isolation didn’t keep you inside, so don’t forget to do it now.



Stop the World

The headlines right now make it feel like the world is stopping. And it feels like that too.

Barely anyone outside, minimal cars rolling by and that’s just what I can see outside of my window as I work from home.

It makes you feel like you’re living in a bubble.

But before you melt into the couch, know that it doesn’t have to be that way.

I mean, yes absolutely, practice social distancing. But you can still participate in your life online. Via social media you can still connect to your friends and family, and that can keep you from feeling isolated when you’re alone.

But above all:


That everything is going to be okay. We might have a new normal for awhile. But at the end of it, we’re going to be okay.

How do I know that?

Because I have to believe that, that’s why.



Still Haven’t Found

I have a really friendly reminder for you tonight.

Be your damn self. 

Because in this world of retweets, reposts, and videos on how to make yourself look just like that other person with black magic and make up (same thing in my book), you can lose yourself completely. 

You can spend way too long looking at someone else’s pictures trying to figure out why you don’t look like that or why you’re not on a tropical island like them or even why you don’t have a smile on your face. 

And I’m not saying don’t be inspired by other people. After all, mimicry is the best form of flattery (especially for writers). But be yourself first. 

And if you haven’t found someone that embodies what you’re looking for, be your own. Don’t fit molds. Kick stereotypes in the teeth. 

Because if you haven’t found what you’re looking for, it’s because it’s been right inside you all along. 

It’s Totally Okay to Forget Things

Today, I started my morning looking at squirrels.

Ah, yes. It is that time of year when the squirrels make themselves look busy and bury everything they can’t stuff into their little troublesome cheeks into the ground. I watched a particularly robust squirrel take a few bites out of each piece of food he found. Then, like a person out to dinner asking for a doggy bag, he hopped a few feet and immediately buried the morsel. He did this time and time again, digging his small hole, dropping it in. And leaving it.

And that’s the kicker, he just leaves it. I mean, will he ever come back? Will he ever return to his literal root cellar with all of his winter wares inside?

The fact is no. Just no. He isn’t guaranteed to come back. And even if he draws himself a little map, on a little leaf, of all the places he buried his treasures, he still won’t come back. Because by then, he’s forgotten how many holes he has buried. Or what he even buried. Or why he buried those snacks in the first place. Because he’s only a squirrel, and he can’t be expected to remember all of these things. (And neither should you be expected to remember everything, either. But we’re getting to that.)

So, what happens? Does he emotionally berate himself like humans do? Will the squirrel call himself stupid and hit his head against an oak tree until he remembers where his food went? No. He leaves that seed in the ground. And it eventually grows into an oak tree itself. Out of his mistake, something else grows, something else is given a chance to flourish. If he didn’t forget, if he had simply eaten it (like he seems to have eaten everything else in the yard), we wouldn’t have all of the beautiful trees that were planted by accident. He may see it as forgetfulness, but really it is forgiveness, which is always a gift you do not know you can give until you do.

And so, when I watched this little squirrel busily bury his food, but also his memories in a way, I realized that we were very much alike. Or perhaps, I realized that humans needed to be more like squirrels. That is, we need to allow ourselves to forget.

Because we’ve become so consumed with documenting our entire lives. Taking pictures of ourselves, our meals, our surroundings. And of course, sharing them with others, so their memories become our memories. This behavior has become so instinctual that we would put ourselves in danger just to get that perfect picture.

Tonight, I’m here to say that it is okay to forget. More than that, it is okay to not document everything around you. It’s okay to let things wash over you. It’s okay to let things leave. It is okay to forget! Your perception of things is warped anyway. You will never remember things as they truly are. And no picture taken on your phone can help you with that.

In general, I think we’re all spending a lot more time dwelling on things when we should be burying our nuts and forgetting them. Letting them grow into tall trees to shade us or letting them stay buried under a frozen ground. The choice has been, and always will be, yours. However you choose to forget what you must is your own: will you fortify yourself with old pain and memories, or will they become your past?

In the end, we need to remember, ironically, that forgetting is good.

And you need to be able to forgive yourself for forgetting, too. Now, I don’t mean telling yourself it is okay when you forget to pick your child up from school. Yeah, that’s not good.

But if you forget something occasionally, please let yourself off the hook. We are human, after all. Which, I know what you are thinking: humans are smarter than squirrels, we have bigger brains, so we should be able to remember. And maybe that’s true. But maybe something in us wants to forget. Maybe something in us is hardwired to glitch. Maybe something in us wants that oak tree to grow instead.

So, soak in the memories, but also let them flow back out, having been filtered through you. We’re only here for a limited amount of time, and you can’t take any of it with you. All you can do is what the squirrel does: take a few bites, bury it, and move forward.

Social Media Shut Up

Everyone is living a double life.

We all live the life we normally live (commuting to work, watching bad television, snoozing our alarm) and the one we live on social media (partying with our friends, taking beautiful pictures of scenic landscapes, living the quote unquote life.)

However, as the double life implies, we are rarely our true selves in one life or the other. We can’t be two people at once, after all. And to be extremely blunt, no one is perfect, with or without photoshop on their profile pictures.

So, why, pray tell, do I see post after post that goes something like this:



IF YOU LOVE THE (band, actor/actress, movie, album, etc.) THEN YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US OR BE FRIENDS WITH US.

Why? Why is this a thing?

First of all, not everyone has to have the same preference or opinion as you. Do you really want someone to think the exact same way as you all of the time?

But secondly, why wouldn’t you allow someone the opportunity to learn and educate themselves? If you are going to say that you will not associate with people who aren’t feminists for example, you’re limiting yourself and that person as well. What if he or she suddenly understands what it is to be a feminist after talking to you? Or, what if you are shown a different way of thinking because they have a different opinion about feminism in general? A conversation with this person doesn’t mean you have to change what you believe, it just means you are showing another person some respect (which we all need to give a little more of.)

In the end, you’re just making a reverse stereotype. Instead of applying a generality to a group of people, you are singling out one characteristic and avoiding anyone who has it. Why? Why can’t we look at a person as a whole, and say, well he likes Taylor Swift (which I don’t like) but we both love guacamole (which is great.) We all take the good with the bad in our daily life, so why not with people?

Now, granted, I can understand if you are struggling to reconcile deep differences with a person. It may be hard to see eye to eye with a neo-Nazi, for example. But you have something in common with everyone: you are both human. We all are.

And we need to start focusing on that more. We need to concentrate on the fact that we are all writing our own story and we are all just trying to get home. We all have likes and dislikes and loathings and lovings. So, tell me. Why do we go on social media and think, suddenly, that since our opinion has an audience, it is somehow valid and better than everyone else’s? (As I write on a blog emblazoned with my own name…)

The point is, can we step away from social media, with our fiery social (media) justice, and give people a chance to educate themselves before we completely denounce them as ignorant? We have the entire Internet, but it is up to us to seek out the answers and help each other along the way.