Tag: friends

25 Things I Learned At 25

Bailey GunnLeave a comment

Well, I’m almost 25. Which is why I want to count down some of the most valuable life lessons I’ve learned. You know, from being a quarter century old. That should make me really wise, right? You can be the judge.

25. Spend money on quality clothes. They’ll last longer and be a better investment.

24. In that vein, separate your laundry and check all of your pockets before you chuck it all in the washer. (I learned this the hard way…several times.)

23. Stress will kill you slowly. Find something to channel your energy into.

22. Go with the flow as much as possible. Resistance isn’t futile, but it’s exhausting.

21. Repeat after me: grades. don’t. define. you.

20. Do anything that makes you feel beautiful. Wear make-up or don’t. Do your hair or don’t. Life is too short to not feel like a goddess.

19. You may despise your sibling now, but give it time. You’ll need him/her one day. For everything.

18. Your parents have given you so much. Thank them whenever you get the chance.

17. Talk to everyone and anyone. Learn their life’s story. It’ll make you more empathetic.

16. Indulge in your pity parties. Sometimes that’s the only way to get over things.

15. Read every book from cover to cover. Every author has something to teach you.

14. Don’t feel bad about buying music you like. It’s always a good investment.

13. I’m not saying everyone needs to date their significant other for 10 years but…it worked for me.

12. Remember to be excited about things. Apathy is for people who don’t enjoy life.

11. Sing in the shower as much as possible.

10. Own a soft blanket. Trust me, you’ll need it.

9. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Make a mistake, learn, keep going.

8. Step on all the crunchy acorns and leaves you see. No, this is a rule.

7. Throw some things out once in awhile. You don’t need material possessions as much as you think you do.

6. Be the weirdo. If people aren’t friends with you, they’ll at least remember you.

5. Work out. I promise that you’ll feel better after. Even if you really, really, really don’t want to.

4. Good friends are hard to find. But once you find them, make sure you make time for them regularly.

3. Chocolate will keep the dementors from getting to you. So keep it on hand.

2. If you put out positive vibes, positive vibes will come back to you.

1. Be who you are, no matter what. It’ll make all of your decisions really easy when you know who you are.

Love,

Bailey

Yes to Death

Bailey GunnLeave a comment

Here’s how I make a new friend:

First, locate a person who is as shy or more shy than I am (difficult).

Second, run through a list of compliments I can give so I can start talking (medium).

Third, agree with everything they say (easy).

For whatever reason, that third step is really important. I don’t know where I got the idea, but I’ve always thought that people would only like me if I was incredibly agreeable. If I said yes to everything they said.

I hear myself saying, I can’t believe I found the only other accordion player in the United States! or What a coincidence! I love Nickelback! (I’m just kidding. Everyone would know that I was lying if I said that.)

Now, you have to understand that my intentions are mostly good. People bond quickly when they have something they like (or hate) in common. Which is why I like to be front and center when a person divulges their interests. And really, I’m not trying to deceive them. I’m just trying to establish a friendship. Most of the time, I really do like what they like.

But there are times that I don’t. I don’t know if it’s a fear of confrontation (which I have) or just a fear of being left out (which I also have), but I refuse to let anyone down when they talk about their preferences in that way.

And it’s taken me an entire lifetime to figure out that you don’t have to like everything someone else likes to be their friend.

In fact, discussions and conversations take more interesting turns when there is a difference in opinion. Not that you want to invite conflict necessarily. You should want to offer another perspective. Your perspective.

Because remember, your ideas and experiences are unique. The fact that a person travelled to the same country as you does not mean you’ll have a similar experience. The fact that a person grew up in the same town as you does not mean you’ll have a similar experience. Heck, a person (your sibling, parents, etc.) could have lived in the same house with you, and they still may not have had a similar experience. That’s why you should always be willing to share yours instead of simply agreeing with how someone else sees the world. There’s room enough for everyone to share their stories.

So, I’m still trying not to “yes to death” anyone anymore. But that’s not just an expression–you can really kill a friendship if you don’t have anything else to contribute than a nod and a smile. Push past the “yes.” You may find yourself in surprisingly more agreeable territory.

It’s The Sap–Sappiest Season of All

Bailey GunnLeave a comment

I’m a sensitive person. I tear up a little when Oprah gives things to people. I smile uncontrollably and coo when I see baby animals do something cute. I see it as a personal attack when people don’t say, “have a nice day!” You know, I’m just a little thin-skinned. (Okay, okay, I have paper skin of the same hue, but let’s not split hairs.)

But thankfully and magically, the holidays have changed that (or at least, they have made my affliction less noticeable). Around this time of year, I am suddenly surrounded by a cloud of sentimentality from the people I interact with daily. What is it about this season (the end of one year, the beginning of the next) that makes people bust out their tissues and tell you how they really feel about your relationship? Like, if I don’t see you for the rest of 2014, I need you to know that I really enjoyed your company for the past 360 days. Could this be the result of the proximity of our loved ones? Or possibly some commercialism brainwashing?

Wherever it comes from, I think it is wonderful. Finally! says the CareBear inside of me, Finally, we’re expressing our feelings in a meaningful way! Group hug, everyone! No, come on, get in here and get your pipin’ hot slice of love!

And I do love it. I’m so thankful that people are a bit more free with their feelings, a little bit sappier around this time, so their loved ones and acquaintances receive some type of acknowledgement for everything in the past year. After all, everyone wants to be reminded of what their presence means to someone. That’s a no-brainer.

But what isn’t a given for everyone is that he or she will have another year to spend with you. So, don’t forget to spread the love around more than once every December. Remind your friends, family, employees, and acquaintances that you are glad that you’ve crossed paths on this great journey of life. Believe me, you’ll be happy you said something when you did.

Author’s note: I will not be posting for the rest of the week, but I hope that everyone has a safe and happy holiday! Love, BaileyDailey

Two’s Company, Three’s A…

Bailey GunnLeave a comment

…party? At least, it is for me. Although, it was not always this way.

Hard to believe, but I had a lot of different friends growing up. (I know! Who would have the guts to be friends with someone that has a blog and has no limits when it comes to potential topics?) I’ve had best friends, I’ve had frenemies, and I’ve had people who have merely tolerated my existence. I can’t say that I could blame them on any level. I was Hermione Granger but only 100x more obnoxious and more ready to tell you that you were wrong, wrong, wrong. But I could be nice sometimes…when I felt like it.

Unfortunately, many of my friendships ended in fights and dismissals. I suppose I can spin it now and suggest that we were passionate enough to let go of our relationship with fireworks instead of letting it fade away. But really, it is more that I was just a royal a**hole growing up. After all, I have the witnesses to prove it.

But despite all of my failings, there was always something in my friendships that was completely out of my hands: I was always the third person, the third wheel. Yes, every time I made a friendship, it was because I was friends with two other people. So, we thought, how perfect! We can all just hang out together. This will be great and in no way go wrong.

Except, it did. A lot. When you’re younger, and your mom says you can’t go out, well, you can’t. And then your friends start hanging out without you. And if they are girls, they are going to start talking behind your back when they are hanging out without you. (I’m sorry. It’s a stereotype for a reason.) And then, suddenly, one afternoon, you are absolutely NOT friends.

I’m sure everyone has experienced this before. Actually, I know it has happened in some capacity to everyone. Everyone has been left feeling, well, left out.

Except, for the rare occasion when you don’t feel like that. When your friends are exactly what they say they are: friends. And they try extra hard to make sure everyone feels warm and included. And when you find those kinds of friends (like I have), you can’t deny that the old saying “Two’s a Company, Three’s a Crowd” is total horsefeathers.

My friends now have completely erased any reservations that I may have had back then. I can put my utmost trust in them, and they give it right back. I can tease them, and they give it right back. I can love them, and they give it right back.  I’m so excited to be reunited with them tomorrow. For the first time in my life, I know that I will have friends for life, without fearing their rejection. For the first time in my life, I see friendships as “the more the merrier” rather than “let’s pare this down.” I have love in my life times two. And that’s a beautiful thing.

How To Be A Friend

Bailey GunnLeave a comment

Now that I have gotten all of my anger out in last night’s post, I figured it would be in my best interest to write about a lighter subject: Friends. 

No, not the (best) television show. And not the people you “stalk” on social media sites. I’m talking about the people that are not related to you by blood but are tied to you by something stronger. That’s right, the people who actually chose you to be in their lives, instead of being forced to take baths with you and share clothing (AKA siblings.) (Although, I  am lucky. My best friend is also my sister and my sister is also my best friend.)

So, how do you keep a friend? Well, it’s really that simple. Just keep them in your life. Being a friend is just choosing to make sure that person gets to participate in your journey from time to time, but time after time after time. In other words, you don’t have to be joined at the hip to prove your friend love. You just have to pick them over everyone else once in awhile and when it counts.

Of course, there are going to be friends that are going to fight tooth and nail (whether they are consciously making the decision or not) to leave you out of their life and to ensure that they don’t keep in contact. They are going to ignore your calls, they are going to forget you had plans, and they are going to make you feel stupid on more than one occasion. These are still your friends, but they are friends that are taxing to your spirit, and you will eventually need to let go of these people. Now, sometimes, you will need to forgive them. And sometimes, you will need to say goodbye. I promise, you will know the difference when you encounter these situations.

In the end, you need to stay with the people who may not remember to respond to you right away but will apologize profusely when they realize they haven’t answered your texts. You need to keep the people who you don’t get to see very often, but who look forward to the next time you will meet. You need to remain friends with people who may not know every minor detail of your existence but who will always make you feel good. If you continue to accept that sometimes life is like a ship on a rough and far sea and that the weather will eventually be suitable for sailing once more, then, congratulations, you are a great friend.

So, whether it is your friends, your family, or your framily (Thanks, Sprint) you need to remember to be vulnerable and to answer their calls once in awhile. Even if it’s just for a few minutes, even if it’s just for a few hours. You can always make a world of difference by acknowledging the life of a friend.