A Middle-School Poem for the Government Shutdown

Sadly, the American government is currently in shutdown. Even more pathetic is the fact that no one seems to know what is going on. After reading several blogs that attempted to convey the matter to me, a fairly normal and politically uneducated college grad, failed miserably, I have taken it upon myself to write a very tasteless poem about our government’s pickle. (Take that how you will.) Oh, don’t thank me. It’s the least I could do for my country. I wish Washington could say the same…

Unlike most political blog posts, howeverm you have absolutely no excuse to not read this because it is written for a very low reading level. Also, it rhymes like all great, tasteless poems. (See “The Man From Nantucket” if you don’t believe me. Also, don’t read aloud. NSFW)

And now, without further ado, my take on the government shutdown. I think Shel Silverstein and Dr. Seuss will either throw up in their graves or love this one:


What’s the problem, government?
Did you forget to pay the bills?
Did someone forget their teddy and blanket at home?
Is that why you’re freezing us out? Giving us the chills?

Or is it something simpler than that?
Did someone not schedule the right meeting?
Are you mad because you’re not sitting next to someone you like?
Would it help if you had assigned seating?

Because children on the bus are more well-behaved
And rival gangs can get more done
Than you and a couple of friends, sitting in upholstered chairs
In the nicest room, with the nicest food in Washington

Now, maybe I’m uneducated
Because it surely must be hard being you
But I’m certain that making sure your country is paid for
Is a no brainer, just like red, white and blue.

Thankfully, our military services are still getting their pay
For they do it for their families, and not for the fame
But I sincerely believe that everyone’s at fault
And I am placing absolute, bi-partisan blame.

Could someone please help us figure this out?
Do we need new organs in this governmental body, a new donor?
Because I’m not feeling very happy to see this on TV.
But you all seem to be, because you still have a Boehner.

If you have a better idea for a poem for the government shutdown, leave it in the comments!

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