Critique Partner

A critique partner is someone who looks at your writing before it’s sent out to query and gives you a first look of what someone might say about your writing, good or bad.

And while this is really essential to writing, (shoutout to my friend and critique partner, Chelsea who takes my writing as seriously as I do), I think also that people should have a critique partner for life.

Someone who isn’t afraid to tell you what’s wrong and how you can fix it. Someone who nudges you in the right direction when you can’t seem to pick a direction at all. Someone who loves what you’re doing and is waiting for you to do more of it.

So be unafraid to seek the opinions of your critique partners. We all have those people in our lives. Make sure they are a partner, and not just critiquing for the sake of it. You want them to grow with you.

Love,

Bailey

Give Up Just a Little

I never, ever give up on the things or people I love.

I read books even if they stink halfway through, I try to eat everything on my plate, and even though I took a break from blogging, I’m here now.

But it’s okay to give up…just a little.

The other day I was writing my novel and I couldn’t get a scene to work. I stressed about it and grew frustrated. The more I sat and worked on it, the more the hours seemed to drag on and the more I got angry that I was working on it for so long. It was a vicious cycle.

I finally gave up for the day and went and sat on the couch. But the story still nudged at me, and a few hours later, I came back and everything was fresh and new. I suddenly knew how to solve the problem.

But in the act of stepping away from it just for a little while, I was able to clear my head. If you give up, just a little, every once in awhile, you might be able to step back with a fresh perspective. As long as it’s temporary and not a permanent giving up, then you’ll always have a better time coming back.

Love,

Bailey

One at a Time

I’m not a good multi-tasker.

I write song lyrics when I’m listening to music and writing at the same time. I read sentences 10 times over when I’m listening to television and reading a book. And I burn things when I’m on my phone and cooking.

Studies show no one is a good multi-tasker. Because we’re not really doing two things at once. We’re doing one thing and the other thing is taking a backseat.

Which is why my advice today is that you should, whenever possible, try to focus on one problem, task, thing at a time.

Take me for instance. I am currently writing my first novel. I am not, also, learning to juggle while I do it (although novel writing is a juggling act in its own rite.)

And neither should you. I mean, do two things at one time. You can learn to juggle if you want.

Especially during quarantine, try to minimize your multi-tasking. I know it’s tempting, especially if you’re working from home and home-schooling your kids all at the same time. But trust me, your kids will thank you later if you step away from the laptop, get them started with what they need to do, and then go back to what you were doing. And your brain will thank you too.

So try less multi and more only. There will be time for you to try other things, like juggling, when all of this goes back to normal. I promise.

Love,

Bailey

 

 

 

Changing

People change a lot over the years. And more than just from child to grown-up. New friends come, old friends go. Habits die hard, and people go through trauma and defeat to get out on the other side whole and new.

I personally now love Taylor Swift, when I used to hate her. I listen to her music in the shower all of the time.

Okay, okay, I’ve changed in other ways too. I want different things out of life than I used to. I love dyeing my hair different colors to fit my mood. I’m not so embarrassed of myself like I used to be when I was younger.

People change. And we all need to remember that change is coming for all of us. We can’t go back to the “normal” we once had, it wasn’t working for us. Because change broadens our horizons and helps us to grow, whether musically or otherwise.

So, if you’re a little uncomfortable right now, scared and uncertain, that’s okay. That’s just you growing wings where there was nothing before. And soon enough, you’ll be able to fly.

Love,

Bailey

Just Be

I take Sundays seriously at my house. It’s my chance to do everything that  I’ve been wanting to do all week, which is eat good food, read books, and watch television.

Yesterday, I was bouncing in between all three of these activities when I realized I wasn’t hungry anymore, I didn’t want to read, and I didn’t want to watch TV.

So what was I supposed to do? I played on my phone for awhile but even that got boring. I sat in silence for a few minutes and then a calm washed over me. In my haste to do something, I had forgotten how to just be.

If time allows, if your family allows, and if you allow, try to just be for 15-20 minutes a day.

It does wonders for the mind and body. And remember, we are human BEings not human doings.

(I know, cheesy, but I’m right.)

Love,

Bailey

 

I’ll Never Know If I Don’t Try

My friend Marnie wrote me a letter today and in it she said the title phrase. She was talking about planting tomato seeds but I’m thinking this phrase contains volumes and multitudes within it.

Think of all you’ve accomplished within the last few weeks, or the last day, or the last hour. Think about how overwhelming and scary it was to start. But lean into how good it feels to have finished. And you would have never known you could do it if you didn’t try it.

The problem is our minds tell us we can’t do something to try and evade failure. But failure is a part of everything we do. We’re supposed to fail if we want to get better. That’s the only way to go about it.

So, when you’re doubting yourself, remember that you’ll never know if you don’t try. And if you’re not trying something, you’ll never learn anything new. From planting tomato seeds to writing a novel, it all begins with trying.

Love,

Bailey

Warm Compress

I have a stye in my eye (and I’m pretty sure they named it that because it rhymes) and it’s pretty much the hangnail of infections. (It’s just when your eyelid gets clogged, like a pimple.) It’s definitely not too serious, but it is rather painful when I blink. (Which I’ve noticed is ALL THE TIME.)

Cue my discomfort. So, I went on the trusty internet today to see if I could find any home remedies for it. Over and over again, I saw that the best way to deal with a stye is to hold a warm washcloth over your eye for around 15 minutes to help ease away the pain and infection (which I kind of already knew). But no drugs, no surgeries. Just warm water and a clean washcloth.

It struck me that a remedy that we (as humans) have been using for years is still what the doctor orders years later.

So, I realized that simple home remedies are the things that will get us through this crisis. THAT IS NOT TO SAY THAT YOU SHOULD TREAT CORONAVIRUS WITH HONEY AND LEMON. GO TO A DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE SYMPTOMS.

Here’s my home remedy that you can use:

1 cup of laughter

3 heaping spoonfuls of your favorite meal

2 tablespoons of a good book

1 pinch of warm blankets

and a dash of relaxation

Mix together and apply liberally. Repeat if desired.

Love,

Bailey

If It Makes You Happy

then it can’t be that baaaaad!

Okay, Sheryl Crow aside, it can be pretty easy to feel guilty about some things in these difficult times.

It’s all: why am I eating that and why am I not doing anything and I’ve read this book/watched this movie 1,000 times…why am I doing that?

And the answer is: it probably makes you happy. And happiness is so hard to find in these times that in some ways, it probably doesn’t matter why you’re doing it. If you can find some pleasure in it instead of sadness, or anger, or apathy then there’s probably a good reason for you to do it again.

And if it’s the simple reason that it happens to make you happy, then why not?

Reach for the simple and good things during this time. It can sometimes be all we have.

Love,

Bailey

Miserable

Today’s weather was miserable. It had strong winds and a dousing rain. It was cloudy, it was muddy, and it was most definitely wet.

And so I was a bit miserable too. It’s a Monday, it’s rainy, and it’s just another reason to stay inside (as if I needed one).

But today was also a reminder that whatever you’re feeling right now about the quarantine, about social distancing, and about the virus, you can and should be feeling it.

You can be sad, disappointed, mad, tired, frustrated, relaxed, grateful, anything!

If you’re feeling it, then it’s a valid feeling.

So, if you are going to take today to be miserable, like me, then have at it!

All feelings are good. And no one should tell you how to feel.

Love,

Bailey

To Do

In this time of staying inside, it’s easy to look around and see the things that you need to tend to and that should be on your “to do” list.

But the problem with that is that you end up not really seeing the things for what they are.

For example, I have a large pile of TBR (to be read) books. Actually, most of my bookshelves I haven’t read. So, when I look at my ever-growing pile next to my bed or on my reading cart, I can’t help but want to feel an overwhelming sense of accomplishment for when I finish them. When what I should feel is excitement and anticipation at reading a new story.

So, the next time that you look at your “to do” list, try to feel a sense of gratefulness and appreciation instead of anxiety. See that pile of laundry is actually a gift that you were able to afford all of those clothes. Think about the great meals you had on the dishes you have to wash. And remember the joy in growing things when you look at the dark patches of dirt out in your garden.

Don’t see it as a chore but a chance to see something beautiful.

Love,

Bailey