Tag: belief

It’s Not the Years in Your Life

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Humans. We’re extending our lives a little more everyday. Doctors actually printed out a 3D heart so that they could save the life of a baby recently. We’re getting closer to immortality all the time. Maybe one day we can defrost Disney, become bionic, and clone our clones.

But being immortal isn’t going to help us live our lives now. In fact, it doesn’t matter how old you are, 9 or 90, you aren’t going to survive for 10 more years or even 100 if you don’t understand this basic principle: there is always time to live up to your potential.

You need to believe that you can start anew at any time. No matter how many times you have failed or how many times you have started over before. You have to know that you can learn or try anything new, at any age. That, just like Madonna, you can reinvent yourself.

I mean, I hear all of the time that children can learn languages quickly. A child’s brain is already mapping new ideas and connections all of the time, so what’s one more English word, one more Spanish phrase?

But what everyone assumes from this fact is that there is a small window that you have to jump through in terms of knowledge. If you don’t do something when you’re young, you will never learn to do it at all. And if you miss the opportunity, well, you miss out. Of course, this couldn’t be farther from the truth. Science does not say that we ever stop learning at a fixed point in our lives. We can discover a new language, a new skill, or a new lifestyle at any time, and we absolutely should.

Yes, it may not feel like you have a lot of time on this Earth. And it isn’t fair that we are limited to a lifetime that is synonymous with the blink of an eye on any other planet. But I assure you, you will have plenty of time to write the next award-winning screenplay, the next 700-page tome, the next best chapter of your life. That is, if you start right now and never stop.

I don’t know when you’ll die. It could be tomorrow. And it could be 500,000 tomorrows from now. But I can assure you, if you begin by squeezing every drop out of life, you will never feel as though your time is running out. Just the opposite.

Believing in Belief

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Every holiday season, the “b” word starts to form on a lot of people’s lips.

No, not that “b” word. (Although I am sure you could find some use for other “b” words in your vocabulary.) I’m talking about the other “b” word. As in, “believe.”

Suddenly, around this time of year, we are asked to believe in miracles, in Santa, in people. The holidays seem to be formed around belief.

But what about believing the rest of the year? Does belief take its own holiday? (Looking at religious institutions, I am sure that many religious leaders will tell you that it does.)

But why? Why do we only emphasize belief once a year?

Well, I say we should do something about it. We should start inviting belief in out of the cold before the holidays. We need to start believing in belief all year round.

Because belief changes everything. When you believe in yourself, you own the room. When you believe in a higher power, you feel secure and loved. When you believe that people are terrible and capable of nothing, well, you know what to expect when bad things happen, now don’t you? Belief will keep you young at heart, no matter how old you get.

And belief costs nothing. It does not expire. And just because someone may have a different belief than you does not mean that yours will be lessened.

Of course, I understand why people don’t. Belief in anything, not just religious faith, makes us vulnerable. It suggests that we have a weakness. It gives our enemies the rope to make a noose. But it doesn’t have to be this way. If we allowed ourselves to have beliefs, then we could then tolerate them in others.

So, this holiday season you should give more. You should smile more. And of course, you should believe more. But after the holidays are done, you should keep belief around. For those resolutions that you rarely, ah, resolve and beyond. Make belief as real a part of your life as the stress is, and you will be able to balance it all out. Believe me.

Life is Not a Survey

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On a scale of 1 to 5, how likely are you to throw out this survey? If you were to rate your dissatisfaction with this survey on a scale, would 10 be enough to capture your frustration?

We’ve all been there. Checking off boxes while trying to fit your personality into those boxes. (Am I a forest person or a beach person when I’m at rest?) Being asked questions that you don’t even know yourself. (How do I feel about lunar moths?)

So, why does everyone live their life as if they were filling out a survey? Oh, passions? I only have passions that can fit in this 250 character box. No! You have more than one passion and that’s okay. Stop living your life like you need to pursue your one and only passion in life, and if you don’t you will be a failure. Anyone who has ever succeeded at something has not made their life revolve around that one thing. For instance, plenty of successful writers have had other passions. Mostly alcohol and loose women, but you get the picture.

And why does everyone hand out their life decisions in survey form? Should I do this? Will this make you upset? What do you think? Are you somewhat satisfied with our friendship? Not at all satisfied? WHO CARES. Do what it is that moves you. Do not ask for permission. Do not poll the audience. The right people will come along for the ride. And you can live without their opinion of you. I promise.

And finally, as much as your future employers would like you to believe this, your personality or aptitude cannot be ascertained through a static survey. You are a living, breathing piece of art. Just because they can identify the medium in which you painted yourself does not mean that they know you. You won’t know how well you play with others until you try.

In the end, don’t let yourself stumble on the questions of life. If you look hard enough, you will find that you had the answers the whole time.

Gullible Is Written in the Title of This Blog Post

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No, really. I’m not trying to fool you.

But unfortunately, everyone else is.

I mean, we say that the battle (or balance) of good and evil governs the entire world.

But that isn’t the real problem. How the world is actually divided is between gullible people and the people that take advantage, or in some cases look out for, said gullible people. (And I don’t have to tell you who has the upper hand, most times.)

The gullible people are the ones who genuinely believe that people look out for each other and that when push comes to shove, everyone will hold the door open for them, even when they are 20 feet away. The non-gullible people have more of an edge to them, and they will likely poke things with a stick before they make a decision about anything.

But let me be clear. There is nothing wrong with being EITHER type of person. But like I said, if you are the former instead of the latter, you may be sort of surprised by how people can take advantage of your “good” nature. At the same time, if you are the latter, you are going to be sort of surprised about how absolutely trusting some people can be, about how they have managed to stay alive so long, why someone hasn’t kidnapped them off the street.

All I am saying is that we need both kinds of people for this world to function. We need the non-gullibles to look out for their counterparts. And we need the gullible people to show others how to believe in each other when absolutely necessary.

No doubt you can tell which one I am. And I am constantly struggling between the two, trying to stop eating out of people’s hands, trying to get out of the way if they move to slap me. But the point is, I have to be who I am.

So, I am going to keep looking up at the ceiling, looking for the word gullible there. But I am really hoping that someone steps in before I get too much of a crick in my neck.

What’s Important

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They say to stick to what’s important. In writing a plot, and in the plot of life.

But what happens when the “important things” in life are always changing? In middle school, the important thing was to have a lot of friends (and not be the last one to have a date to the dance). In high school, there were similar goals, alongside of being in tons of clubs and extracurricular activities in order to create a robust college application. Then college arrived, where priorities changed on a daily basis (do I want to go to this party, or do I want to finish this paper? Why don’t I do both at the same time?) After that came the real world where finding a job, not to mention one in your field that actually fulfills your wildest fantasies and satiates your passion, is paramount.

So, how do you focus on what’s important when the line blurs everyday? When our values change, and we have a hard time discerning permanence from instant gratification? I can assure you that the National Honor Society elections were incredibly critical for me about 5 years ago, but now I can assure you that my status as the president of the National Honor Society has never come up in conversation. (Yes, the president for NHS now runs a cheeky blog that complains and preaches a lot to strangers on the Internet.)

Truthfully, you simply need to accept the transient nature of goals and ideals. They are going to change as you reach them, or you are going to modify them to better fit your own needs. Once you recognize an accomplishment as signifying the very trophy you may have received for it (that is, a symbol of your hard work that is placed on a dusty shelf and revisited seldom), you will begin to free yourself up for the next one. Goals are meant to be reached and set aside so that new ones can crop up in their place.

What’s important in your life should never be considered a constant or a staple. What’s important is only important for a short amount of time. So, if you worry that your friends, family, or religion is not playing as big of a part in your life than it once did, it means that you are growing to fit new ideas. You need to wear your values as a second skin, that sloughs off cells and regrows new ones to fit the growing dimensions of you. Without doing that, you limit yourself tremendously.

So, go naked in your new skin. Be proud of what you value, but do not let it control or define you. What you believe in is as impermanent as your own short life. Don’t be fooled into thinking that what’s important is truly, after all, always important.

Adults Should Read More Fairy Tales

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For my job, I read a lot. And I usually come across some truly interesting pieces. I’ve read satires, plays, allegories, dictionaries, and yes, nonfiction.

But what seems to be the most accessible for me (due to good ol’ http://www.gutenberg.org and the copyright laws of this land that enforce the “public domain”) are children’s stories and fairy tales.

I simply find it so beautiful that there are so many stories around the world that have the same  moral or lesson as some of our most familiar tales but are couched in a uniquely different culture with recognizable and distinguishable characters. And you can find them all, spanning entire nations but all having a common thread. They truly unify humanity in a way that no other medium can.

I’ve actually had so much fun reading fairy tales and children’s stories that I had to ask myself: why do we leave them on our bookshelf after only a few years of enjoyment? Sure, there are many media empires that have been made from a product that was geared toward “children” but have since captured the imagination of all ages. And yes, many children’s stories have a decidedly darker and sharper edge that makes us scratch our heads, wondering, “Why did my parents let me read this as a child?”

And yet, there are some that I believe to be so universal and applicable that we should carry them with us throughout our lives. I’ve selected two for you tonight, to share with you and that will (hopefully) provide you with the right message at the right time.

The Sailor Man

Once upon a time, two children came to the house of a sailor man, who lived beside the salt sea; and they found the sailor man sitting in his doorway knotting ropes.
“How do you do?” asked the sailor man.
“We are very well, thank you,” said the children, who had learned manners, “and we hope you are the same. We heard that you had a boat, and we thought that perhaps you would take us out in her, and teach us how to sail, for that is what we most wish to know.”
“All in good time,” said the sailor man. “I am busy now, but by-and-by, when my work is done, I may perhaps take one of you if you are ready to learn. Meantime here are some ropes that need knotting; you might be doing that, since it has to be done.” And he showed them how the knots should be tied, and went away and left them.
When he was gone the first child ran to the window and looked out.
“There is the sea,” he said. “The waves come up on the beach, almost to the door of the house. They run up all white, like prancing horses, and then they go dragging back. Come and look!”

“I cannot,” said the second child. “I am tying a knot.”
“Oh!” cried the first child, “I see the boat. She is dancing like a lady at a ball; I never saw such a beauty. Come and look!”
“I cannot,” said the second child. “I am tying a knot.”
“I shall have a delightful sail in that boat,” said the first child. “I expect that the sailor man will take me, because I am the eldest and I know more about it. There was no need of my watching when he showed you the knots, because I knew how already.”
Just then the sailor man came in.
“Well,” he said, “my work is over. What have you been doing in the meantime?”
“I have been looking at the boat,” said the first child. “What a beauty she is! I shall have the best time in her that ever I had in my life.”
“I have been tying knots,” said the second child.
“Come, then,” said the sailor man, and he held out his hand to the second child. “I will take you out in the boat, and teach you to sail her.”
“But I am the eldest,” cried the first child, “and I know a great deal more than she does.”
“That may be,” said the sailor man; “but a person must learn to tie a knot before he can learn to sail a boat.”
“But I have learned to tie a knot,” cried the child. “I know all about it!”
“How can I tell that?” asked the sailor man.

I love this story because it seems to be directly aimed at every know-it-all (me) and millenial (also me) that I know. We all think that we know how to do certain things, and maybe we do. But take my advice, if you are starting a new job or beginning a new career path, do not scoff when they teach you how to do something you know how to do. They will never understand the true extent of your talent unless they see it. (An unfortunate trait of humans, yes, that we must see to believe, but it is true.)

Why the Evergreen Trees Keep Their Leaves in Winter

One day, a long, long time ago, it was very cold; winter was coming. And all the birds flew away to the warm south, to wait for the spring. But one little bird had a broken wing and could not fly. He did not know what to do. He looked all round, to see if there was any place where he could keep warm. And he saw the trees of the great forest.
“Perhaps the trees will keep me warm through the winter,” he said.
So he went to the edge of the forest, hopping and fluttering with his broken wing. The first tree he came to was a slim silver birch.
“Beautiful birch-tree,” he said, “will you let me live in your warm branches until the springtime comes?”
“Dear me!” said the birch-tree, “what a thing to ask! I have to take care of my own leaves through the winter; that is enough for me. Go away.”
The little bird hopped and fluttered with his broken wing until he came to the next tree. It was a great, big oak-tree.
“O big oak-tree,” said the little bird, “will you let me live in your warm branches until the springtime comes?”
“Dear me,” said the oak-tree, “what a thing to ask! If you stay in my branches all winter you will be eating my acorns. Go away.”
So the little bird hopped and fluttered with his broken wing till he came to the willow-tree by the edge of the brook.

“O beautiful willow-tree,” said the little bird, “will you let me live in your warm branches until the springtime comes?”
“No, indeed,” said the willow-tree; “I never speak to strangers. Go away.”
The poor little bird did not know where to go; but he hopped and fluttered along with his broken wing. Presently the spruce-tree saw him, and said, “Where are you going, little bird?”
“I do not know,” said the bird; “the trees will not let me live with them, and my wing is broken so that I cannot fly.”
“You may live on one of my branches,” said the spruce; “here is the warmest one of all.”
“But may I stay all winter?”
“Yes,” said the spruce; “I shall like to have you.”
The pine-tree stood beside the spruce, and when he saw the little bird hopping and fluttering with his broken wing, he said, “My branches are not very warm, but I can keep the wind off because I am big and strong.”
So the little bird fluttered up into the warm branch of the spruce, and the pine-tree kept the wind off his house; then the juniper-tree saw what was going on, and said that she would give the little bird his dinner all the winter, from her branches. Juniper berries are very good for little birds.
The little bird was very comfortable in his warm nest sheltered from the wind, with juniper berries to eat.
The trees at the edge of the forest remarked upon it to each other:
“I wouldn’t take care of a strange bird,” said the birch.
“I wouldn’t risk my acorns,” said the oak.
“I would not speak to strangers,” said the willow. And the three trees stood up very tall and proud.
That night the North Wind came to the woods to play. He puffed at the leaves with his icy breath, and every leaf he touched fell to the ground. He wanted to touch every leaf in the forest, for he loved to see the trees bare.
“May I touch every leaf?” he said to his father, the Frost King.
“No,” said the Frost King, “the trees which were kind to the bird with the broken wing may keep their leaves.”
So North Wind had to leave them alone, and the spruce, the pine, and the juniper-tree kept their leaves through all the winter. And they have done so ever since.

I absolutely love this story. If I had enough space on my body, and if I could find a tattoo artist with a steady hand I would get it permanently inked on my body, I love it that much. I love the fact that this poor little bird was sheltered by these awesome, generous trees. I love the line in which the other trees stand up tall and proud for turning away someone in need; I can almost feel their foolishness. In the end, it’s a simple lesson but such an important one. Be kind to those in need of help. You may not receive anything for your generosity, but do it anyway.

I’ve just given you a taste of a world you knew when you were young. Find these and more fanciful stories here: http://etc.usf.edu/lit2go/ 

Now, my lesson for you is to not ever grow up, but if you must, do us all a favor and try to remember these important lessons from your childhood.

When Animals Speak

Bailey Gunn3 Comments

I believe in just about everything, which makes me a bit more gullible than most. (This also makes me really fun at parties. Go ahead, tell Bailey a completely fake story and see how long it takes her to realize Big Foot doesn’t invite hikers to his bonfires.)

Believing in everything is sometimes hard, though. When you know deep in your heart that fairies, mermaids, angels, gnomes, elves, psychics, miracles, spirits, and demons exist, and then you are told that you’re being “crazy” or “childish,” when you express these opinions, well, it can really ruin things. Especially when you are trying to set up a tea party for all of your magical friends when you are six…and then again when you are in your twenties.

But in all seriousness, it’s not a secret that I’m a bit more trusting (and a bit more superstitious) than most. I don’t cross black cats or my fork and knife, just to name a few. But you have to remember, I am also an English major. We are trained and wired to believe that the curtains in our favorite stories really represent repression and that the snide comment made by a side character will actually foreshadow the entire twist ending. You may call it “book paranoia,” but an English major will call it “interpreting a text.”

Speaking of English major things, I also own a lot of books, particularly about things that I believe in. I have never regretted buying any of them, but I have bought one in particular that has been worth every penny. It is called Animal Speak by Ted Andrews. From cover to cover, it covers every animal in the animal kingdom, great to small. It is similar to a reference book in that you can look at it when you cross paths with a specific creature, and it provides the “meaning” of your encounter but also daily “animal magic” practices.

I don’t usually use it for the normal animals I see: spiders, squirrels, and sparrows. But tonight was, for lack of a better word, unusual. On a walk, I saw a fox, a deer, a baby bunny, and a large skunk. Being a believer of signs and premonitions, I had to take a look in my book. So, I’m taking you along with me.

From Animal Speak:

The Fox-Of course, its obvious meaning is one of cunning and stealth. But foxes also represent feminine energy. Much of fox folklore in some Native American cultures tell of a man’s surprise when he discovers his wife is actually a fox. Strangely enough, my mother and sister are not foxes, but they did join me on the walk. Perhaps the fox’s feminine energy was acknowledging the same within us.

The Deer-As you would expect, the deer represents gentleness and innocence. But also maternity. Andrews talks extensively about a deer mother’s loyalty to her children, nurturing and teaching her fawns to eat and run from danger. This is truly applicable because my sister and I still live with our mother. Perhaps, again, the deer was acknowledging our bond.

A Baby Bunny-(Or “Rabbits” to people who have no soul) quite obviously represent new life and fertility. But I don’t think that this meaning is supposed to be taken literally. I think it is supposed to mean good tidings of new beginnings ahead. (And that’s the thing about belief, you can twist it to fit anything you want.) The book goes on to say that mother bunnies leave their nest in the daytime as to not attract predators. However, the little one we found was out on its own. Perhaps this little guy was saying that it’s time to explore the world and extend past our comfort zones.

The Skunk-We can all recognize that distinguished (and putrid) skunk smell, even though we may not want to. What we don’t readily recognize is how much skunks command our respect. Andrews points out that we give them wide berths, yet they are peaceful and ambling animals. The skunk, according to my book, represents self-esteem. I am told that when I see a skunk, I should be mindful of my self-image and how people perceive me. Perhaps I will be able to control how the world sees me, once I step outside of my comfort zone.

In the end, we can find meaning all around us. But it is up to us to seek it out and apply it. Who knows what you may find in the animal kingdom and elsewhere. But I have found that if we can piece together some meaning in our lives, then we don’t feel so small and the big questions, like why do I exist, don’t feel so daunting. So, the next time the world or a few animals speak, make sure you are listening.

A Cold Hard Look at Happy

Bailey Gunn1 Comment

Don’t cover your ears. I promise this isn’t about Pharrell’s latest hit.

But another musician has a good question for you: Laura Marling. She asks, “When were you happy, and how long has that been?” 

Well? Don’t let the good lady wait. How long has it been since you were happy?

If you’re looking at the ground, avoiding contact with this blog post because you can’t really remember the last time you were happy, I don’t blame you. And if you can remember when you were happy, but you’re ashamed because it’s been awhile, I don’t blame you either.

Because here it is, straight no chaser: we put too much pressure on ourselves to be happy. And then, when we are, it’s hard to pinpoint why.

Throughout your day, you experience a lot of emotions. A range, a wealth, a deluge. And they span the Richter scale of negativity and positivity (not necessarily in that order. Sometimes it’s more like positive, negative, negative, negative, positive, negative, positive, sleep). We collect feelings like a deck of playing cards: Stress, confidence, panic, sheer panic, confusion, delight, etc. And all of those feelings get pushed aside because someone has told you that you should be happy, all the time. Because if you’re happy, everything will be alright.

But happy is like anything else. Getting skinny won’t solve all of your confidence problems. Getting rejected from a job or from a love interest does not mean you’re the absolute worst. And likewise, being happy won’t fix all of your problems.

You just have to have a positive outlook most of the time about most of your life. Everyone gets down, everyone wants to employ a fetal position sometimes, everyone has an Achilles heel that when pinched turns you into the Incredible Hulk when you’re usually like Hello Kitty. But, somehow, everyone gets through it. And somehow, you do too.

So, let’s get technical. (Talk nerdy to me).

The definition for “happy” that you’ve been operating under goes a little something like this: feeling pleasure or enjoyment because of your life, situation, etc.

But the full definition of “happy” includes this little gem: favored by luck or fortune.

And BAM! You’re back in your high school English class, and you realize that Juliet (famous for her Romeo) does not talk to a “happy” dagger because she is feeling pleasure or enjoyment (because she isn’t) but that she is lucky that she has the dagger. (Morbid stuff, huh?)

So, maybe if we stop forcing ourselves to be pleased with our situation. If we stop trying to draw smiles on our faces when we really just feel like screaming into a pillow (or multiple pillows, or a full mattress), maybe then we could strive for happiness. But until that time, we need to see our lives as lucky or fortunate instead of simply pleasurable. We need to take the typical “happy” pressure off ourselves. If you’re gonna smile, then smile like you mean it.

By All Means, Do Drugs

Bailey GunnLeave a comment

Quoth the Raven, “Get a Life”
Edgar Allan Poe, a role model in probably no way but his writing, once offered: “I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.” And it seems that Poe encountered hours and hours of sanity, if his death is to serve as any evidence. So, what can we learn from both his tortured life and his equally tragic death? The same things that we can learn from any great existence. What Poe teaches us, and what anyone pursuing their dream might be able to tell you, is that if you accept “reality” in any form than you will never be happy. If you hear someone say any of the following:

  • be realistic, get straight
  • grow up, be an adult
  • stop dreaming

Then start running. Preferably now. And if that person is your mom, dad, sibling, boyfriend, girlfriend, closest friend, then I am even more sorry. But you’ll have to kill them.

Just kidding. But if you aren’t sure what I’m talking about, or if you’ve never graduated with an English degree, then here is a version of the “reality” I’m talking about and advising you to avoid:

You tell yourself that you have to take the job because it will pay the bills. You don’t go out for drinks on a Friday night because you didn’t plan for it. You decide that you want to go back to school because your current profession is a dead-end and a pipe-dream. You don’t believe in magic, angels, miracles, mermaids, unicorns, fairies, or even love. You tell yourself to “be realistic” or “sensible.” You refrain from laughing too loudly, and have perfected the quiet chortle behind your napkin. You scream into a pillow when you are angry. You don’t entertain the notion of “what ifs,” you simply accept the world as it is.

And I pity you.

Hobbits and Big Macs
Here’s how I disregard reality. When I was a young lass, my father read to my sister and I every night. After a time, fairy tales graduated into The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew. A love for mysteries stuck with my sister because since she still seeks out crime and cop shows on the regular. But for me, it was simply an obsession with reading that outlasted my childhood. I would read to myself out loud or silently. I would read books, signs, shampoo bottles (I love long ingredients) post-it notes, newspapers, and occasionally, tea-leaves. You can argue that I was pre-wired to love words, as nature might, or that the nurturing hand of my father reading transformed me into the bookworm that I am today. Either way, reading satisfies something in me that can’t be satiated in any other way. An itch that can only be scratched by the repertoire of Neil Gaiman, lately.

But it doesn’t matter what I read. What is important now is that I have learned to escape reality, and that I do. I read books, particularly fantasy and science fiction, because I am not at all concerned with “reality.” I am actually most happy when I am contemplating the civilization on a fallen leaf or what seas do mermaids enjoy the most or even what Hobbits would order at McDonald’s.

So, when the time comes to be “serious” or “adult” or “realistic,” well. I’m not.

A Hit of Reality
Because, without reality, people are filled with dreams and what-ifs. When individuals aren’t constrained or inhibited by their own beliefs or limitations, they are an altogether different breed. Occasionally, we see small glimpses of this type of human being. They ride trains to their mundane jobs and daydream about if their car began to fly into the air. They wish fully for a black hole to swallow them up when they are embarrassed. They imagine having the ability to shoot laser beams from their eyes to fry their boss or their ex. The point is, their imaginations run wild at these times, and their emotions flare, and they are alive.

As a result, my message is to avoid reality at all costs, whatever that means for you. If it’s drugs, alcohol and dark vices that allow you to escape for awhile, then by all means. But know that there are other ways to let yourself rise above the fray without doing as much damage to yourself and to those around you. There is reading, writing, math, art, running, walking, believing, swimming, hiking, loving, breathing or any other matter of activity. But no, I will not condemn your feints to preserve your sanity in the end, whatever you choose. I will never tell you to grow up or be more logical. And the truth is, what we need is not less addicts or problems in the world.

It is less people telling us no, less people saying that we can’t achieve all that we can be, and less people demanding that we need to be “realistic.”

In the end, if you must engage with reality, take a dose and let the effects wear off forever.